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Cleaning Up Like Danny Tanner

Hey, I’m a cartoon now! Sweet! 1.) Here is all you need to know about how obnoxious ESPN’s coverage of Jeremy Lin has gotten: Last night the Knicks played the Heat and you know what?  I was rooting for the Heat to win! Goodness, it hurts to write that, but it’s true!  I would’ve rather had Lebron James destroy those fools and put a (albeit brief) stop to all the Jeremy Lin madness. Look, I get it, it’s rare that something like this happens. But on Saturday morning, I turned on ESPN and they had an interview with Lin…

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Can’t No Sucka Tell Lucious Sweets How to Ball

Thank God for Boston and New York’s troubles, because the 76ers have hit a lull. With Rajon Rondo getting ejected for throwing a basketball at the ref and Kevin Garnett injured, the Celtics have spiraled into a losing skid that doesn’t look to be getting better before the All-Star Break. The Knicks had Carmelo Anthony return last night, and guess what? They lost. Even with ESPN showcasing a picture of Lin and Melo holding hands (yep…) with headlines claiming “It’s Not What You Think”, it’s TOTALLY what we think, and will continue to think. Melo is a selfish player,…

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Moonshining Envelopes

1.) If you haven’t watched that show “Moonshiners” yet, do yourself a favor and check it out.  HILARIOUS. Here is all you need to know: It’s a show about moonshiners in Appalachia who set up hidden stills to brew moonshine and they’re named things like “Popcorn” and “Tickle.” Tickle, by the way, is almost always going to do something hysterical. And yes, it is seems like moonshine fumes and drinking mash liquor for his entire life has turned his brain to mush.  Go figure. 2.) I still haven’t watched that Full Metal Jousting show that my cousin recommended, but…

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Linsanity, Dwight Howardness, and Whitnecity

What are you doing ESPN? Linsanity is turning into a huge ordeal and you’re going to ruin this poor kid’s career. Sure, it’s incredible that a rookie is coming in and averaging 20+ points a game in his debut. It’s in New York. It’s big. I dig all of that. He’s saying all of the right things, doing all of the right things, and New York is winning. That’s nice. But why does every story on ESPN New York have the word “Lin” in it? I know there’s a lull in sports stories, but that kind of overexposure is…

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It’s Hard Keeping These Gators Down, Woooooooo!

Monte Ellis stats from last night – 48 points, 7 assists. The outcome of the game? They lost. Maybe it’s because they were playing the super-hot Thunder, but I’ll still bet some (probably most) of that lies on their poor defense. I remember the buzz around trading Andre Iguodala for him before the season, and now, I have to admit I’m glad we didn’t. Dre’ hasn’t been a total bust. He’s played hurt. He’s played consistent. He’s played great defense. That’s really the staple of his entire career. He’s an average offensive player, with some truly talented athletic ability,…

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Post Super Bowl Thoughts

1.)  This Super Bowl gave us an instantly classic moment and no I’m not talking about Eli Manning’s crazy pass to Mario Manningham (although that was pretty memorable). I’m talking about 5 minutes into the first quarter, when every wife/girlfriend in America turned to their husband/boyfriend and asked: ‘What’s a safety?’ 2.) How come Eli Manning and Tom Coughlin get kissed into the Hall of Fame after their second Super Bowl win and yet Jim Plunkett and Tom Flores–QB and Coach for the Raiders–who both have two Super Bowl rings get no love? Then Curtis Martin gets in?  Are…

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Date with Ikea

1.) For the record, Blake Griffin’s “Dunk” over Kendrick Perkins was not technically a dunk.  Remember a few years back when Dwight Howard put on the Superman cape and jumped up and chucked the ball into the hoop during the dunk contest?  A lot of people cried “That’s not a dunk!” Well, that is exactly what Griffin did to Perkins.  He jumped really high, got fouled and chucked the ball into the hoop.  Impressive?  OF COURSE!  Dunk?  I think not. Kevin Durant agrees with me! 2.) Robert Kraft, owner of the Patriots, recently said, “We’re red, white and blue…

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