Tag Archive: thor

Avengers….ASSEMBLE!

May 25, 2012 Adam Thomas

I’ll try my best to keep this spoiler free, but in all reviews, it’s kind of tough to not give away some aspects of the movie.  So if you haven’t seen the Avengers yet, you may want to wait until reading this.

I saw the Avengers on Wednesday and it certainly lived up to the hype.  But before we get into that, let me just say, if you live in the Newark area, I highly recommend going to see a movie at Newark Cinema Center 3 in the Newark Shopping Center as opposed to Regal People’s Plaza Cinema 17.  Why you ask?  We saw the 5:40 p.m. show and tickets were only $6 bucks!  Last time we saw the matinee of 21 Jump Street at People’s Plaza, I think we payed about 17 bucks for tickets, which is ridiculous. And that was for the matinee!  Crazy.  Also, Newark’s theatre has those old-as-dirt worn in seats that let you LEAN BACK as far as possible.  Very comfortable.  And seeing the movie at 5:40 meant that there were only about 15 people in the theatre.  Which is awesome.  Nothing worse than being crammed in next to some strangers and having that awkward moment when you do your “dolphin inhaling water” laugh at a part of the movie nobody else found funny. But enough about my insecurities, let’s get to the Avengers, shall we?

I want to rank all of the Avengers in order of their toughness and importance to the team, at least according to the movie.

1.) The Incredible Hulk. Hulk is, without a doubt, the toughest and most badass of the Avengers. I don’t think anyone who watches the movie can argue that point. Also, I hope they are finally done switching who gets to play the Hulk every movie.  I think Ruffalo is a good choice, he’s a little nutty and does a good job.  Of course, if it were up to me, they never would’ve gotten rid of Eric Bana, but hey, what are you gonna do?

2.) Thor.  I mean, he’s a God so it’s kind of cheating, but still, I have to put him a notch below the Hulk.

3.) Quips.  Without snarky quips, I really don’t know where this team would be. And if you don’t like your superheroes saying super cute things in the face of impending doom, than the Avengers ain’t the movie for you. Ex.) Ironman says: “I’m bringing the party to you” and then he flies in with bad guys on his tail which leads Black Widow to say, “That’s what you call a party?”  ZING!

4.) Ironman.  Tony Stark is the man, he is the standout star of the Avengers and the poster boy for functioning alcoholics everywhere.  Also, he’s got a sweet goatee and Pepper Potts back at base, not a bad combo.

5.) Captain America. Look, I hate the actor who plays Captain America. I think it’s BS that he got to play the Human Torch and Captain America.  BUT he is really good in the role.  Cause Captain America is a tool box. He also gets kinda rocked in this movie. Especially by Loki. Although, he is good at organizing the Avengers and coming up with a plan of attack, so that has to count for something.

6.) Black Widow.  I mean, both Black Widow and Hawkeye are pretty lame, but *SPOILER* if you’ve seen the movie, you kinda know why she has to get ranked ahead of Hawkeye. Also, how funny is that scene in the preview when they’re all preparing to fight the bad guys, and there’s all the badass super heroes with their weapons (Thor with his hammer, Iron Man with his suit, Captain America with his shield), and then it pans to Hawkeye loading his bow and Black Widow loading a dinky little pistol.  Weak. Sauce.

7.) Hawkeye.  I mean, they’re super powered arrows, but they’re still just arrows. Once he runs out, what good is he?

Also, one other part of the movie that is super awesome and needs to be mentioned is that the dad from Red Dawn shows up!  It’s incredible!  And he tells the Avengers–while grabbing onto a chain-link fence–“Boys…avenge me!  AVENGE MEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!” Just kidding, he doesn’t say that, but he SHOULD’VE!  It is called the Avengers after all.

Anyway, definitely check it out if you get the chance. It’s good stuff.

