All Posts Tagged nfl

2019 AFC Wildcard Predictions!

Bills at Texans In researching this game—and by ‘researching’ I mean Googling ‘Bills vs Texans’ and clicking on the first link that popped up—I was surprised to see that all but one of the experts on CBS sports is picking the Bills. I think that the Texans take care of business at home to earn their annual wild card win, divisional round loss. This year, heading into Randy’s fantasy football draft, I didn’t want to draft a quarterback early, like Deshaun Watson. I wanted to wait on a quarterback and get Josh Allen late in the draft. I chose…

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2019 NFC Wild Card Predictions!

Hot dog, everyone, we’re back!  Adam and I have made a New Year’s resolution to return and give the readers what they have long been begging for: sub-par sports predictions and fodder!  In spite of our long sabbatical filled with marriages, kids, job changes, and peyote benders, we still feel compelled to deliver hard-hitting analysis and predict the future of sport. I can assure you that in that time span, we have gotten no more wiser, no more humble, and no more accurate with our commentary.  And with that, BRING ON THE FODDER!! Seattle Seahawks (-1.5) @ Philadelphia Eagles…

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NFL Free Agency in a Nutshell

2014: the Buccaneers sign Michael Johnson to a 5-year, $43.75 million deal with $24 million guaranteed. Declared a great signing as he was the number 5 free agent available. 2015: Profootballtalk is reporting that in an attempt to get out of paying Johnson $7 million, the Buccaneers might cut him. After a year. 2013: The Dolphins sign linebacker Philip Wheeler to a five-year, $26 million contract. 2015: The Dolphins are trying to trade or will release Wheeler. So remember, when your team signs a player to a contract worth millions today, it might be best to temper your expectations….

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Roger Dodger

So about that Roger Goodell press conference…what a dope. That was the only thought that was going through my head while I watched Goodell sputter his way through the press conference like me during my sophomore year of college when I had to give a presentation in all Spanish. “Uh…es un necessario…uh…es muy importante….” Goodness gracious, how did that man ever become commissioner? Just look at this garbage: Q: The atlantic city prosecutor’s office says they don’t have any trail for the documentation. Can you give us the trail of how you did the investigation so people can know…

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Suspending Disbelief

So…the NFL, amirite? Jeebus, what a terrible week. The whole Ray Rice fiasco now Adrian Peterson is an accused beater of children. The weird part about the Adrian Peterson story is that it prompted about a billion, “If hitting your kid with a switch is illegal, then my mom would be in prison!” har har har jokes on Twitter, which is…interesting. For one thing, everyone making that joke needs to realize, their mom is not Adrian F-ing Peterson. Peterson is chiseled, and wrecks grown men for a living, just imagine what he would do to a FOUR YEAR OLD…

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Chip Kelly Proves NFL Players are Out of Shape

Did you guys hear how well Chip Kelly’s up-tempo offense did on Monday night?  I sure did. About a zillion times. But you know what? All that it proves to me is that NFL players are out of shape. Seriously. If you can’t handle running for 5 seconds every 40 seconds, then that is a damn shame. In fact, football games only feature 11 minutes of actual action during the course of a game. If everything played out equally, that means defenses are on the field for about 5.5 minutes a game. Break it down again and individual defenses…

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Tyrann Mathieu

Turnaround the Turnaround

I am so ready for the NFL season to begin. You know why? So we can stop having insane articles like this on NFL.com: “Tyrann Mathieu proving Arizona Cardinals right with turnaround.” The only problem with this headline? Tyrann Mathieu has not played in a single NFL game. So how in the world is he ‘proving Arizona Cardinals right?’ They drafted a player with off the field issues who so far hasn’t been a headache and has looked good in pre-season games. You know who else looked good in pre-season games? The 2006 Oakland Raiders. They went 5-0 and…

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