altI wish baseball were over.  I wish it was October and the Phillies had already put me out of my misery, the Braves had already backed into the playoffs and I could stop caring about baseball. But it isn’t.  And I can’t.

The Phillies are on the verge of getting swept by the Astros.  This is terrible in and of itself, but the fact that the Braves just got steamrolled by the Rockies, and have lost 3 straight, makes it even worse.  

See, the Phillies could’ve had the lead back in the NL East.  But they didn’t.  Didn’t even seem to care that it was there for the taking.  And I’m beginning to believe that they won’t ever get it back.  Too much success turns good teams into a collection of superstar individuals. 

Werth has one foot out the door and doesn’t give a shit about the rest of the season, all because no matter how terrible he plays down the stretch (and trust me, he’s been fucking terrible) he’s going to bank eight figures from a team like the Yankees or the Red Sox. Did you see him get picked off the other night?  Last night’s home run does not extinguish the memory of that colossal fuck up. 

Halladay is a regular season ace but has never played a meaningful game and choked last night when his team tied the game, quickly putting them back down 3-2. Aces don’t do that.  

Rollins, Howard and Utley have all been invisible. Don’t even make me mention what Fransisco did last night. 

They just don’t seem like they care.  Which makes me feel like an asshole for caring so much. 

Part of me (gasp!) wants to see the Braves win the division this year, just so the Phillies will realize how much it sucks to lose and then they’ll come out all fired up next year ready to make another World Series run.

Part of me wants the Phillies to get it together and go on a tear down the stretch, pummeling opponents by 10 or more runs each night, passing the Braves and going on to the World Series.

Part of me is afraid that the run is over, that they’re too old and too content with their past accomplishments.

And of course, part of me just wants to ignore baseball for the rest of the season, get ready for some football, and not even know who makes it to the World Series. 

When the Phillies play with as little heart and as little urgency as they have been lately, it makes me wonder exactly what I am doing spending so many evenings trying to will them to victory, only to see them lose, and spend the rest of the night pissed off. 

Wake me up when the season is over, or rather, maybe I should just stay awake, because after that pitiful display I watched last night, I may have already seen the finish.

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