We’ve Got the Coolest Fantasy (and Weddings) Around

First, I gotta talk about this guy. Way to be, fellah. If you didn’t see it, my man in the Phillies jersey over here decided to lean over the railing to catch what was going to be Hunter Pence’s double. Marlin’s outfielder Bryan Petersen complained that it interfered with his catch (which it did) and the umpires got together to review the play. All the while, our friend in the stands sits on his cell phone, radiating with glee because of the amazing event that just happened to him! He couldn’t have had a bigger smile. Does he not…

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Don’t Tug on Superman’s Cape

1.) Grantland, it’s bad enough that all you turned out to be is a massive disappointment, churning out articles that read like a “try to write like Bill Simmons” contest, but now you’re going after the Phillies, and more specifically, Ryan Howard. In his article “Father Time and the Philadelphia Phillies,” Rany Jazayerli takes on the Phillies and how they are old and won’t be good in the not so distant future. A few points about this article: He writes: “We’re almost halfway through this column and I haven’t mentioned a hitter yet. There’s a reason for that —…

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We All Need a Savior, Mine Is Cam Newton

I’m frightened, gang. Frightened because the off-season is almost over and I’m not sure how things are going to end up. No, I’m not talking about football. I’m talking about the NBA. Obviously ESPN isn’t constantly discussing labor agreement talks for the NBA like they did with the NFL, so let me give you an update…. IT’S ALL OVER MAN!! Reports indicate that neither side is close to an agreement, and with many NBA players signing oversees, the future looks bleak. Roger Goodell didn’t have the threat of players leaving his league and signing elsewhere during his negotiations. David…

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After the Earthquake, Pryor to the Hurricane

Alright, bad headline I know.  But I couldn’t resist the easy pun. 1.) That earthquake may have been one of the lamest things in recent history.  I was driving back from getting my marriage license at the time and I didn’t even feel it.  From what I can surmise though, it wasn’t anything to write home about.  Let me put it this way, if the thin picture frame on my desk and an old Christmas card are still standing, that ain’t no earthquake.  That’s weak is what that is. Remember the earthquake on Saved by the Bell when Zack…

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A Quick Dip in the Pool

I gotta keep it short and sweet this time, kids. It’s been a busy week for yours truly, and although my passion and love for sports is stronger than ever, life has been beating me up and destroying my free time. Just to give you an idea, I’ve got 200 trinomial equations to simplify before Friday. Yippie. It’s imperative I start off by saying, “How ’bout John Mayberry Jr.??” The kid is on fire. Usually when a guy gets limited at bats, like a pinch-hitter, they struggle seeing the ball well and don’t get enough practice to be worth-while….

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Kevin Nash is Old, Tom Waits is the Beast

1.) WWE…why?  Oh goodness how you dropped the ball. Kevin Nash?  Really?  Really?  I was so excited to see the SummerSlam results and then so let down to find out that it ended in the most TNA-rrific way possible.  Having the gross hair-dyed corpse of Kevin Nash “spring” out of the stands to power bomb the “triumphant” (Cena’s foot was on the ropes) C.M. Punk allowing Alberto del Rio to cash in his Money in the Bank Briefcase. Damn you HHH.  Look, just cause you’re friends with Kevin Nash, doesn’t mean that he should be allowed anywhere near WWE…

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Football is Back, So Did It Ever Leave?

Seriously. The powers that are controlling football may very well be the smartest marketing group on the planet. I don’t doubt the lock-out was real. What I doubt is the fear and panic ESPN and the NFL tried to instill in fans and viewers this summer. Was anyone really going to walk away from a multi-billion dollar business? What they did was genius, though. They single-handedly doubled everyone’s interest in football in a few short months. Now, the commentators and analyst get to say things like, “Now that football’s back” or “Thank God we have football again” like we…

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