Tag Archive: wilmington blue rocks

Random Thoughts: Eat your Damn Oatmeal!

June 24, 2011 Adam Thomas

1.) I had oatmeal for breakfast this morning.  This was a mistake.  Oatmeal is not a meal.  It’s what horses eat.  Well, the oats part at least.  But hey, like the picture says, “Eat your damn Oatmeal!”

Quick aside: Did anyone ever catch that SNL skit with John Goodman as Wilford Brimley?  All you need to know is that he sat on a horse and said things like this:

“When I said I watch my diet, I guess I mean I watch the minivan from Buddy’s Barbecue pull up and unload about $200 worth of pork ribs onto my driveway. While I stand in the doorway hiding my food boner in my Bermuda shorts.”

2.) Welcome to the Sixers, Nikola Vucevic!  Man, I always knew I wanted to clone Spencer Hawes.  Every time I saw  Hawes out on the court I thought, “Man…if only we had TWO of him!”

Good lord, the Sixers should run a clinic on how to be completely average in every way.

3.) Speaking of average, Iguodala has not yet been traded, but he will be soon. I hope.  Look, the Sixers need to get a shooter.  Monte Ellis can shoot.  The Warriors need a defender. Iggy can defend.  It makes sense. Do it.  And yes, these short sentences directly correspond to my incredible hunger.

4.) I went to a Blue Rocks game yesterday and oh my goodness what a game it was.  The Blue Rocks scored 8 runs in one inning, which nearly gave Mr. Celery a heart attack. It was also 90’s night so they had Wayne, Garth and Waldo (of “Where’s” fame) running around the crowd.

Let me say this about the Blue Rocks: Scoff all you want at the games (at times, you may never see worse defense played in your life) but it is a genuinely fun time.

Also, to totally contradict what I just wrote, last night the Blue Rocks’ 3rd baseman made the greatest defensive play I’ve ever seen live in my life.  A player on the other team hit a SHOT down the third base line in the top of the 9th (when the Rocks were threatening to somehow give up their 6 run lead) and the third basemen sprang like a feral cat, dove, back handed the ball, got up to his knee and gunned the runner out at first.  He got a raucous applause from the crowd.

Also, kudos to the Blue Rocks catcher (named, Bonilla I think) because the pitchers were bouncing balls before they reached home plate all night long and he knocked them all down.  He was doo-doo with the bat, though, which may hinder his shot at the bigs.

5.) I’m reading The Last Stand by Nathaniel Philbrick and if anyone is looking for some interesting historical book to read, look no further!  This man is an incredible writer and reading about Custer will make you want to hit your head with the heel of your hand and shake it in disbelief about 10 times per page. What a moron!

The book starts out with Custer on his horse chasing down a buffalo, he has a great opportunity to shoot the buffalo, puts the gun to the beast’s head and decides, “Nah, this is too much fun, I’ll give him a little bit longer.”

So he doesn’t shoot.  The buffalo turns and leans in towards the horse, which scares it to no end, the horse rears up and instead of shooting the buffalo, Custer accidentally shoots and kills his own horse.  He is thrown from his saddle, gets up and looks at the buffalo who just kinda looks at him like, “stupid human” and then walks away.  Custer is now stranded deep in Indian territory with no horse and only his dogs to get him back to his troops.

If that isn’t the best allegory to sum up a man’s life, than I don’t know what is.

6.) I laughed hysterically when I read about the end of that show “The Killing.” Since I don’t have TV (I may have mentioned this 10000 times before), I had only been reading the AV club summaries to see who the killer was.  AND THEN THEY DIDN’T EVEN REVEAL WHO THE KILLER WAS! Haha, so funny. That show sounded like it sucked on so many levels, and if you want a good laugh, you need to read an interview by the show runner who sounds so delusional that it is almost sad to read. It’s like a parent who says their kid is an honors student, but is in actuality, the dumbest kid in school.

Anyway, that’s it for me.

Go Blue Rocks!


Everybody Likes Rodeo Monkeys

June 15, 2011 Randy Neil

Including this guy right here. Adam has a bachelor party coming up, and the game plan is to play paintball and then hit a Blue Rocks game at night. If you aren’t familiar with the Wilmington Blue Rocks, they are a Single-A farm team for the Kansas City Royals based in Delaware. They are literally the only team Delaware has.

