I’m Sick of Hearing About Tony Romo…. Already…

Sometimes, I like to think of a story as a meal. You want to start the readers off with something wonderful to drink, enchant them with some light appetizers, and then make your point with the meat and potatoes. Every once in a while, I’ll end the meal with some sweet desserts. Today…. we’re going to start with steak the cook dropped on the floor in the back.

Tony Romo is getting so much praise for a mediocre performance, it’s making my stomach turn. This is the problem with national exposure, I suppose. They need something to discuss and “analyze”. Lord knows nobody wants to dissect Rex Grossman’s performance, so Tony Romo is getting commended now as an elite quarterback that has taken control of his team. Is that what 255 passing yards and an interception gets you?

If that’s the case, Cam Newton is the greatest quarterback of all time….

I understand that Romo was hurt, I get that. He’s overcoming huge adversity. There is an immense amount of national coverage that the Cowboys receive over most teams. He has a punctured lung. The guy is playing through terrible pain, and what appears to be a terrible supporting cast. That still doesn’t qualify him as an elite quarterback, and I hardly see how this game was the game that got him over the top in people’s eyes.

The kicker made 6 field goals. That’s the only points the team scored. Just let it be what it is.

While Tony Romo was busy saving children from burning wreckage with his bare hands, Michael Vick was busy getting destroyed by the New York Giants.

Vick was getting punished repeatedly on Sunday. It looked disgusting. The offensive line is atrocious this year. Next to Jay Cutler, Michael Vick may be the most sacked quarterback of the year.

Vick complained to the media after Sunday’s game, stating the referees don’t call the same penalties to protect him that other quarterbacks get. Two things come to mind when I heard this :

1) I honestly believe it’s a combination of his offensive line sucking, him running around a lot, and referees not calling those particular penalties when they should. At some point, when he’s on the ground, one of those three things just happened. Sure, he does scramble more than most, but there has probably been about a half-dozen cheap shots I’ve seen where Vick goes down after he’s released the ball, and nothing has been called. The guy’s kinda tiny and easy to push around.

2) This is what happens when you instate a rule that has no real boundaries. The “roughing the passer” rule has become so gray and vague, it’s hard to tell what is and isn’t a penalty anymore. It’s not fair, and it gives people like Michael Vick a lot more weight in their argument. Leaving a decision up to a particular referee during a quick 4-second instance leaves a lot of room for errors.

I suggest that all quarterbacks are placed in a large synthetic polymer bubble with some sort of release mechanism that ejects the ball out of the bubble for passes. If a defensive player manages to roll the ball more than once, the quarterback is sacked. This, of course, will lead up to the famous “half-roll” controversy in Superbowl 2024.

So, let’s look at some of the standings after week 3 and play a little real or fake.

The most surprising of all may be the Buffalo Bills, who lead the AFC East with a 3-0 record. I don’t know how they are winning, or how they defeated the Patriots this weekend, but they did, and Ryan Fitzpatrick now looks like a God. I gotta say fake. I don’t see this lasting the entire year and I still think the Pats are going to take that division.

The Oakland Raiders are leading the AFC West and the Kansas City Chiefs are 0-3. Did we step back into the early 2000s? This is real folks. McFadden is probably going to be the best running back at the end of the year when all is said and done, and those guys are mean. Even with the Chargers winning early in the year (which is super-rare for them), Oakland swept that division last year, and they look more dominant than ever.

The Dallas Cowboys lead the division at 2-1, tied with the Redskins, and the Eagles are in last place at 1-2. It turns me to say that this is real. I don’t envision Michael Vick playing all 16 games (which he’s only done once in his career) and you’re telling me Vince Young is gonna get it done? I don’t see it. This division is packed. I think the Eagles will definitely contend, but it’ll be like the Patriots missing the playoffs at 11-5 two years ago.

I also have to take a moment to say this, and trust me, I’m befuddled saying it as well…. I think Rex Grossman is no longer a shitty quarterback. (Looks left, looks right) I’m not saying he’s great or anything, I’m just saying he’s good. He’s average, or better. The real reason I’m saying this is because of his post-game press-conference last night. I honestly liked how he handled himself. He answered the questions correctly and seemed to be way more intelligent and assured than the Grossman of 2008. His play is reflecting that. Ok, I’m done….

The Tampa Bay Buccaneers lead the NFC South at 2-1. This I believe to be real. I picked the Tampa Bay Buccaneers to make the Superbowl. After Week 1, that looked silly, but now they’ve won 2 games and are atop their division. I like Josh Freeman. I think there’s something special about that kid. I also think that the NFC South is going to be a pretty tough division with the Falcons, Saints, and… Panthers (cough, ahem…) I see the Bucs winning the NFC South with a 9-7 or 10-6 record and making a great playoff run.

The San Francisco 49ers lead the NFC West at 2-1. I think this is sad, and real. I saw the St. Louis Rams doing way better than they are, but at 0-3 they look terrible. What really stands out is there points differential. 36 points scored, 96 points allowed. Yeeeeesh. The Seahawks and Cardinals are both pretty average, so it’s pretty much the Niners division to lose.

It’s important to note that there are literally 2 games left in baseball and they’re going to jump right into the playoffs. Don’t take things lightly. The Phillies cruised into the playoffs this year, but come September 30th, we are just like everybody else. It’s time to get serious.

No picks this week. I’ve done enough writing. Plus, I went 50%, so you don’t want to listen to me anyway….

Take a minute to digest your meal, folks. It’s probably food poisoning….

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