Don’t Trust the Property Brothers

The title says it all: Do not trust these two sneaky Canadian magicians.  Let’s back up first. I think that it’s been chronicled here many times my love of HGTV.  I know this is a weird way to start off a “sports” blog, but I’ve been meaning to write about these two for quite some time. See, every Saturday morning, I have my 4 cups of coffee, have my bagels, and turn on HGTV to watch the “Property Brothers” show. And you know what I’ve decided?  I would not hire these guys.  Don’t get me wrong, they do good work, BUT they also do some pretty shady stuff such as:

1.) They start off the show, by taking the couple who they are working for to see a house that is almost always about $300,000 out of their price range.  So we at home get the joy of watching this couple fall in love with a place that could be their future dream home, only to watch that dream get CRUSHED when the brothers gleefully tell them, “Yeah…you can’t afford it.”

2.) They hit on the wife. Always. Without fail.

3.) They try to make the guy look like a chump in front of the wife. For example, they get the family to buy a crappy house (and by “crappy” we’re still talking about $400,000 homes here people), then they start the demolition process by handing the wife the sledge hammer and saying something like, “Have the first swing!” She does, they praise her.

Then they hand the hammer to the guy and no matter what he does, they say something like, “Oh man, that was weak. I think you better let your wife do the heavy lifting.”

4.) They set aside a “budget” to fix up the property but they always, ALWAYS, find something horribly wrong with the house that cuts the budget in half.  “Oops, sorry about this guys, but your house doesn’t have a roof.  But, that’s why we have the contingency money!”

5.) They played in the NBA all star celebrity basketball game…this is kind of a non sequitur, but I found it kind of funny.

6.) One of them–or possibly both–is a magician.  You know who else is a magician?  Mystery.  I don’t trust magicians.

Ok, well then, with that all out of the way, let’s get to some other topics:

1.) The best part of Jered Weaver’s no-hitter was when he was one out away from the no-hitter, they cut to the stands and show his parents, and his dad is just straight chillen, sipping on a beer like nothing out of the ordinary is happening. Talk about nerves of steel. It was also funny that he dashed to the bathroom and peed before the 9th inning, which is a supposed superstition of some kind. All I can say is that the urinal availability in professional baseball is perhaps the most appealing aspect of the sport. Remember when Joe Pa had to pee and he had to like sprint across the field to get back to the locker room in time before he peed his pants?  That must’ve been agony. Just put some urinals on the sideline and have Boomer and TJ do the halftime show behind them. “Teej…you know what they say. The Packers…hey…they don’t make em like the used to. We’ll be back with the blitz….after this.”

2.) So I went to bed on Wednesday with the Phillies up 4-0 on the Braves and Halladay on the mound and thought, “This game is over.” Cut to waking up in the morning and seeing the Braves won 15-13. Holy crap, Halladay got SHELLED! But still, Phillies took the series so no biggie.

3.) There is a music video out featuring Wooderson from Dazed and Confused. It is basically the scene where he walks into the Emporium flanked by Randall Pink Floyd and Mitch Kramer with Bob Dylan blaring through the stereo.  Well, the song for the video he was in is not very good. Rather disappointing, but it does have Wooderson playing the trumpet. Which, admittedly, is hilarious.

Alright alright alright.

That’s it for me.  I’m driving into Houston to pick up those Aerosmith tickets in the morning.

31 Comments

  • this is for the person who said the brothers are shady, and fo not represent an truthful facade.
    Please keep in mind that it is a show and everything is staged…duh !!!! The potential buyers are made aware of everything that will come to pass on that show….from the onset. Get it????
    These guys are great…entertaining as all heck. Do, go back to drowning yourself in your cups of coffee and stuff your face with bagels. How much do you weigh?

    This is for the buyer Luca , you know, Drew…..the guy whose sister’s name is Barbara?
    Luca….senti a me. Lascia questa cretina di donna. Ma perche’ non ti hai trovato una bella ragazza italiana? Siete cosi’ diversi…..deve vincere tutto essa. Non solo, e’ anche purtroppo bruttina e antipatica.
    Prima di fare un grave sbaglio….” lasciala, sent’a me, ca nu ne cosa.”…
    Ciao.

  • i luv the property brothers and theyre really hot dudes

  • i disagree with all that u r saying! it seems that most people do too! i really like the property brothers and i really want to hire them but i dont know how! if anyone knows how, u can email me at tia3702@gmail.com

  • Hmmm….I want to know who the home inspector is…some of those houses look like they need more work than what the Bros say. I am truly disappointed. Superficial fixes never work out. I feel sorry for the uniformed buyer. If you are going to buy…get your own inspector. .make a list of what you want to check out…get a second opinion. Spend the day looking…what is one day compared to months of shoulda…woulda…and money out the window….I rather rest and have a glass of wine. been there…done that…good luck folks :)

  • I think you are a bit simple minded and don’t think outside of the box. The reason they show them those homes is to show them that they can do all of that withen their budget. You don’t need to spend a bundle of cash to get something for less and they prove that they can do that. You have to also remember that this is a TV show so they also have to follow what the directors want them to do and that’s the pattern that works to keep the show rolling. It’s reality but not in a reality sense of what they do off TV.

  • This show does follow that same pattern on every episode. The reason they show buyers a complete home is 1) to prove they can’t afford a house that has every single feature they want, these days, very few people can. 2) The idea is to get people to think outside of the box. They can have the perfect home and they do not have to spend a fortune on it. 3) Although fixer uppers are risky. They allow freedom to make it your own. You can redesign and reset things to make it 100 times better… The buyers know that the entire point of the show is to get them into a fixer upper that has been created in their image. Renovations are always difficult because you only see things at face value when you are looking at them. Unfortunately when you start breaking down walls and looking at the “bones” of the house; that is when you run into the real issues. It is always a gamble, but the property brothers do an amazing job and I think they are fair about every issue of the experience. I can’t imagine what it would be like working for some of the people on this show. They want what they want even if it isn’t reasonable…. John and Drew make it happen the best way they can!

