Half-Assed Cat Makes a Stink

I know I picked the Niners/Pats Superbowl, but who could honestly account for Kyle Williams giving the New York Giants 10 points? Poor kid. Same thing with Billy Cundiff. I remember seeing the Ravens line up to go for it on 4th and 6 instead of attempting a ~55 yard field goal for the tie, not knowing if they’d get possession again or not, and being very puzzled by this. Then, CBS ran a stat that said something like, “Billy Cundiff, since 2006, in 50+ yard field goals, 1/10.”

Yep. That makes sense. But then to watch him hook a 32 yarder, you go back and think about perhaps that decision of going for it on 4th and 6 got into his head somehow. I read his post-game interviews. He seemed pretty content with the outcome and said his Ravens teammates offered a lot of support.

There’s also some story running around about the Patriots putting the wrong down on the scoreboard before Cundiff’s kick, causing some of the Ravens sideline to rush him onto the field for his kick, disrupting his routine. Kickers are weird guys. I could see that. I could totally see the Patriots doing some dirtiness like that as well. Meh, I don’t know how I feel anymore.

All I know is, the Conference Championships weren’t really about one team overcoming adversity or performing well, it was all about the losing team’s collapse falling on the shoulders of one particular player. I’m not really looking forward to a Pats/Giants rematch, although I imagine Roger Goodell is. Revenue streams, playa.

Did you know that the Fox Sports robot that runs during commercials is named Cleatus? What a weird name. He even has his own Twitter account so you can Tweet to him during the game and… do what? What the hell could you possibly have to say to a fake hill-billy named robot that tells you what the game was sponsored by? Well, I looked it up, here were some gems:

beewits beewits
@cleatus you don’t dance the way you used to.

ThisBenFlanagan Ben Flanagan
Was @Cleatus in REAL STEEL? Bet he auditioned…

seaniscreative Sean Thompson
So apparently the fox football robot has a twitter. I hate that thing more now. Apparently it’s @cleatus

ian_judd I.K.J.
I wish @cleatus the fox robot would respond to my tweets. Get at me dog! Go niners

The last guy had SEVERAL Tweets directed @Cleatus, and I suppose he was getting all worked up at the idea of Cleatus not responding. The fuck’d you expect guy?

Baseball interest is probably the lowest it can be during this time of year, which is why I’d like to touch on a subject. Cleveland Indians’ pitcher Fausto Carmona was arrested (and I’m assuming deported?) for falsifying his identity when scouts checked up on him in the Dominican Republic before he was signed. He gave a false name and a false age. He’s also not the first player to do it. Marlins’ pitcher Leo Nunez was arrested for the same thing about 4 months ago when the team discovered he was using a false name and false age as well to play baseball.

Neither of these pitchers are huge in the game of baseball right now so it’s not a mind-blowing media event, and that probably doesn’t bode well for these two. The age thing is pretty messed up. Carmona said he was 3 years younger than he actually is. That’s a pretty big deal when your body is your job. The name thing, though… who cares? Let em’ play. In an era where probably hundreds of baseball players used drugs to make themselves more than what they are, I don’t see why this needs to be dragged out. Get them a new visa, give em a physical, and then let them play again.

Word is the Raiders are hiring Denver Broncos’s defensive coordinator Dennis Allen. I wonder how Adam feels about this. I wasn’t able to confirm, though, as I didn’t make it through the Tostitos commercials…

Barcelona and Real Madrid play again today. This is, what, like the 100th time this season? These guys haven’t played that much in 20 years.

Alright… I’m falling apart here…. I’m done.

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