Tag Archive: stringer bell

I Would Walk 900 Miles

March 23, 2012 Adam Thomas

1.) Somebody needs to put an end to that Taco Bell commercial where the teenager kidnaps 4 of his friends and drives 900 miles to a Taco Bell. 900 Miles! That is the most ridiculous thing that I have ever seen. I don’t know anybody who would drive 9 miles to a Taco Bell.

As NT put it when I ran this joke past him, “Why didn’t they just drive to Mexico and get some real tacos?” Indeed.

Plus, as NT also pointed out, how many Taco Bell’s did they pass in that 900 mile stretch?  I can see them coming up to one of the blue highway signs that lists all the restaurants:

Grant: “Uh, Derrick, didn’t we just pass a Taco Bell?”

Derrick: “YOU SHUT YOUR MOUTH, GRANT!”

2.) I was watching “Into the Blue” on Saturday (don’t ask, I was sick all day and in a Benadryl induced coma), but something happened in that movie and it really gets on my nerves.

So they find this buried treasure under the sea, and all 4 characters are out to eat dinner (it is totally light out), and Paul Walker’s character starts in on a speech about the treasure saying, “The treasure belonged to this French Pirate” and Scott Caan’s character says, “Well, dude, who was this French pirate exactly?”  Which leads to Walker and Alba launching into a history lesson about the pirate and his ship.

But here’s the thing: Walker starts talking at dinner, then they cut to a scene where he is talking at a campfire.  It’s completely dark and they have moved locations, but he is finishing the exact same sentence that he started during dinner.

So what happened in the meantime? Did he just get distracted, stop his story for 3 hours and then pick it up again at a later time?  Or was he like, “So the pirates name is Dan and he…hold on, let me wait till we get to the campfire to continue this sentence.”  It happens in “Field of Dreams” too when Ray is talking to his daughter about Shoeless Joe Jackson. I would be very irritated if somebody was telling me a story, stopped completely, and then picked it up 3 hours later as if nothing had happened in the meantime.

3.) I saw the trailer for Ridley Scott’s “Prometheus” and it looks awesome, but something happened in the middle of the trailer that made me burst out laughing. It’s a science fiction movie and these two people are outside of the space ship investigating something, and then Stringer Bell from the Wire pops up and says “Whatever that probe’s picking up, it’s reading life form” only he says it in a RIDICULOUS Texas accent.  High comedy.  I don’t know what Idris Elba was thinking, but I haven’t heard a southern accent that bad since Nic Cage in Con Air.

“Put da bunny…back in da box.”

4.) Nothing is more embarrassing than having a Headrush Tournament pick em Yahoo League and losing to your wife…that’s why I’m trying to hide that fact in item 4. Cause you all skip over item 4, right? Stefanie is currently tied for first place with NT (Though she has more possible points remaining), Randy sitting in a respectable 3rd, and I’m in 5th. Still a lot of basketball to be played, though, but I’m pretty sure we all (Me, NT, Stef and Randy) have Kentucky winning it.

5.) The Saints deserved what they got. Why all the whining? I mean look, I’m sure other teams had bounty programs in place, BUT the NFL was investigating the Saints and the Saints lied to them about the whole program existing. Think about that.

If you were doing something at work, your boss told you to stop, you didn’t stop but lied to them and told them that you did, and then they found out you lied…You’d be screwed!  That’s why I have no sympathy for the Saints.

6.) Speaking of, that text message that Jeremy Shockey posted is the weirdest thing that I have ever seen take place between a coach and a player. I don’t even think I need to add anything so I will let the message speak for itself:

Is this real life?  There is no way that is really Sean Payton sending those texts. Why in the world would he have “hug!!!!!!” at the top of the conversation? Peculiar.

7.) One more thing: Drew Brees, I think you need to sit the next few rounds out. After the punishment came down, he got on twitter and said, “I am speechless. Sean Payton is a great man, coach, mentor and a phenomenal hugger (ed. note: I may have added this part). The best there is. I need to hear an explanation for this punishment.”

Um, Drew, I have nothing to do with the NFL and even I was able to hear an explanation for the punishment. Just go on ANY NFL RELATED WEBSITE THERE IS, and you will be able to find the reasons behind the punishments. I used to like Brees, but after this off season and all the contract stuff, he seems like a prick.

