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avatar 05/4/12 10:05 AM
Adam Thomas
25 Comments

Don’t Trust the Property Brothers

The title says it all: Do not trust these two sneaky Canadian magicians.  Let’s back up first. I think that it’s been chronicled here many times my love of HGTV.  I know this is a weird way to start off a “sports” blog, but I’ve been meaning to write about these two for quite some time. See, every Saturday morning, I have my 4 cups of coffee, have my bagels, and turn on HGTV to watch the “Property Brothers” show. And you know what I’ve decided?  I would not hire these guys.  Don’t get me wrong, they do good work, BUT they also do some pretty shady stuff such as:

1.) They start off the show, by taking the couple who they are working for to see a house that is almost always about $300,000 out of their price range.  So we at home get the joy of watching this couple fall in love with a place that could be their future dream home, only to watch that dream get CRUSHED when the brothers gleefully tell them, “Yeah…you can’t afford it.”

2.) They hit on the wife. Always. Without fail.

3.) They try to make the guy look like a chump in front of the wife. For example, they get the family to buy a crappy house (and by “crappy” we’re still talking about $400,000 homes here people), then they start the demolition process by handing the wife the sledge hammer and saying something like, “Have the first swing!” She does, they praise her.

Then they hand the hammer to the guy and no matter what he does, they say something like, “Oh man, that was weak. I think you better let your wife do the heavy lifting.”

4.) They set aside a “budget” to fix up the property but they always, ALWAYS, find something horribly wrong with the house that cuts the budget in half.  “Oops, sorry about this guys, but your house doesn’t have a roof.  But, that’s why we have the contingency money!”

5.) They played in the NBA all star celebrity basketball game…this is kind of a non sequitur, but I found it kind of funny.

6.) One of them–or possibly both–is a magician.  You know who else is a magician?  Mystery.  I don’t trust magicians.

Ok, well then, with that all out of the way, let’s get to some other topics:

1.) The best part of Jered Weaver’s no-hitter was when he was one out away from the no-hitter, they cut to the stands and show his parents, and his dad is just straight chillen, sipping on a beer like nothing out of the ordinary is happening. Talk about nerves of steel. It was also funny that he dashed to the bathroom and peed before the 9th inning, which is a supposed superstition of some kind. All I can say is that the urinal availability in professional baseball is perhaps the most appealing aspect of the sport. Remember when Joe Pa had to pee and he had to like sprint across the field to get back to the locker room in time before he peed his pants?  That must’ve been agony. Just put some urinals on the sideline and have Boomer and TJ do the halftime show behind them. “Teej…you know what they say. The Packers…hey…they don’t make em like the used to. We’ll be back with the blitz….after this.”

2.) So I went to bed on Wednesday with the Phillies up 4-0 on the Braves and Halladay on the mound and thought, “This game is over.” Cut to waking up in the morning and seeing the Braves won 15-13. Holy crap, Halladay got SHELLED! But still, Phillies took the series so no biggie.

3.) There is a music video out featuring Wooderson from Dazed and Confused. It is basically the scene where he walks into the Emporium flanked by Randall Pink Floyd and Mitch Kramer with Bob Dylan blaring through the stereo.  Well, the song for the video he was in is not very good. Rather disappointing, but it does have Wooderson playing the trumpet. Which, admittedly, is hilarious.

Alright alright alright.

That’s it for me.  I’m driving into Houston to pick up those Aerosmith tickets in the morning.


25 Comments

  • avatar
    The Pope

    who do those property brothers think they are lol dam canadian magicians haha

  • avatar
    Christy

    I had to pee after swimming at the Y with the boys last night. I was getting Finn changes out of his swim suit and he said “Mommy why does your face look like that?” Hahahahaha, BECAUSE MAMA HAS TO PEE!

  • avatar
    veronica

    I think your way off. They budget is actually what they have to work with, if something comes up its not there fault. Many houses are not new build so moat houses have moisture seeping through which is the most common problem. They try very hard not to go over the budget by any chance and drew will not let anyone pay over market price for a house. I watch this show every day I’m a big fan and have never seen drew or Jonathan flirt with the woman. They are easy fun loving and out going so a little joke about a sledge hammer OMG shoot them. They show their clients their million dollar dream home on purpose…to bring them back from cloud 9. People swear they will get a move in ready updated home for any budget, and that just isn’t the case. So all your hating is stupid and has no valid points.

  • avatar
    veronica

    Sorry auto text sucks!!

