Man, you leave for a week and oh how the sports world has changed! Just kidding, everything is pretty much the same. So let’s get into it, shall we?
1.) The Phillies re-signed Cole Hamels while I was away, which I would be ok with if they didn’t already have 100,000,000,000 dollars tied up in their other two pitchers (one of whom has exactly one win all season). So all I will say is if they don’t trade Cliff Lee today, than signing Hamels was a stupid move. Amaro should’ve learned that it doesn’t pay to overspend on pitching and have to rely on the likes of Juan Pierre, Ty Wiggington and John “Stanford Educated” Mayberry for your offense.
2.) Dwight Howard is still on the Magic and is still an idiot.
3.) Olympic parents are still verrrry scary folks. Last night I was watching gymnastics with Stefanie and holy cow, they cut to two parents of one of the participants and they looked like rabid werewolves convulsing over a bloodied rabbit carcuss. Seriously, I was scared what would happen to the Olympian if she didn‘t do her routine to perfection.
4.) Speaking of creepers in gymnastics, how creepy is that Bela Karolyi character? He’s been coaching women’s gymnastics for like 40 years. How in the world did an out of shape 60 year old man become the expert on women’s gymnastics? It boggles the mind.
5.) The most annoying part about the Olympics has got to be the announcers. We watched swimming and gymnastics yesterday and the announcers in both were terrible.
One announcer during swimming said that one of the winners “came out of nowhere, I had no idea who she was.” HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE? There are only 8 swimmers in each race so…how can you not have information on 8 people? I mean, I was shocked that he said that: “I know it’s my job to know who these people are…but I have no idea who just won. What’s her name again?”
Then, during the gymnastics, the announcer said about 1,000 times “There is virtually no way that the United States doesn’t go through to the next round.” Jeez, spoiler alert! If the U.S. is definitely going through, than why on earth should we keep watching? I’m sure his bosses loved that.
6.) Moving on to the other Olympians of the world, WWE celebrated it’s 1000th episode while I was away and all you need to know about it is that it featured a cameo by the Hand (literally a man in a hand suit) that Mae Young gave birth to on an episode about 11 years ago. I remember watching the “hand birth” when I was 14 or 15 and thinking it was the funniest thing ever. Now, at the age of 27…I have the same opinion. COMIC GOLD!
7.) I finally watched “Glengarry Glen Ross” last night and let me tell you, it was definitely worth the wait. If you haven’t seen it yet, go check it out. I will warn you though, they drop an “F” bomb every two seconds and say the word “leads” about every other word. Still, it’s incredible, and Alec Baldwin’s speech (which has been talked about on here before) is the greatest thing ever. If you haven’t seen it yet, go check it out on youtube.
Alright, that’s it for me. I’ll be back on Friday. Until then…
This post was written by Adam Thomas