Roger Dodger

So about that Roger Goodell press conference…what a dope. That was the only thought that was going through my head while I watched Goodell sputter his way through the press conference like me during my sophomore year of college when I had to give a presentation in all Spanish. “Uh…es un necessario…uh…es muy importante….”

Goodness gracious, how did that man ever become commissioner? Just look at this garbage:

Q: The atlantic city prosecutor’s office says they don’t have any trail for the documentation. Can you give us the trail of how you did the investigation so people can know what you put into it?

A: Certainly. Our security department works with law enforcement. They are fully cooperative. We gather almost entirely all of our information through law enforcement. And that is something else we are going to look at, Rachel. Is that the right process. Should all of our information be gathered simply through law enforcement? We understand and respect what they go through and the job they have to do.

Just in case you guys weren’t sure, Goodell would like to remind you that the NFL works with LAW ENFORCEMENT all the time and really respects and loves and cherishes the job that they have to do. What a pandering schmuck. His answer is basically, “is it our facult that we love cops so much? Maybe…”

Also, let’s watch as he talks about the Ray Rice situation, completely absolving himself of any blame and then skirting away when pressed for details like the red headed cyborg that he is:

Q: What exactly did ray rice tell you happened in the elevator and how did what you thought in your mind happen in the elevator differ from what we saw in the video?

A: Judy, a couple of things. First off, i said we got new information from the first time i met with him to my initial discipline, which three weeks later, i acknowledged was not sufficient. It was clear there was an act of domestic violence. But it was inconsistent with the way he described what happened. When we had that new information we had the ability to say we are going to interject and we are going to take additional action. That is what we did. There was new information that developed because we had not seen that second tape that became public roughly 10 days or so ago. That was not consistent with what he said.

Q: Commissioner, what did he say? What did he tell you happened?

A: The one issue with this is this is now a matter of appeal. As you know the nfl p.A. Has appealed this. It is a matter that is going to be taken up with appeal. Without prejudges, i have to respect the appeals process.

Q: You keep talking about transparency. Why can’t you tell us what he said?

A: It is inconsistent with what he told us, what we saw on the video. We have an appeals process. That information will come out.


And of course, the question–I think from Rachel Nichols–about the integrity of the NFL’s own half-assed investigation into what exactly happened with the tape was awesome:

Q: Commissioner, you mentioned robert mueller’s investigation. I’m not going to discuss the integrity of the ex-director of the fbi. The law firm that he works for is a law firm with extremely close ties to the nfl. You guys paid that law firm to help you negotiate some television deals, the president of the ravens who will be key in this whole investigation worked at that law firm for more than 30 years. Why hire someone with even the appearance of inpropriety and how do you expect us to accept everything?

A: I respectfully disagree. You are questioning the integrity of the director of the fbi. Yes. That firm has represented us in the past. They have also been on the other side in litigation against the nfl. So this is a highly respected individual, the longest serving director in the fbi. part of the idea of this is to restore public trust.

Q: So even if he does a flawless investigation isn’t there an element here of your leaving the door open for doubt?

A: Well, rachel, unfortunately we live in a world where there is a lot of litigation. A lot of law firms and maybe people have had some interaction with us in the past. Robert mueller has not. The law firm may have. We are hiring robert mueller, his credentials to do an independent investigation reporting to the owners and i’m competent that will be the case.

Q: Did he interview you yet? Did robert mueller interview you yet?

A: That is something that robert mueller is going to have to announce. We are not disclosing or involving. He is running an independent investigation. He will meet with anyone he wishes any time he wishes. He will get cooperation from me and anybody in the building. I’m not making comments about the investigation. He has full access. If he feels he wants to speak to anybody.

And of course, TMZ sports putting the screws to Goodell:

Q: Adam Glen with tmz and tmz sports. I have to go back to your video and curiosity to see the video. You suspended ray rice after our video. Why didn’t you have the curiosity to go to the casino yourself?

A: Two things. We suspended ray rice originally after seeing the first video. When the second video came out last week, that is when we increased our discipline because that was inconsistent with the information we had. It was new information. One of the things i said in my statement and i have said repeatedly here, that is part of what we want to do with all of our experts. Outside, internal, is try to figure out how should we investigate these issues. In the past we have been almost completely reliant with law enforcement. We do not want to interview with a criminal investigation. In particular here when you are dealing with a casino in new jersey there are more restrictions because it is overseen i believe by the attorney general. We have to be very cautious in not interfering with a criminal investigation. We’ll evaluate that. Should we do more to get more information. I would have loved to see that tape. Should we do more —

Q: Mr. Commissioner, we found out by one phone call. You have a whole legal department. Can you explain that?

A: I can’t explain how you got the information. Only you can do that.

Yeeeeeeeeeesh. This dude is clueless.

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