The Dumbest Trial in the History of History…

altRogers Clemens entered federal court yesterday to defend the charges against him of lying under oath to congress.  A few years ago, Clemens sat at a congressional hearing and repeatedly said he did not taking performance enhancing drugs, despite several of his colleagues in the same investigation admitting to the wrong doing, and naming Clemens as someone who had taken them as well. 

Clemens is fighting this obvious guilt so much, he’s decided to take it to court and turn this into huge circus.  Now I don’t really believe the government should have ANY business in sports, and certainly shouldn’t be wasting this much time figuring out who’s on the juice, but since they are going forward… let’s go ahead and pick this apart a little bit…

Pretty much everyone who has ever been accused of performancing enhancing drugs has admitted to doing so, and basically has either been forgiven or forgotten.  It’s clear that this should be the passage of any athlete who’s ever been caught cheating.  The media even suggests this.  Mark McGuire was the most recent to do so, and since then, he’s been embraced as the St.Louis Cardinals hitting coach. 

What’s even worse is that Roger Clemens’ former teammate Andy Pettitte is going to testify against him, and Pettitte has already admitted to taking HGH himself.  None of Clemens’s former teammates have his back.  His story is paper thin, but he’s still sticking to his guns.  This sounds reminiscent of the Duke lacrosse stripper rape case.  Basically a stripper accused the entire Duke Lacrosse team of raping her, but even her co-stripper at the time didn’t support her story.  Roger, when your co-stripper doesn’t have your back, your in trouble. 

altAnd what’s with Clemens’s lawyer?  The guy looks like the sheriff from Dukes of Hazzard.  Every press conference the man has makes him sound less and less intelligent.  Clemens has a lot of money, and this is the best he could do?  With a name like Rusty Hardin, you’re never sure what kind of justice your gonna get.  Trials will begin and end with a banjo solo.

What’s sad is that most likely this trial will go forward, it will take a really long time to complete, most of the questions that people have won’t be answered, but they won’t have enough evidence to convict him of lying to congress.  He will probably boast how he told the truth, even though everyone on the face of the planet knows he’s lying, and he’ll just end up looking like more of a dick then he does now.  

There are so many things wrong with this entire trial the list could go on and on… like for example, Roger Clemens’s hair plugs that make him look like a 1998 teen pop icon.  Either way, I can’t wait to see the absurd things that come because of this trial.  As Rusty Hardin would say, “Saddle Up!”

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