The other day on my way to Philadelphia, I rode by Frawley Stadium which is directly next to the interstate. The Blue Rocks were playing, it was mid-game, and there was no one, I MEAN NO ONE, in the stands. There was a small family of 7-8 directly behind home plate it looked like, and then rows and rows of vacant seats. I’m not even exaggerating… there were literally more people playing on the field than there were in the stands. I bet the food vendors had a great time that night.

The reason I bring this up is because during the 7th inning stretch (or end of the game, not sure) that we’re attending, the Blue Rocks are featuring a circus act of monkeys that ride dogs with little cowboy hats and they herd sheep. Tell me that isn’t the most ballin’ thing you’ve ever heard in your life!! Little monkeys with lil’ spurs, lil’ boots, lil’ vests and lassos, rounding up the varmints in this town! It will be the highlight of the night for sure, aside from the awesome display I will put on in paintball (mind you, I’ve never played paintball in my life, but I play Call of Duty, so it’s practically the same thing.)

The sports highlight of the week clearly has to be the mental breakdown of King James in the NBA Finals. Even with his constant denial and ducking of questions regarding his mental toughness, it’s apparent to even the dumbest of analysts that Lebron James buckled under the pressure. Then, he digs a deeper hole with that comment, “All the people that was rooting on me to fail, at the end of the day they have to wake up tomorrow and have the same life that they had before they woke up today.” To the average person, that sounds like this, “Fuck ya’ll. I’m still paid.” People didn’t take it too well, so for the next 4-5 months he’ll be on a huge PR campaign to salvage the mess that’s been made.

One thing that I feel is being overlooked here is Chris Bosh. I know I talk a lot of garbage on the man, but during the finals, he seemed to be the only composed Miami Heat player of the big 3, and the entire team for that matter. Keep in mind this is his first trip the NBA Finals (or more than 1 round of the playoffs) and he did his job. He kept quiet, played good, and made shots. Dwayne Wade was making errors and losing possession, Lebron James was looking hesitant and timid, and a midst it all, Bosh was the only one putting up solid numbers and composing himself. He played horrible defense, true, but it was on Dirk Nowitzki for pete’s sake.

There was a moment during Game 6 in the first half where Udonis Haslem (I can’t believe I got that right on the first try) and someone on the Mavericks were about to scuffle. Benches were clearing and Mario Chalmers came running over to add fuel to the fire. If you happen to see that again, watch Chris Bosh. He basically grabs Chalmers by his jersey and man-handles him back towards the bench. It was the scariest I’ve ever seen Bosh in my life.

The Finals were great though. It definitely delivered more than years past in terms of excitement and competition. The NHL Finals are delivering as well. Game 7 is set to take place tonight, and it’s an epic setting. A goalie that’s 1000 times better at home gets his largest test in front of his home crowd. A Canadian team has a chance to win the Cup in Canada for the first time in 15 years. The Bruins have a chance to win their first Stanley Cup in over 60 years. It’s riveting stuff. At some point, during the Phils game, I will flip over to see what’s happening, and that says a lot.

The 2011 U.S. Open is set to start this weekend. Tiger Woods is already out, so the media is scrambling to find something compelling for this competition (and they aren’t finding much.) It takes place at Congressional in Washington, D.C. I had a chance to play there once. My friend knows a friend, who knows a friend, who’s a member, or something like that, and he gave me an invitation. Me : “How much are the greens’ fees?” Him : “About $375.” Me : “No thanks.” Golf doesn’t mean that much to me, yet. Maybe when I’m forty years old and golf truly is a physical sport to me at that point, I’ll show $400 worth of appreciation. And don’t jump down my throat, I’m not saying golf isn’t physical. It is. It’s an incredibly demanding physical activity, but I got other sports that demand more, and they’re free.

I never had a chance to touch on this, but did anyone see that Tiger Woods interview on ESPN about 2 months ago? Very directly, Woods was asked, “Who do you think is the best golfer in the world?” Tiger pauses for a few seconds, and then says, “When I got my swing dialed in….” and smiles. Then he just stares for a few more awkward seconds. “So you? Are you saying you?” asks the interviewer. Then he just smiles again, tips his head, and stares blankly for about ten seconds without saying a word. What an awkward exchange! Just say, “Me.” I wanted to turn the TV off because I felt so uncomfortable. It felt like date-rape.

There’s absolutely nothing new to report in the world of baseball, because the Phillies are on top and going strong as usual. We fucking rock. End of story. Be sure to catch the Stanley Cup Finals Game 7 tonight, in between the Phils’ commercials. While you’re at it, go out and support your local Single-A baseball team, even if they are for the Royals and have nothing at all to do with the Phillies. You might see some rodeo monkeys.

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