You know, every time that I tell someone I was born on Christmas, they give me this consolling face and they’re like, “Aw, I’m so sorry. You must get shorted on presents.” And then I always have to explain that no, in fact, it was just the opposite because I am so very lucky to have a family that SPOILED ME ROTTEN with presents. It always makes me feel like a jerk, but hey, who the heck are you telling me that it sucks to be born on Christmas? You know who else was born on Christmas? Ricky Henderson. Yeah. And he turned out ok. Anyway, on to the numbers!
1.) Best Christmas album? The Muppets and John Denver. Especially hillarious when Ms. Piggy thinks they are saying “Bring us some PIGGY pudding instead of “FIGGY pudding.” Good stuff.
Runner up would have to be Amy Grant’s “A Christmas Album.” Not only is the album incredibly dated with 80s synths bounding through the tracks like reindeer, but there is this one song “Love Has Come” that might have the most hilarious moment in recorded history. So she gets through the chorus fine, and is about to go into the chorus for a second time when out of NOWHERE this background singer–who must’ve forgot that he’s recording with Amy Grant and not REO Speedwagon–just absolutely BELLOWS out the words “DON’T YOU KNOW THAT!!!!” I have to rewind the tape every time I hear it. Also, when he does it for the last time, his voice cracks like nobody’s business and he just says “Don’t you know!!!!!!!!” And he sounds like a wounded Rottweiller howling at the moon. Good stuff.
2.) Best Christmas movie? The original Grinch, not that Jim Carey nonsense. And who cares if the Grinch wears no pants and breaks into Who homes and takes all their stuff. The best part of that movie is when he plays pool with the Christmas ornaments.
Runner up is Home Alone. The movie that taught us that it’s ok to fight off grown men when they come to rob your house. In real life, Culkin just gets shot or crow barred to the face, right?
3.) Stef and I watched The Family Stone the other night, and you know what? Don’t ever watch that movie. The Family Stone are a bunch of assholes.
4.) My bold NFL Prediction for the week is this: The Dolphins beat the Raiders, then Denver beats Minnesota, then we have to endure an entire week of the Tebow love fest (will someone just go for his knees already?), only to have the Raiders beat Green Bay and end their undfeated streak the next week and Denver lose to whoever they are playing. Take it to the bank.
5.) I watched the Houston college football game yesterday and anyone who thought that they should’e been playing for the national championship just because they were undefeated is deusional as all get out. That team would get MURDERED by LSU. I’d like to see Oklahoma State get a chance at LSU, but lets face it, the only team with a real shot at taking down the Honey Badger and company is Alabama.
6.) Kentucky played UNC yesterday and it was AWESOME! Especially the end, where a UK player blocked a shot with 5 seconds left, and instead of fouling, UNC just gave up. Can all UK games end like this please?
7.) Screw you Jimmy Graham and Drew Brees! I was up by 49 pts in a $50 buy-in fantasy league before they played on Monday night, and then I wake up at midnight to see how they did and WHAT THE HELL! Brees threw 5 TDs and 2 of those were to Graham! I didn’t even need to check the score, I knew I was beaten. So farewell $50 league, luckily I still have another and then Randy’s league where I need to win to make the playoffs. Fingers crossed!
Three team tease for this week:
KC +7 at Chicago
Carolina +2 at Tampa Bay
Denver -1 at Minnesota