Tag Archive: Raiders

Liam Neeson: A Wolf Would Destroy You

January 27, 2012 Adam Thomas

1.) I know that I am probably going to get destroyed for saying this, but I’m getting a little sick of Liam Neeson’s attempt at being an action star.  You know why?  Cause the guy looks out of shape!  In fact, I bet Liam Neeson couldn’t even finish a 5K. After that movie, Taken, I’ve heard people say things like, “Liam Neeson is BADASS!”  To that I say, “No…no he isn’t.”

In this new movie, The Grey, Neeson has to take out a pack of angry wolves.  I’m sure that Neeson will win in the movie, but do you know who would win in real life?  THE WOLVES!  Here’s how it would play out.  Old, slow Liam Neeson would take one swing at the quick and hungry wolves, he would miss, he’d be out of breath and the wolves would tear his throat out.

End of movie.  Liam Neeson, go back to starring in chick flicks like Love Actually.  You’re not an action star and it’s starting to get on my nerves.

2.) For those of you that are in Delaware, I implore you: Go check out the University of Delaware’s Women’s Basketball team.  Holy crap they are incredible!  Elena Delle Donne is ridiculous to watch in person, it’s like seeing the women’s basketball version of Magic Johnson.  She makes sweet no-look passes, blocks shots, hits three, has a great inside game, it’s remarkable. Last night she had 41 points, 15 rebounds and 5 assists.  Not too shabby.

And let’s not take away from the rest of the team, either.  They are STACKED!  In fact, as of this post, they are ranked #15 IN THE COUNTRY.  Delle Donne is the leading scorer IN THE COUNTRY!  How many times is this going to happen at UD?  If you haven’t seen a game yet, go and watch.  You will not be disappointed.

3.) To piggy back off the last point, I once had male a friend in high school who said that he could play in the WNBA.  He shall remain nameless (though, you neighborhood friends are sure to remember this claim) but let me just let him no this: There is no chance in hell that he could hang in the WNBA. After watching the women’s basketball game last night, not only was I thoroughly impressed but I was also re-assured that if I or any of my male friends tried to step on that floor we would’ve gotten DESTROYED by any player out there.  Forget the WNBA, women’s college athletics is no joke.

4.) How in the blue hell did Jonah Hill get nominated for an Academy Award for his performance in Money Ball?  Also, how did the Melissa McCarthy get nominated for Bridesmaids?  Have movies really gotten THAT bad? Don’t get me wrong, McCarthy was kinda funny in the movie, but she wasn’t THAT funny. And Hill, well, he didn’t really have to do much.

5.) The Raiders hired the Broncos DC for their head coach, and you know what?  I LOVE IT!  Of course, I also loved the hiring of Art Shell (it was college, don’t ask), Lane Kiffin (college again, and as has been documented here many times, my senior thesis was dedicated to Lane Kiffin and JaMarcus Russell who would return the Raiders to the glory days…which is probably the most hilarious and short-sighted thing I’ve ever done), loved Tom Cable being hired and loved the hiring of Hue Jackson.  So I mean, yeah, I’m probably not the best judge of Raiders head coaching candidates.

6.) You know, Lee Evans really should’ve held onto that touchdown, but if you go back and watch the tape (The word TAPE! That must mean it’s almost NFL Draft time!) it almost looks as if he didn’t get two but THREE feet down in the endzone before he loses the ball.  Just go back and watch it.  Here’s what COULD have happened (for the record, I am playing devil’s advocate cause I don’t think it was a catch): As soon as he catches the ball–and I mean for a SPLIT second–it looks like he has the ball AND his left foot is down, then his right foot gets down no questions asked, and then he MAYBE (but probably not) still has the ball as his right foot hits the ground again.  I’m not saying he caught it, but it definitely should’ve been reviewed.  Oh and also: I hate the Patriots.