  • You forgot some like, dates their boss Lindsey when busted he lies, then few days latter goes on dates, she even boasts about it… He then flirts with other girls(player)and they kiss up to celebrities none stop, complain of no time off yet are seen partying, posting golf images, trips, etc…

  • The property brothers are amazing.

  • I watch the Property Brothers all the time, it’s a my favorite show! They have never been inappropriate with the wives on the show, they make themselves to the couple as a whole. They show the couple the homes they can’t afford to make a point about what they can get with their set budget. Any home that you do renovations on will come with issues because you don’t know what’s behind the walls or even if the work was done correctly. Your just a hater and you need some professional help!!!!

  • I like the show. I think that most people that want a house they want the one that is way outside of their budget. I’m sure showing the couple a more expensive house is part of the show. If the couple is on the show they know who the property brothers are and what they are about. As far as them hitting on the wives….I think you’re wrong. I watch the show every weekend and I’ve never seen them be inappropriate. I’ve seen them joke around with both of the spouses. It does bug me that there seems to be a problem once they start demolition, but you find issues sometime when doing demolition on a house that you wouldn’t find otherwise.

  • the property brothers show uses the same formula week after week so you know they are going to show you a home you can’t afford. hitting on the wife is huge leap from reality. I have been in the real estate field since 1992. No one can set a complete budget without getting into the renovation, the chance a problem taking half the budget is very rare. these reality shows blow up minor issue to add drama, we are adults lets be realistic and leave the drama for kids. I was a Magician years ago now love it.

  • The Property Brothers are awesome. You just shut up. Thank you.

  • Jealous! lol. They are tall hotties…you should feel inadequate

  • I LOVE THE PROPERTY BROTHERS!!! THEIR AWESOME!!

  • I think you are way off base. It’s not often to find people willing to give you exactly what you want in a home for what you can afford. The property brothers do great work.I would love for them to find a house for my family when we are ready to downsize. They are fun guys and not hard on the eyes. LOL!

  • John, that’s awesome! How can I get you to help me and my expecting fiance to help us find and reno a home near Chicago?? To the guy who wrote this post: I just watched an episode about young a couple who’s budget was $225,000. How inspiring! I am even more impressed with the Bros to know that they can work miracles with any budget. I think these guys have great vision and know how to make people happy.

  • I am one of the property brothers and I would like to say “Thank You” for mentioning us in your blog today. Most appreciated.
    Your content was interesting and amusing. Keep up the good work!

  • I think the property brothers are just making a living and giving entertainment. They talk about making “the home special, just for the buyers”, but just about every home seems “cookie cutter”, they all need: open concept, high end appliances, hardwood floors and granite counter tops…really? aren’t there any other options available? What about the furniture? What if they wanted to bring their own because “they like their furniture”? just saying…

  • Boo on you! Property brothers are awesome.

  • This was filmed in Toronto. Have you seen the prices of toronto houses?? $400,000 for a run down 100+ year old house is a great buy. I would never ever buy it myself, but for people who like it that price is a joke. You can’t even buy a small townhouse for $400,000

  • Most of your gripes are about their acting, which they have to do. It’s a TV show.

  • Haha wolf…I’m also a fan of Property Brothers and came to these posts while trying to find out how to hire them!

  • Who knew the Property Brothers had such rabid fans?

  • Wow. I cannot even begin to wonder how you came to this conclusion, and what else goes on in your life. You are so far off from factual information, it’s not even funny. This seriously makes me nervous, that you are allowed to coincide with us in society, because of the way you view life. You really, really, really need to take a step back and reconsider a lot of things in your life, and please, do not reproduce.

  • You’re a moron. I’m not even going to try to explain to you why.

  • Clearly you are not familar with renovations. I would say 9 times out of 10, something changes from the original plans, or something wrong is discovered in a home during reno, especially when buying an older home to fix up like majority of those are doing on the show. These guys do great work. And I think it is smart to show the couples the expensive homes, some of their clients are way too stubborn and the only way to make them learn is by showing them they cannot get what they want with their budgets.

    Magicians. Hahaha

  • Sorry, but, um, your just simply an idiot. These homes are probably $400,000 because most of the episodes your watching were taped BEFORE the housing bubble collapsed. For someone who’s so critical of the show, you sure whatch it alot. I would give my left nut, to have those two come help me find a home. Too bad they are in Canada.

  • Sorry auto text sucks!!

  • I think your way off. They budget is actually what they have to work with, if something comes up its not there fault. Many houses are not new build so moat houses have moisture seeping through which is the most common problem. They try very hard not to go over the budget by any chance and drew will not let anyone pay over market price for a house. I watch this show every day I’m a big fan and have never seen drew or Jonathan flirt with the woman. They are easy fun loving and out going so a little joke about a sledge hammer OMG shoot them. They show their clients their million dollar dream home on purpose…to bring them back from cloud 9. People swear they will get a move in ready updated home for any budget, and that just isn’t the case. So all your hating is stupid and has no valid points.

  • I had to pee after swimming at the Y with the boys last night. I was getting Finn changes out of his swim suit and he said “Mommy why does your face look like that?” Hahahahaha, BECAUSE MAMA HAS TO PEE!

  • who do those property brothers think they are lol dam canadian magicians haha

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