Tag Archive: Tim tebow

Ladies and Gentlemen, I Present –

December 19, 2012 thewolfman

The Jets

The Jets have to be the most stubborn and stupid football organization on the planet right now. You have arguably one of the most popular football players on your team, you are OUT of the playoffs, and yet you announce that you are going to start your third string quarterback instead. Well congratulations Jets, you just made me feel sorry for Tim Tebow – and I honestly did not think that was even possible.

(Maybe I am just feeling sentimental since according to my father’s meticulous research and Ancestry.com we may be related. Keep your head up Cousin Timmy!)

Look, I am pretty stubborn. In Vanuatu they have a saying in Bislama for folks like me – Strong Head. I hate to be wrong, but what I hate more than being wrong is admitting I’m wrong. Sometimes, however, you just have to do it. Once you sail your ship into the rocks there is no point in keeping up the sails.

Why even have Tebow on your team if you were never going to use him? Sell a few jerseys? You would sell a LOT more if you let him run around on the field a bit.

But I digress.

Dwight Howard 

Let’s rant about another one of my favorite subjects for a bit – Dwight Howard. Our friend Dwight is of course a horrendous free throw shooter. Our friend Steve Nash is, of course, an immaculate free throw shooter. So one would expect that if Steve Nash offered to help Dwight Howard shoot free throws, he would welcome that advice with open arms, right? Right Dwight? Dwight really? Come in Dwight…

Here is the quote from ESPN:

Toward the end of shootaround Friday, Los Angeles Lakers guard Steve Nash approached Dwight Howard and offered up a couple of tips on how to shoot free throws.

Though Howard is shooting just 46.9 percent from the foul line this season while Nash is tied with Mark Price for the best free throw percentage in NBA history at 90.4 percent, the Lakers center said that he’s had enough of people giving him advice.

“Listen, he was just suggesting some things but it’s not something that we’ve already talked about or anybody else has suggested,” Howard said. “My mind cannot get clouded with everybody telling me how to shoot a free throw. I just have to go up there and shoot it my way and not get caught up in what everybody else is saying, because that’s when I miss.”

We wouldn’t want that mind to get too clouded now would we? Seriously, that ESPN article sounds like something from the Onion.

Till next time.

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It’s Christmas Time!

December 4, 2011 Adam Thomas

It’s the most wonderful time of the year.  You know why?  A.) Because it’s Christmas.  B.) Because it’s my birthday.  BOOM!  Double whammy.

You know, every time that I tell someone I was born on Christmas, they give me this consolling face and they’re like, “Aw, I’m so sorry. You must get shorted on presents.”  And then I always have to explain that no, in fact, it was just the opposite because I am so very lucky to have a family that SPOILED ME ROTTEN with presents. It always makes me feel like a jerk, but hey, who the heck are you telling me that it sucks to be born on Christmas?  You know who else was born on Christmas?  Ricky Henderson.  Yeah.  And he turned out ok.  Anyway, on to the numbers!

1.) Best Christmas album?  The Muppets and John Denver.  Especially hillarious when Ms. Piggy thinks they are saying “Bring us some PIGGY pudding instead of “FIGGY pudding.”  Good stuff.

Runner up would have to be Amy Grant’s “A Christmas Album.”  Not only is the album incredibly dated with 80s synths bounding through the tracks like reindeer, but there is this one song “Love Has Come” that might have the most hilarious moment in recorded history.  So she gets through the chorus fine, and is about to go into the chorus for a second time when out of NOWHERE this background singer–who must’ve forgot that he’s recording with Amy Grant and not REO Speedwagon–just absolutely BELLOWS out the words “DON’T YOU KNOW THAT!!!!” I have to rewind the tape every time I hear it.  Also, when he does it for the last time, his voice cracks like nobody’s business and he just says “Don’t you know!!!!!!!!” And he sounds like a wounded Rottweiller howling at the moon.  Good stuff.

2.) Best Christmas movie?  The original Grinch, not that Jim Carey nonsense.  And who cares if the Grinch wears no pants and breaks into Who homes and takes all their stuff. The best part of that movie is when he plays pool with the Christmas ornaments.

Runner up is Home Alone. The movie that taught us that it’s ok to fight off grown men when they come to rob your house.  In real life, Culkin just gets shot or crow barred to the face, right?

