If you haven’t seen The Cabin in the Woods movie, do yourself a favor and check it out. Like Thor, which I wrote about a while back–and which also coincidentally stars Chris Hemsworth–it is the perfect 3 star movie.
But be warned before you check it out: it’s not really a horror movie. It’s more in the vein of Scream, a kind of half scary, half funny movie (although it may even be 75% funny, 25% scary.)
The stars of the show are Richard Jenkins (who is awesome in everything, especially as one of the dad’s playing poker in Outside Providence), and Bradley Whitford (the villain from Billy Madison). They absolutely kill it, no pun intended.
I wish I could say more, but it’d be tough without spoiling the movie. And while you may think you know what’s going to happen based on the trailers, the movie does take an unexpected turn…or 7. I will say this though, the movie features the most hysterical Merman reference ever, perhaps even funnier than Zoolander.
On to the picks! Home teams are in bold, my pick is the team on the left.
Bears -7.5 over the Rams. I’m sticking to my first rule of picks which is do the opposite of whatever Simmons says, and he was all over the Rams nuts on his podcast. “Are we sure that the Rams arn’t better than the Bears?” Yes. Yes we are.
Bucs +7.5 over the Cowboys
49ers -7.5 over Minnesota
Tennessee +3.5 over Detroit. I’m not ready to give up on the Titans just yet.
Washington -3.5 over Cincinnati
Miami +2.5 over NY Jets. How funny was that clip of Tebow coming in on punt coverage and getting pushed all the way back to the point where he almost got knocked over into the punter? It is fun to watch that guy fail, I don’t know why. Oh yeah, maybe cause he is a self righteous prick who hasn’t ruled out a political career. Please, make it stop!
New Orleans -9.5 over Kansas City
Buffalo -2.5 over Cleveland
Indianapolis -3.5 over Jacksonville
Arizona +4.5 over Philly
Atlanta +3.5 over San Diego
Houston -1.5 at Denver
Pittsburgh -4.5 over Oakland. It is weird that Pitt is only -4.5 and Detroit is only -3.5, it makes me feel like one of these two games will be an upset. You all know which one I’d prefer.
Baltimore -3.5 over New England
Seattle +3.5 over Green Bay
Ok, now, here is my 3 team parlay for Delaware Park:
49ers -7.5, Houston -1.5, Indianapolis -3.5
This post was written by Adam Thomas