Liam Neeson: A Wolf Would Destroy You
1.) I know that I am probably going to get destroyed for saying this, but I’m getting a little sick of Liam Neeson’s attempt at being an action star. You know why? Cause the guy looks out of shape! In fact, I bet Liam Neeson couldn’t even finish a 5K. After that movie, Taken, I’ve heard people say things like, “Liam Neeson is BADASS!” To that I say, “No…no he isn’t.”
In this new movie, The Grey, Neeson has to take out a pack of angry wolves. I’m sure that Neeson will win in the movie, but do you know who would win in real life? THE WOLVES! Here’s how it would play out. Old, slow Liam Neeson would take one swing at the quick and hungry wolves, he would miss, he’d be out of breath and the wolves would tear his throat out.
End of movie. Liam Neeson, go back to starring in chick flicks like Love Actually. You’re not an action star and it’s starting to get on my nerves.
2.) For those of you that are in Delaware, I implore you: Go check out the University of Delaware’s Women’s Basketball team. Holy crap they are incredible! Elena Delle Donne is ridiculous to watch in person, it’s like seeing the women’s basketball version of Magic Johnson. She makes sweet no-look passes, blocks shots, hits three, has a great inside game, it’s remarkable. Last night she had 41 points, 15 rebounds and 5 assists. Not too shabby.
And let’s not take away from the rest of the team, either. They are STACKED! In fact, as of this post, they are ranked #15 IN THE COUNTRY. Delle Donne is the leading scorer IN THE COUNTRY! How many times is this going to happen at UD? If you haven’t seen a game yet, go and watch. You will not be disappointed.
3.) To piggy back off the last point, I once had male a friend in high school who said that he could play in the WNBA. He shall remain nameless (though, you neighborhood friends are sure to remember this claim) but let me just let him no this: There is no chance in hell that he could hang in the WNBA. After watching the women’s basketball game last night, not only was I thoroughly impressed but I was also re-assured that if I or any of my male friends tried to step on that floor we would’ve gotten DESTROYED by any player out there. Forget the WNBA, women’s college athletics is no joke.
4.) How in the blue hell did Jonah Hill get nominated for an Academy Award for his performance in Money Ball? Also, how did the Melissa McCarthy get nominated for Bridesmaids? Have movies really gotten THAT bad? Don’t get me wrong, McCarthy was kinda funny in the movie, but she wasn’t THAT funny. And Hill, well, he didn’t really have to do much.
5.) The Raiders hired the Broncos DC for their head coach, and you know what? I LOVE IT! Of course, I also loved the hiring of Art Shell (it was college, don’t ask), Lane Kiffin (college again, and as has been documented here many times, my senior thesis was dedicated to Lane Kiffin and JaMarcus Russell who would return the Raiders to the glory days…which is probably the most hilarious and short-sighted thing I’ve ever done), loved Tom Cable being hired and loved the hiring of Hue Jackson. So I mean, yeah, I’m probably not the best judge of Raiders head coaching candidates.
6.) You know, Lee Evans really should’ve held onto that touchdown, but if you go back and watch the tape (The word TAPE! That must mean it’s almost NFL Draft time!) it almost looks as if he didn’t get two but THREE feet down in the endzone before he loses the ball. Just go back and watch it. Here’s what COULD have happened (for the record, I am playing devil’s advocate cause I don’t think it was a catch): As soon as he catches the ball–and I mean for a SPLIT second–it looks like he has the ball AND his left foot is down, then his right foot gets down no questions asked, and then he MAYBE (but probably not) still has the ball as his right foot hits the ground again. I’m not saying he caught it, but it definitely should’ve been reviewed. Oh and also: I hate the Patriots.
7.) My pick for this year’s Royal Rumble winner? Cody Rhodes! At least, that is what I’m hoping for. If Rhodes wins, it gives some new blood a chance and is better than a re-tread like Randy Orton winning (though, he probably will).
By the way, while we are talking about the WWE, can we talk about Brodus Clay? The man may be the best thing the WWE has going for it. For those of you who don’t know, Brodus Clay is this big fat ugly dude who they call “The Funkasaurus” who comes out in old red Run DMC Addidas suits, dances with two girls, rips them off and wrestles in a singlet. It sounds TERRIBLE, I know, but somehow, SOMEHOW it works. He also announces all his moves as he is doing them, so when he is about to suplex someone across the ring, he grabs them and yells “SUPLEX!” Which I think is really funny. He also yells “MY BAD!” Whenever he crushes someone with a move, which is also pretty funny. Brodus Clay is a character that shouldn’t work, one that should be incredibly stupid, and yet somehow, he is awesome. I predict that he will hold a title (not the world but maybe a U.S. or Intercontinental) before the year is out, after they do away with the “Funkasaurus” gimmick and make him into a scary, intimidating heel.
That’s all for me! Until next time….