3.) Stef and I watched The Family Stone the other night, and you know what?  Don’t ever watch that movie.  The Family Stone are a bunch of assholes.

4.) My bold NFL Prediction for the week is this: The Dolphins beat the Raiders, then Denver beats Minnesota, then we have to endure an entire week of the Tebow love fest (will someone just go for his knees already?), only to have the Raiders beat Green Bay and end their undfeated streak the next week and Denver lose to whoever they are playing.  Take it to the bank.

5.) I watched the Houston college football game yesterday and anyone who thought that they should’e been playing for the national championship just because they were undefeated is deusional as all get out.  That team would get MURDERED by LSU.  I’d like to see Oklahoma State get a chance at LSU, but lets face it, the only team with a real shot at taking down the Honey Badger and company is Alabama.

6.) Kentucky played UNC yesterday and it was AWESOME! Especially the end, where a UK player blocked a shot with 5 seconds left, and instead of fouling, UNC just gave up. Can all UK games end like this please?

7.) Screw you Jimmy Graham and Drew Brees!  I was up by 49 pts in a $50 buy-in fantasy league before they played on Monday night, and then I wake up at midnight to see how they did and WHAT THE HELL!  Brees threw 5 TDs and 2 of those were to Graham!  I didn’t even need to check the score, I knew I was beaten.  So farewell $50 league, luckily I still have another and then Randy’s league where I need to win to make the playoffs.  Fingers crossed!

Three team tease for this week:

KC +7 at Chicago

Carolina +2 at Tampa Bay

Denver -1 at Minnesota

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Tebow Anxiety

October 30, 2011 Adam Thomas

Damn you, Tim Tebow!  Damn you straight to hell!  It’s Sunday morning, 9:25 a.m. and I can either start Tebow against the Lions D (who I own) or I can start Matt Schaub against the Jags. I’ve wanted to go with Schaub all week, but now, here I sit, seriously considering putting in Tebow.  Why? Cause the man put up like 25 pts in 2 minutes last week!  Sure he sucked for the whole game, but he has the potential to be fantasy gold int he 4th quarter. So you sit and bitch for 3 quarters about how terrible he is, only to fall in love all over again when that 4th quarter rolls around.  Bleh, whatever, I am going with Scaub.

Also, what in the world is going on in that picture?

Unless I don’t….

1.) I saw Bridesmaids last night and for once, I think an overhyped movie deserved the hype.  It was pretty damn funny. We also watched 28 Days Later, which I had never seen.  I’m not sure how that’s possible cause I love zombie movies and that one got a lot of praise.  And it was well deserved.  Not a bad movie at all. But not as good as…

2.) The original DAWN OF THE DEAD!  Man, I watched this yesterday afternoon by myself and it freaked me out.  Those 70’s/80’s horror movies with their grainy film and synthed out soundtracks are always much more scary to me than these new age flicks with their sawing off of the legs and making human centipedes and what not. Getting back to Dawn of the Dead, there is something about it that is just plain unsettling.  Some of it has to do with the zombies eating people (especially when the zombie eats the biker’s stomach.  Gah, that is so gross!) but I think it’s the fact that these folks had everything perfect in the mall until some more humans, not zombies, showed up and ruined it all. In conclusion, can’t we all just get along?

3.) As I type this, the song Lakini’s Juice by Live is playing (I’m not proud of this) and the singer just said, “I rushed the ladies room took the water from the toilet, washed her feet and blessed her name.” Um…what?

4.) Speaking of music, you know what always gets me in the mood for fall?  Listening to Yes and Pink Floyd.  When it comes to Yes, my freshman year of high school, on the ride home from soccer practice, my brother would always blast Yes in his light blue Aries K station wagon (equipped with collapsing roof material!) and now, everytime I hear Starship Trooper, I think of fall.  With regards to Pink Floyd, I think I listened to The Wall about 500000 times during my sophomore year. The best song on the album?  No, it’s not Confortably Numb, it’s Run Like Hell!

5.) I think that Raffi from the League is officially the funniest man on televsion. He is such a dirty mother effer. All I am going to say is murder boner.

Ok, last week I think I was 2 for 3 on my three team tease which is a lot like kissing your sister.  It gives you something to do, but it gets you nowhere. This week, I like:

DENVER +3 over Detroit

KC +3 over San Diego

New England -2.5 at PITTSBURGH

Let’s see how it goes.  Now, back to tweaking my lineups!