Tag Archive: raul ibanez

RAUUUUUUUUL and the Juice

May 6, 2011 Randy Neil

Ok, I’m not saying that Raul Ibanez takes steroids…. because he doesn’t. In fact, when he joined the Phillies in 2009 and had that stellar first half of the season, accusations were flying that Ibanez was juicing to revive his career and Raul took great offense to it. He’s never tested dirty.

But since then, Raul has been slumping through 2.5 seasons riddled with injuries and horrible at-bats. The “RAUUUUUUL’s” quickly turned to “BOOOOOOs” this season during his 0/31 slump. His offensive production hasn’t really been the same since returning from that 2009 All-Star Break injury. This year he’s only batting .214 average with 15 RBIs. Those numbers are padded a lot from the last 3 days. If we looked the month of April only, it would read :

.161 AVG / 14 hits / 108 At-Bats / 10 RBIs / 1HR.

Yikes. Then, for some reason, the past 3 days have been monumentally better for Ibanez. Against the Nationals, Ibanez has had 8 hits for 12 at bats (.667 average) with 2 home-runs, 5 RBIs, and fell a triple short of the cycle yesterday! What on Earth has happened?

Something happened between May 1st and May 3rd that got Raul all fired up! Maybe he got laid. Maybe he found his wife cheating on him. Did you know that he sleeps in a hyperbaric chamber every night like Michael Jackson did? Kinda weird.

I saw Ibanez in person about 2 weeks ago at the Phils/Brewers and what stood out (aside from his shitty at-bats) was how jacked he looks now. It’s hard to tell on TV, but from when I saw him last year and now, his arms look twice the size. For being 38, the man is super diesel. It’s hard NOT to think he’s on steroids. I’m just saying if a news flash read “Raul Ibanez caught taking steroids” I wouldn’t be blown away.

I don’t really care what it is, but whatever happened May 2nd, I hope it continues. Go forth RAUUUUUL!!


The 2011 Philadelphia Phillies Opening Day Lineup

April 1, 2011 Randy Neil

Yea, yea, Opening Day was yesterday. But we’re in Philadelphia. Opening Day starts today. First pitch starts (hopefully) at 1PM ET at Citizens Bank Park. I’ve seen flurries and rain all morning, but talk is that the game will be played as scheduled. Yippie.

The Lineup

1. Shane Victorino CF
2. Placido Polanco 3B
3. Jimmy Rollins SS
4. Ryan Howard 1B
5. Rauuuuul Ibanez LF
6. Ben Francisco RF
7. Carlos Ruiz C
8. Wilson Valdez
9. Roy Halladay


(God that’s an awful Photoshop job I know. Wasn’t me!)


Bring the King. Off With His Head!!

March 25, 2011 Randy Neil

Well, it’s Friday. 6 days to go until opening day, and things have gotten worse. Chase Utley has officially been moved to the DL, Brad Lidge has been moved to the DL, Cole Hamels got lit up yesterday, Roy Oswalt got beaned in the head with a ball and is recovering…. It wouldn’t be a typical Phillies season without some drama. The Braves look amazing, and although people have been doing nothing but talking shit on the Mets (like me), they look pretty good so far too.

Every analyst keeps showing concern for the offensive voids in the lineup, and now, I am too. Maybe we are really gonna feel the burn from Jayson Werth signing elsewhere. Rauuuuuuuul ain’t getting any younger and Rollins has looked like shit all spring. I expect a slow start from him, followed by a slow finish. Dominic Brown hasn’t done a thing to make me feel he’s truly ready for a starting role, and if the Mets don’t want Castillo, I can’t fathom why we would. Somebody better get Howard a whoooooole mess of Subway Feasts.

It’s really heating up in theheadrush.com March Madness competition. I have the lead right now, but it’s thin. Adam’s bracket has basically busted because of Syracuse, although with some pretty extreme circumstances, I believe he can still win. Duke lost last night, in very poor fashion, not only making Brendan elated, but also giving him a pretty good opportunity to win this little competition of ours.

He has Ohio State winning the whole thing, and 32 points would be a huge boost in the standings for him. I can’t have that. Here’s to praying that they choke. That’s basically the only way he’s gonna win, and I simply can’t have that. YOU can’t have that. The universe will collapse.

I know I don’t talk about the Sixers much, but I think I should note the importance of tonight’s game. The 76ers travel down to Miami to face the Heat, a team we are most likely to face in the play offs. The Sixers actually have a good chance to win this game. Jrue Holiday will probably be guarding Dwayne Wade, a daunting task for anyone. That’s my main concern. Iggy will be on James most likely, and I’m never disappointed in Andre’s defense. We have the big men so Bosh will have some trouble. Our bench is 10x deeper than theirs. It gives us hope and a great way to gauge ourselves going into the playoffs.

Bring the king.