  • avatar
    Amir

    Sorry, but, um, your just simply an idiot. These homes are probably $400,000 because most of the episodes your watching were taped BEFORE the housing bubble collapsed. For someone who’s so critical of the show, you sure whatch it alot. I would give my left nut, to have those two come help me find a home. Too bad they are in Canada.

  • avatar
    steve

    Clearly you are not familar with renovations. I would say 9 times out of 10, something changes from the original plans, or something wrong is discovered in a home during reno, especially when buying an older home to fix up like majority of those are doing on the show. These guys do great work. And I think it is smart to show the couples the expensive homes, some of their clients are way too stubborn and the only way to make them learn is by showing them they cannot get what they want with their budgets.

    Magicians. Hahaha

  • avatar
    Joe

    You’re a moron. I’m not even going to try to explain to you why.

  • avatar
    J

    Wow. I cannot even begin to wonder how you came to this conclusion, and what else goes on in your life. You are so far off from factual information, it’s not even funny. This seriously makes me nervous, that you are allowed to coincide with us in society, because of the way you view life. You really, really, really need to take a step back and reconsider a lot of things in your life, and please, do not reproduce.

  • avatar
    The Wolfman

    Who knew the Property Brothers had such rabid fans?

  • avatar
    jen

    Haha wolf…I’m also a fan of Property Brothers and came to these posts while trying to find out how to hire them!

  • avatar
    William

    Most of your gripes are about their acting, which they have to do. It’s a TV show.

  • avatar
    Mike

    This was filmed in Toronto. Have you seen the prices of toronto houses?? $400,000 for a run down 100+ year old house is a great buy. I would never ever buy it myself, but for people who like it that price is a joke. You can’t even buy a small townhouse for $400,000

  • avatar
    Kelsey

    Boo on you! Property brothers are awesome.

  • avatar
    June

    I think the property brothers are just making a living and giving entertainment. They talk about making “the home special, just for the buyers”, but just about every home seems “cookie cutter”, they all need: open concept, high end appliances, hardwood floors and granite counter tops…really? aren’t there any other options available? What about the furniture? What if they wanted to bring their own because “they like their furniture”? just saying…

  • avatar
    John Madison

    I am one of the property brothers and I would like to say “Thank You” for mentioning us in your blog today. Most appreciated.
    Your content was interesting and amusing. Keep up the good work!

  • avatar
    Dan

    John, that’s awesome! How can I get you to help me and my expecting fiance to help us find and reno a home near Chicago?? To the guy who wrote this post: I just watched an episode about young a couple who’s budget was $225,000. How inspiring! I am even more impressed with the Bros to know that they can work miracles with any budget. I think these guys have great vision and know how to make people happy.

  • avatar
    CC

    I think you are way off base. It’s not often to find people willing to give you exactly what you want in a home for what you can afford. The property brothers do great work.I would love for them to find a house for my family when we are ready to downsize. They are fun guys and not hard on the eyes. LOL!

  • avatar
    Jackie

    I LOVE THE PROPERTY BROTHERS!!! THEIR AWESOME!!

  • avatar
    Carolyn Mobes

    Jealous! lol. They are tall hotties…you should feel inadequate

  • avatar
    Nancy

    The Property Brothers are awesome. You just shut up. Thank you.

  • avatar
    Balthazar the Grand

    the property brothers show uses the same formula week after week so you know they are going to show you a home you can’t afford. hitting on the wife is huge leap from reality. I have been in the real estate field since 1992. No one can set a complete budget without getting into the renovation, the chance a problem taking half the budget is very rare. these reality shows blow up minor issue to add drama, we are adults lets be realistic and leave the drama for kids. I was a Magician years ago now love it.

  • avatar
    Sheila

    I like the show. I think that most people that want a house they want the one that is way outside of their budget. I’m sure showing the couple a more expensive house is part of the show. If the couple is on the show they know who the property brothers are and what they are about. As far as them hitting on the wives….I think you’re wrong. I watch the show every weekend and I’ve never seen them be inappropriate. I’ve seen them joke around with both of the spouses. It does bug me that there seems to be a problem once they start demolition, but you find issues sometime when doing demolition on a house that you wouldn’t find otherwise.

  • avatar
    Tresa

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  • avatar
    CONTESSA

    I watch the Property Brothers all the time, it’s a my favorite show! They have never been inappropriate with the wives on the show, they make themselves to the couple as a whole. They show the couple the homes they can’t afford to make a point about what they can get with their set budget. Any home that you do renovations on will come with issues because you don’t know what’s behind the walls or even if the work was done correctly. Your just a hater and you need some professional help!!!!

  • avatar
    JLFH

    The property brothers are amazing.

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