Random Thoughts: Warriors Edition

1.) Can we talk about The Warriors for a moment?  That movie has pretty much everything I look for in a film.  Great story?  Check.  Awesome setting?  Check.  Bad ass gangs? Double check.  Incredible amounts of homoeroticism?  TRIPLE check.

I put it on last night and was just blown away by the soundtrack, the costumes, everything.  It is such a bold premise for a film: adapting the Anabasis by Xenophon and setting it in NYC in the future.

Now, I never read the Anabasis but it’s based on a bunch of Greeks stranded deep in the terroitory of the Persian empire and having to fight their way back home. So they take that story, and place it sometime in the future where gangs are all over New York.  But these aren’t any gangs, mind you, these are gangs like The Baseball Furies (who where baseball uniforms, naturally), The Turnbull AC’s (they somehow got their hands on a bus), the High-Hats (who wear clown make up and top hats) and the Punks (who wear overalls and roller skates).

I was trying to decide which gang I would want to be in if I had to choose.  I think I’d either want to be in the “Boppers” who are from Harlem and wear Purple waistcoats, cream-colored trousers and hats, or in the “Moonrunners” cause they wear silver space style-suits and purple vests with moon necklaces.

Or, of course, The Warriors.

2.) Apparently the guy who plays Mac from It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia gained 50 lbs for the upcoming season, which I think is a hysterical move.  I look forward to seeing how this all plays out.

3.) If you’re not watching R-Truth from the WWE right now, you are missing out on one of the greatest heel turns in recent memory.  The guy is freaking amazing.  Hands down the best part of every WWE show. Every time he talks about “Little Jimmy” it’s gold. I mean the dude is bonkers.  The other night, he came out in a confederate army uniform (they were in Virginia, mind you) and he talked about how the confederacy had some good ideas (he is African-American, mind you), clarifying that he was seceding from the WWE. The man is putting on a clinic right now and let’s hope that he gets a title around his waist sometime soon.

4.) David Tyree said that gay marriage will lead to anarchy.  In other news, David Tyree is an idiot.  And I say that David Tyree’s comments and lack of football playing ability will lead to his continuing unemployment.

I checked on his Wikipedia page to make sure he isn’t playing anymore, and it says that he officially retired from football in 2010.  I guess retirement now means, “I’m a terrible player and nobody will sign me…so I retire!”

How can this guy say things like “Marriage is the backbone of our society” and “if you redefine it, it changes the way we educate our children, it changes the perception of what is good, what is right, what is just.”  I guess what is “right” and “just” is marrying a woman for a year and then texting out pictures of your wiener and getting a divorce. Or banging the cleaning lady and fathering a bunch of illegitimate children and then getting a divorce.  I guess that is the precious backbone Tyree is afraid will break.

5.) Bill Simmons unveiled Grantland last week and I wanted to wait to give my impression. My initial impression was: “Holy shit this website is terrible.  Man do I want some Subway.”

But I think that’s the knee-jerk reaction for everything Simmons does because Simmons bashing is so easy and satisfying and in vogue.  So I didn’t want to write about it last week cause my response was biased and not very well thought out.

Well, I’ve had some time to think about it and I think that the best word to describe Grantland is: Meh.

It doesn’t suck, but it’s not very good, either.  The essays just seem like masturbatory exercises to me (pot, meet kettle).  Simmons first piece to kick off Grantland was probably one of the most “Look how awesome I am” thing that I’ve read. It was kind of off-putting and made me want to hate the site.  Then I read Klosterman’s piece on the Native American basketball game and it was OK.

But that was it?  That’s how you kick off a website?  That needed an ESPN coundown?  I dunno, I haven’t read a full article since the Klosterman one.  They are just too long and boring.


Until next time…

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