7.) My pick for this year’s Royal Rumble winner?  Cody Rhodes!  At least, that is what I’m hoping for.  If Rhodes wins, it gives some new blood a chance and is better than a re-tread like Randy Orton winning (though, he probably will).

By the way, while we are talking about the WWE, can we talk about Brodus Clay?  The man may be the best thing the WWE has going for it.  For those of you who don’t know, Brodus Clay is this big fat ugly dude who they call “The Funkasaurus” who comes out in old red Run DMC Addidas suits, dances with two girls, rips them off and wrestles in a singlet. It sounds TERRIBLE, I know, but somehow, SOMEHOW it works. He also announces all his moves as he is doing them, so when he is about to suplex someone across the ring, he grabs them and yells “SUPLEX!” Which I think is really funny. He also yells “MY BAD!” Whenever he crushes someone with a move, which is also pretty funny.  Brodus Clay is a character that shouldn’t work, one that should be incredibly stupid, and yet somehow, he is awesome.  I predict that he will hold a title (not the world but maybe a U.S. or Intercontinental) before the year is out, after they do away with the “Funkasaurus” gimmick and make him into a scary, intimidating heel.

That’s all for me!  Until next time….


Great Rebounds in Cinematic History

November 7, 2011 Adam Thomas

1.) I watched “That Thing You Do” last weekend and even though it basically devoles into a skin-a-max movie in the last 5 minutes–Guy and Faye walk back into the hotel after making out on the street, and Guy says to Lemar, the magical hotel bell boy who loves his job (or does he own the hotel? He does call it “My hotel” but what hotel owner would also work as a bell boy?) “Watch my bags Lemar…”  Lemar smiles creepily into the camera and says, “That’s what I do!”–End of movie. So that’s what Lemar does? Watch people’s bags while they go get it on? What kind of hotel operation is that man running?  Ick.

By the way, Hanks is a huge Raiders fan (arn’t we all?) and so the pizza place where the Oneders play at the beginning is called “Villapianos” after Raiders great Phil Villapiano, and there was a deleted scene where Hanks’ character–who was supposed to be gay–gets picked up by his boyfriend and the boyfriend is played by none other than Raider legend and crew cut aficionado Howie Long!  Good stuff.  Anyway, I got side-tracked…

Now, it got me thinking. Is Guy grabbing Faye–who had been dating Jimmy, the lead singer, for two years prior to her street/hotel daliance with Guy–the greatest rebound in cinematic history?  Oh man, it’s a tough call.  I went to my memory for some others:

Guy and Faye–That Thing you Do (already mentioned above)

Victor Lazlo and Isla Lund–Casablanca (probably THE greatest rebound in cinematic history cause it helped defeat the Nazi’s and end WWII, while at the same time turning Rick into one of the greatest drunks of all time).

Victor the Meat Cutter and Jan–Beautiful Girls (Two Victors in a row!)

Preston Meyers and Amanda Beckett–Can’t Hardly Wait (Basically the whole movie is based on him trying to grab this board so he gets points for persitence…and acting slightly like a psycho killer).

Jerry Maguire and Dorthy Boyd–Jerry Maguire (Our first instance of a female grabbing a male rebound)

Hot Rod and Denise–Hot Rod (Babe, wait!  Babe Wait!  BAAAAAABBBBBBEEEE!)

Mike and Lorraine–Swingers (Simultaneous rebounds)

I was gonna add Jeff from the Max grabbing Kelly after she dated Zack, but I think she cheated on Zack with Jeff so…I don’t think that counts. Also, remember that guy Professor Jeremiah Lasky from the College years?  I have nothing to add to that other than, remember him?

If you can think of more movie rebounds, please post them in the comments section.

2.) The Rams need to go back to those sweet yellow and blue uniforms that they wore last weekend when they worked the Saints. The new gold and blue ones are gross.

3.) I’m not sure how I never heard about the whole “Like Bernie” dance craze until now (about a year later), but I plan to make up for lost time.  I’ve been Bernie-ing all weekend and plan to do so whenever I go somewhere to dance or hear conga drums.