8.) I’m not too concerned with Peyton coming to the AFC West for a few reasons: a.) The Raiders are in rebuilding mode and I’m not expecting them to win the division next year.

b.) If you hit Peyton in exactly the right spot, it’s going to be like a scene straight outta Mutant League Football with Bones Jackson sending his head spinning into outer space. Seriously, the man has had four neck surgeries. He really shouldn’t be playing football.

c.) He looks old as dirt. The Broncos will probably get one good season out of him, but I doubt they’ll get two.

d.) Tebow is gone, which makes me happy.

That’s all I got.  Till next time….

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Random Thoughts

May 13, 2011 Adam Thomas

1.) Thor is awesome.  I saw Thor on Tuesday with Stefanie and Noah, and let me tell you what, that movie is really good. It’s the perfect three star movie.  Keeps you entertained, keeps things rolling, has good characters and a good story, has Stringer Bell as a big ass gate keeper cloaked in gold with yellow eyes.

And let me tell you something else.  Thor is the first movie that I’ve ever seen in a theater where when the main guy character came into a scene shirtless, the ENTIRE theater gasped.  The girls gasped and were like: DAMN!  The guys gasped and were like: DAMN!  Dude is just that jacked.  I’m not sure if his arms were CGI’d or HGHed or what, but if that crap is for real, hats off to you Chris Hemsworth.  Go see the movie if you get a chance, it’s the perfect way to kick off the summer movie season.By the way, they are re-making Red Dawn and you know who plays the Swayze role?  Hemsworth.  Awesome.

2.) Can we talk about these prom proposals for just one second?  What in the world has gotten into high school kids these days.  We had dinner with my aunt, uncle and cousin the other week, and my cousin, who is a senior in high school, was telling us these RIDICULOUS ways that guys were asking girls to prom. I’m talking about computer programs spouting off poems, I’m talking about roses in the bedroom, I’m talking about post-it notes on walls.  What the hell?  Then yesterday I see some kid put poster boards on his school’s outside wall spelling out “will you go to prom with me?”  To be dicks, the administration suspended the kid from prom (what a swift kick in the nuts, eh?), but the real story is…calm down guys.  Prom is kinda lame.  You eat shitty food and then you dance.  Whoopti-doo.

3.) The other night my dad and brother and me were watching the Heat play the Celtics when Big Neil uttered a phrase I never thought I’d hear.  We were watching the Philly Union game (more on that later), but switching back and forth between that and the Heat/Celtics game, and at one point I said, “We need to get Lebron to play soccer.”  To which Big Neil said, “Lebron’s not that athletic.”  (Insert record screeching noise).

Now, Lebron would suck at soccer, that much is given.  But to go as far as to say that he’s not that athletic?  Look, hate the guy all you want, but he is incredibly athletic. He may suck at life, but he doesn’t suck at athleticism.

Big Neil also said something about how he could beat Lebron James in a foot race, claiming that he is faster than Lebron James, and you know what?  I don’t totally (emphasis on “totally”) doubt him.  The reason?  If (when) Lebron did get ahead of my dad, you know that Big Neil would take out his knees or something.  Beat Lebron in a race and end his career in one fell swoop?  Just another day at the office.

4.) Speaking of the Union game, it was pretty fun to watch, as they scored late to tie the Galaxy.  But man oh man are MLS players bad.  The play is just so painfully bad to watch at times, but overall, they are trying their best and I guess that’s all you can ask for.  It is kinda bogus that the Galaxy and Red Bulls have 12 million dollar salaries and everyone else has like 2-3 million salary caps.  It’s especially bad when you consider that MLS sets the salary caps for each team.  It’s not like the Red Bulls and Galaxy owners just WANT to spend more, it’s that MLS lets them and then denies everyone else that opportunity.  Great business model.

5.) Just watched episode one of Twin Peaks yesterday and I think Stefanie summed it up best when she turned to me about 3/4ths of the way through and said, “I feel like I’m in another world.”  Exactly.

That show is unlike anything I’ve ever seen on TV before. I would say that it was ahead of its time, since it came out in 1990, but I’m not really sure if it even has a time to be ahead of. And if it debuted today, critics would still say, “It’s ahead of it’s time.”

It is just incredibly entertaining, making you feel all sorts of emotions (humor, sadness, scared, icky, odd), when most shows only go for one.  If you haven’t seen it, check it out.  We watched for two hours and it felt like 20 minutes.  The time just flew by and that is definitely a world that you want to get lost in…maybe not to visit, but definitely to observe as an outsider through a TV set.

Until next time…

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