The Plain, the Coconut, the Picks!
Usually here on theheadrush, one of our two football pick experts, Randy or Adam, make the weekly projections. But this week, it is all up to the Wolfman to serve up a juicy slab of raw meaty picks for you. Instead of using this space to write on and on about how one team should win – only to completely reverse my course of action in the last sentence – I’m just going to give you three simple sentences per pick. If I were you I would not base any of my actual bets off of this column…I repeat KEEP YO MONEY IN YO POCKET. Just allow the words to melt your mind.
At Washington -3.5 Philadelphia – Is this the Nick Foles coming out jamboree that Eagles fan are clamoring for? Nope. Let’s see… if Michael Vick can’t avoid getting hit a billion times a game, how is this kid going to do much better?
Green Bay -3 At Detroit – There should be a lot of points scored in this game. Green Bay will score more of them. Detroit will score much less.
At Atlanta -10 Arizona – How angry is Atlanta? As angry as a muskrat in a skillet. Although I really, really like that LaRod Stevens-Howling name on Arizona.
Tampa Bay -1 At Carolina – Josh Freeman is having a great season. Cam Newton has been wearing a lot of excellent sweaters. In terms of the NFL it is better to be having a great season then to wear nice sweaters.
At Dallas -8 Cleveland – That Dallas team, eh? How untrustworthy are they? Dallas will win, but Cleveland will keep it close enough due to turnovers, dropped passes, and muffed punts.
At St. Louis -3.5 NY Jets – The Jets are drama city right now – Tebow sucks, Tebow is great, Tebow, Tebow, Tebow. Did you even know that Steven Jackson on the Rams is an aspiring photographer? Of course you didn’t.
At New England -9 Indianapolis – Even at New England the Colts have to keep this game closer than nine points right? If these Andrew Luck soothsayers are correct about the goofy dude, then I will be right about this goofy dude. And if not, then I won’t be the only one wrong.
At Houston -15 Jacksonville – I am really running out of steam here. Now I see why this task got pawned off on me. This spread is begging me to pick Jacksonville so much so that I will do the opposite.
Cincinnati -3.5 At Kansas City – This one is in Kansas City (which is why they put At in front of their name). I really think they can win this one. They are chosen.
New Orleans -5 At Oakland – Another game that should feature a ton of points. Only this time, THE RAIDERS score much more. Brees and Palmer could possibly throw the ball 150 times combined.
At Denver -8 San Diego – San Diego always seems to give up at least one pick six. Looking at the stats I’m sure that this isn’t the case. But perceptions are hard to shake.
Baltimore -3.5 At Pittsburgh – Was this spread before Big Ben got hurt? They do know Byron Leftwich is playing right? I hate Baltimore for their little fake field goal last week, and I have to question the stupid logic of exposing a trick play like that in a laugher.
At San Francisco -5 Chicago – Cutler is not playing, which is good because the way that cat takes hits I’m not sure he would survive. Therefore I choose the 49ers. Champagne anyone?
Hope you enjoyed this ride as much as I have.