Wrestlemania 27 Preview

The biggest event in sports entertainment is taking place this Sunday, and with March Madness happening on Saturday (as well Theheadrush fantasy baseball draft on Sunday morning), this is gonna be one helluva weekend!

Now in for the sake of full disclosure let’s get a couple of things clear: 1.) I actually don’t get to watch all that much wrestling, but rather, I read all the write-ups of what happened the day after.  The reason?  I go to sleep every night around 9 (sad. true.). 2.) I am a huge Rock supporter.  In fact, he’s the reason that i got into wrestling in the first place.

See, back when I played youth soccer on the Hawks (shout out!), me and my two teammates would always recap what was going on with regards to attitude era wrestling. It was on a trip to Minnesota to play at the USA Cup where they educated me on the happenings of WCW/NWO/WWF, and once we returned from that trip, I tuned in and the first thing I saw was Rocky Maivia and The Nation of Domination battling DX.

Hook line and sinker.

I don’t know what drew me in about the Rock, but I think it was the fact that he sucked and everyone hated on him.  So I stuck up for the guy and before I knew it, BAM!  People’s Champ! WWE Champ! People’s Elbow becomes legit where it was once the source of scorn.

So that’s where I’m coming from.  Anyway, let’s get it on!

WWE Championship Match

The Miz (c) vs. John Cena

This could go one of three ways.

Way one: The Rock interferes and costs Cena the match, the Miz retains and faces Morrison/Daniel Bryan/someone at Summerslam while Cena faces the Rock.

Way two: The Rock interferes and TRIES to cost Cena the match, fails and Cena beats the Miz anyway, once again setting up a TITLE match between Rock/Cena at Summerslam.

Way three: The Rock interferes but wrecks the Miz, showing that he was a face all along and helps Cena to win the title, heading back to hollywood to make crappy movies.

Which way do I think it will go down?  WAY TWO!  The Rock is better as a heel anyway, and Cena is corny and a doofus (aka I hate John Cena), but he is the face of the franchise and he needs to get the belt.  Miz just ain’t cutting it as champ.  So I see the Rock trying to stop Cena from winning, but Cena somehow overcoming the odds and winning anyway, setting up a championship match of Cena vs the Rock at Summerslam!

Side note: How aggravating are Cena’s raps?  They are TERRIBLE!  Let’s make one up right now:

Yo, Rock, don’t talk smack,

you don’t know me.

You think you can beat the champ?

Then go ahead and show me!


That’s EXACTLY how every Cena rap is.  Standard ABCB rhyme scheme.  It’s crap.  It’s corny.  It’s middle school creative writing.  He needs to go away. That’s why he gets booed all the time.  He is a grown man, wearing purple shirts and jorts, spouting off corny raps with a shit eating grin on his face and he wonders why people hate him.  Let’s not forget that if it weren’t for the Rock, there would be no Marine or Twelve Rounds or…wait, should I hate the Rock for this?  Moving on….


World Heavyweight Championship Match

Edge (c) vs. Alberto Del Rio

If it stays this way, then I see Edge winning.  HOWEVER, I see this somehow becoming a three way match with Christian entering and finally winning the World Heavy Weight Championship.  Will it happen?  Probably not.  Would it be awesome if it did?  Give me a HELL YEAH!


No Holds Barred Match

HHH vs. The Undertaker

The Undertaker wins.  Next.  BTW, I hate when HHH gets up in someones face and they pan to the side because his nose is freakin huge and nasty.  Stop that please.






U.S. Title Match

Sheamus (c) vs. Daniel Bryan

I think Sheamus needs this more so he gets the nod.  Bryan should be moving on to bigger and better things.  Actually, maybe the Miz retains, setting up Miz vs. Bryan at Summerslam…actually, no, that has no build.  That’s more likely a Royal Rumble Match.  Anyway, Sheamus and his pale skin win.


Rey Mysterio vs. Cody Rhodes

It’s be nice to see Cody Rhodes win cause he has potential to be a great heel in the future.  But it’s not his time.  Mysterio wins.


Randy Orton vs. CM Punk.

Punk is my favorite.  But he won’t win.  Randy Orton’s schtick is kinda tired, but people like him so he gets the win.  HE’S THE VIPER!


Michael Cole vs. Jerry Lawler

Cole gets what’s coming to him.  An ass whoooping!  He is great at playing annoying, but using a gay slur on twitter is really not smart.

Side note: between Cena using homophobic rants every time he touches the mic and Cole’s twitter message, this has not been a good month for WWE and GLAAD.  Cena in particular needs to be ashamed.  All he does is say how he is a role model and then he goes out and uses gay jokes?  Weak.  Sauce.  Let’s not forget that these two are using gay put downs when they make their living either wrestling with or announcing about oiled up, half naked men in speedo’s grabbing one another and trying to pin their opponent.


John Morrison (blah blah blah)

This match is terrible.  It has Snooki invovled who is going to be drunk as a skunk and mess everything up.  Let’s just go with the faces and forget that this ever happened.


The Corre vs. Big Show, Kane, Santino and Kozlov

Let’s go with the Corre cause they sure do need a win.


All in all, not the greatest of Wrestlemania cards, but let’s hope that the Rock steals the show!  I won’t be watching, it costs money holmes!  So I won’t know till Monday.

If you stayed with me this long, thanks for reading!


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