Wow, it’s been a crazy weekend. Lebronathon is coming to a close now that he has officially announced his new team and pissed everyone but Miamians off. The World Cup Finals were played yesterday, Spain outdiving the Netherlands, and the MLB All-Star break has officially started.
I’m not going to talk about Lebron, mostly due to the fact that everyone else already has, and I think my partner summed it up about as well as one could. I will say this though: Lebron, get your ass a speech coach man. Your were mumbling and stumbling all over the place. Even your big official announcement sentence had pauses and stutters. That ain’t ballin’ son…. that ain’t ballin’ indeed.
Aside from the media circus that was, the Phillies decided to host a circus of their own, having 3 extra-inning walk off wins, and a sweep of the Reds. It’s a nice way to enter the All-Star break (47-40) as baseball takes a pause from the daily grind.
Baseball is like the long-term relationship where you are constantly guilty of taking the significant other for granted, but totally miss them when they’re gone. Baseball seems like it’s always on, and makes for great background noise, but we all know if you had a chance, you’d bang football much more often. They seem more exciting, but clearly won’t give you the long term love and support baseball does. Football is just for sex, which is why I’ve patended a new sexual position called the ‘Jerry Jones.’
So, if the MLB was a relationship, then this is the fun vacation getaway. The point where you and baseball try to spice up your marriage. The Home-Run Derby starts tonight with some pretty good names, but sadly, no Phillies. No Chase Utley to talk shit on LA fans. Still, the show must go on, and if I had to pick a winner, I’d go with Hanley Ramirez. He has the least amount of HRs going into the derby with 13, so my pick has pure logic behind it. It’s NOT going to be Matt Holiday with 26 total homers. NOT.
Soccer, your foreign lover, is going to end it’s very sweet and sensual affair that only comes but once every four years. The World Cup has ended, and your ultimate victor is Spain. They only scored 8 goals the entire elimination round, which usually doesn’t add up to an exciting final, but they definately kept it interesting. I was very surprised at how well these two teams actually matched up. At first I thought Spain would just be a dominate force the entire match, and although they did handle possession better, the Netherlands had a pretty good defense for Spain’s attacks, and had a pretty good amount of shots on goal as well.
Since I’m a FIFA 2010 whore for the PS3, I always go to the Match Facts. Spain, although having more shots total, only had 4 shots on goal. How many did the Netherlands have? 4. During the match I remember my feelings changing from “Oh wow these teams are pretty evenly matched” to “Oh man this is totally going to turn into a game where someone is going to sneak a goal in the last minutes after an incredibly even power struggle, and I will feel unfulfilled.” Boy was I right. Spain ended up faking more injuries and eventually all the yellow cards caught up to the Dutch. It was bland, it was expected, and I’m not feeling satisfied. It’s almost funny to think that our style of soccer play (US) represents our media and sports expectations, in that it’s very hectic and nail-biting. Maybe I’m just a piece of shit American and I can’t see the glory in this…
Either way, I’m about to Jerry Jones this bitch, so I gotta roll…. until next time…
This post was written by Randy Neil