4.) The saxophone at the end of M83’s song Midnight City might be the best thing going in music right now.  That part is INSANE!  And the new album is absolutely incredible, except for the song about frogs that makes me want to karate chop the little kid talking (or the voice actor playing a little kid talking) in the throat. “And den you become a frog…would you like to play wit me?”  Shut the F up!  How did that song make the final cut?

5.) Last night the number one college football team played the number two college football team (Alabama vs. LSU) and holy balls it was a great game.  9-6.  Unfortunately, these two won’t meet in the national title game, which is a shame because they are going to absolutely curb stomb a team like Stanford or Boise State.

And just for the record, I didn’t watch the whole game, but I flipped to it during commercials as me and the wife enjoyed “Beauty and the Beast” on ABC Family. Oof, that was a tough sentence to write.

As for the three team tease, I am 0-2 on the season and I hope you’ve learned not to follow my advice by now.  Anyway, we need to keep this mildly sports related so here it is!

ATL -6.5 at Indy

Seattle +11 at Dallas

Chicago +7.5 at Philly

Enjoy the games!


So Long and Thank You for the Lack of Memories Part 2

August 3, 2011 Adam Thomas

You know, when I was in 3rd grade, we had a big water gun fight at my elementary school.  I had a hold of a pretty solid Super Soaker 50.  I was lighting kids up left and right, all was well with the world.  But then I saw this sweet looking contraption lying on the ground: it was a HUGE water canon connected to a back pack that held an ungodly amount of water.

I threw down the Super Soaker, sprinted to the canon, put it on my back, strapped up and was ready to tear the roof off the sucka when all of a sudden something dawned on me: the back pack was empty. There was no water. I looked back and my Super Soaker was gone.  My gambit failed and I endured the wrath of running out of water at a water gun fight.

Why do I bring this up?  Because I feel like Zach Miller just traded in his nice Super Soaker 50 for a shiny looking water canon/backpack that is out of water.

Actually, scratch that.  Miller traded in his Super Soaker for a broken water balloon.

The Seahawks?  THE SEAHWAKS?  Are you F-ing kidding me!

This free agency period has left me pretty freakin’ disenfranchised with football players. Look, I poke fun at the Eagles for having never won a Super Bowl (which is true), but they do routinely make the playoffs, so I can understand Nnamdi wanting to play there.

The Seahwaks are a disgrace of an NFL franchise. They have never won a damn thing (yes I know, ONE super bowl appearance, congrats).

Here are some facts for ya:

Fact: Zach Miller made the pro-bowl one year (as an alternate) and it was last year when Hue Jackson was the Raiders Offensive Coordinator. Now that said Coordinator is head coach, Miller decides it’s time to leave. Makes sense.

Fact: The Raiders beat the Seahawks 33-3 last year. Yep, that seems like a team headed in the right direction. (By the way, in that win Miller put up a steller one catch for 8 yards.)

Fact: Tavaris Jackson…TAVARIS JACKSON is going to be throwing passes to Zach Miller, and when I say throwing passes, I mean throwing them into the dirt or directly into the back of an offensive linemen’s helmet.

Fact: Tight Ends grow on freaking trees.  I think I started three different TE’s last year in fantasy football and they all played for the Patriots. There is no shortage of good tight ends. And paying one who missed time last year with injuries (i.e. concussions) 17 million dollars does not make sense.

Fact: In all of the Raiders’ 8 wins last year, Zach Miller caught two TDs. Not exactly irreplaceable numbers.

Fact: Despite wall the doom and gloom pundits out there saying that Tom Cable is stealing all of Al Davis’ free agents, the Raiders had like 17 free agents this year and two of them went to the Seahawks.  One (Robert Gallery) will be injured by week 4 (he is ALWAYS injured) and the other will be playing shortstop for Tavaris Jackson’s passes.

Smart choice, guys.

Nnamdi, I forgive you.  Miller, you are dead to me.