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Random Thoughts

May 13, 2011 Adam Thomas

1.) Thor is awesome.  I saw Thor on Tuesday with Stefanie and Noah, and let me tell you what, that movie is really good. It’s the perfect three star movie.  Keeps you entertained, keeps things rolling, has good characters and a good story, has Stringer Bell as a big ass gate keeper cloaked in gold with yellow eyes.

And let me tell you something else.  Thor is the first movie that I’ve ever seen in a theater where when the main guy character came into a scene shirtless, the ENTIRE theater gasped.  The girls gasped and were like: DAMN!  The guys gasped and were like: DAMN!  Dude is just that jacked.  I’m not sure if his arms were CGI’d or HGHed or what, but if that crap is for real, hats off to you Chris Hemsworth.  Go see the movie if you get a chance, it’s the perfect way to kick off the summer movie season.By the way, they are re-making Red Dawn and you know who plays the Swayze role?  Hemsworth.  Awesome.

2.) Can we talk about these prom proposals for just one second?  What in the world has gotten into high school kids these days.  We had dinner with my aunt, uncle and cousin the other week, and my cousin, who is a senior in high school, was telling us these RIDICULOUS ways that guys were asking girls to prom. I’m talking about computer programs spouting off poems, I’m talking about roses in the bedroom, I’m talking about post-it notes on walls.  What the hell?  Then yesterday I see some kid put poster boards on his school’s outside wall spelling out “will you go to prom with me?”  To be dicks, the administration suspended the kid from prom (what a swift kick in the nuts, eh?), but the real story is…calm down guys.  Prom is kinda lame.  You eat shitty food and then you dance.  Whoopti-doo.

3.) The other night my dad and brother and me were watching the Heat play the Celtics when Big Neil uttered a phrase I never thought I’d hear.  We were watching the Philly Union game (more on that later), but switching back and forth between that and the Heat/Celtics game, and at one point I said, “We need to get Lebron to play soccer.”  To which Big Neil said, “Lebron’s not that athletic.”  (Insert record screeching noise).

Now, Lebron would suck at soccer, that much is given.  But to go as far as to say that he’s not that athletic?  Look, hate the guy all you want, but he is incredibly athletic. He may suck at life, but he doesn’t suck at athleticism.

Big Neil also said something about how he could beat Lebron James in a foot race, claiming that he is faster than Lebron James, and you know what?  I don’t totally (emphasis on “totally”) doubt him.  The reason?  If (when) Lebron did get ahead of my dad, you know that Big Neil would take out his knees or something.  Beat Lebron in a race and end his career in one fell swoop?  Just another day at the office.

4.) Speaking of the Union game, it was pretty fun to watch, as they scored late to tie the Galaxy.  But man oh man are MLS players bad.  The play is just so painfully bad to watch at times, but overall, they are trying their best and I guess that’s all you can ask for.  It is kinda bogus that the Galaxy and Red Bulls have 12 million dollar salaries and everyone else has like 2-3 million salary caps.  It’s especially bad when you consider that MLS sets the salary caps for each team.  It’s not like the Red Bulls and Galaxy owners just WANT to spend more, it’s that MLS lets them and then denies everyone else that opportunity.  Great business model.

5.) Just watched episode one of Twin Peaks yesterday and I think Stefanie summed it up best when she turned to me about 3/4ths of the way through and said, “I feel like I’m in another world.”  Exactly.

That show is unlike anything I’ve ever seen on TV before. I would say that it was ahead of its time, since it came out in 1990, but I’m not really sure if it even has a time to be ahead of. And if it debuted today, critics would still say, “It’s ahead of it’s time.”

It is just incredibly entertaining, making you feel all sorts of emotions (humor, sadness, scared, icky, odd), when most shows only go for one.  If you haven’t seen it, check it out.  We watched for two hours and it felt like 20 minutes.  The time just flew by and that is definitely a world that you want to get lost in…maybe not to visit, but definitely to observe as an outsider through a TV set.

Until next time…

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