Tag Archive: nfl picks

Hell, Let’s Make Some Picks!

December 13, 2012 Randy Neil

I’ll admit, I’ve been off my game lately. I hadn’t made any NFL predictions since Week 9. Things have been hectic, so forgive me for not guiding your betting patterns for a few weeks. But, just as people feel towards McDonald’s hamburgers, you’ll love me, then hate me, then forgive me right back into your life at an inopportune time.

Let’s get to the FAT!

Cincinnati -4.5 @ Philadelphia – The Eagles are the only team I know that can mess up losing. The idea, at this point, is to lose out for a better draft pick. The coaching staff is getting gutted, Michael Vick is out, just lose for God’s sake! Cincinnati still has playoff hopes, albeit small, but I suspect them to play with some luster today. Bengals -4.5

Green Bay -3 @ Chicago – The Bears were cruising into the playoffs but have been on a bumpy road as of late. Green Bay is hitting their stride and has a chance to close out any division hopes for Chicago. Packers -3.

New York Giants -1 @ Atlanta – The Falcons have gotten absolutely no love despite their 11-2 record. There’s a reason for that. Giants -1.

Tampa Bay +3.5 @ New Orleans – Who knows what you’re going to get with the Bucs. Some weeks they are good, some weeks they are not. This is a game I’d probably avoid, but I’d take the rising Saints -3.5.

Minnesota +1.5 @ St. Louis – The Vikings have been surprisingly consistent throughout the year. Not anything incredible, but consistent enough to have an above .500 record. The Rams, believe it or not, are 6-6, too. I’m looking at the Rams allowing an average of 110.3 rushing yards per game as the difference, though. Vikings +1.5

Washington -1 @ Cleveland – Latest I’ve heard is that the almighty RG3 will be present for this game. The Redskins have playoffs hopes which will drive their play, although I believe they will ultimately not make the post-season. Browns have won 3 in a row, btw. Worth noting. Also worth noting is they went from 2-8 to 5-8. Redskins -1.

Jacksonville +7 @ Miami – Yawwwwwwn. Jaguars +7. Whatever.

Denver -2.5 @ Baltimore – The Ravens had quite a reality check last week when their secondary was picked apart by 2 rookies. What’s even worse is the fact that they just fired their offensive coordinator and have someone who’s never held the position filling it on Sunday. Broncos -2.5.

Indianapolis +9.5 @ Houston – This is such a weird line. The 9-4 Colts are this big of an underdog to a team that just got destroyed the week prior by New England? The Colts have won 7 of 8, and this is a huge division game, with possible postseason implementations. Gotta go Colts +9.5.

Carolina +3 @ San Diego – Two terribly under-achieving teams that both won last week with huge upsets over flagship teams this season. This is a weird one, but the Chargers live and die with Phillip Rivers. He has been better as of late, and the Panthers secondary is pretty bad, so I’ll go Chargers -3.

Seattle -5 @ Buffalo – West coast team going East. They are way more talented than the Bills, and although the Buffalo offense has kept them close in a lot of games, the Seattle defense is too much for them to conquer. Seahawks -5.

Detroit -6 @ Arizona – This is where teams go to die. Detroit just has too much talent to get caught up losing to a struggling Cardinals team. Their offensive line is beat up, their quarterbacks are beat up, and they have no running game. Lions -6.

Pittsburgh -1 @ Dallas – Both teams sit at 7-6 right now, and a victory here could mean huge things for either team. Pittsburgh has a tendency to perform when the pressure is on. Dallas has a tendency to crumble to pieces when the pressure is on. Steelers -1.

Kansas City +3 @ Oakland – The over/under on this game is 44. Hmmmmm, can I take the under please? Going against my gut here, Raiders -3.

San Francisco +5 @ New England – I think this west coast Niner team is going to have trouble going into New England. The Pats are probably the hottest team in the league right now. Plus I am not a fan of the Kaepernick/Smith switch. I hope that comes back to bite them. Pats -5.

New York Jets +1 @ Tennessee – Let’s just make this clear… the Jets have zero chance of making the playoffs. Mark Sanchez throws 8 picks. Jets +1.

Til next week suckers!


The Super Quick Picks

October 18, 2012 Randy Neil

It’s Thursday! That means the games for Week 7 start tonight. That means my picks for this week are going to be just as good as last week!

First, how did I do last week? 8 of 13. Not too shabby, I must say. I called the Jets game. Called the Bucs. Almost called the Cowboys minus half a point.

Second, if you haven’t noticed, our latest Tweet doesn’t show up in Chooch’s quote box anymore!! Twitter has literally revamped their entire API, meaning all the thousands of people who used to embed Tweets without their gay-ass widget can’t anymore. It’s super lame. It has a lot to do with large accounts and mobile apps that they want to end up paying for their data, so little folks like us suffer.

Not sure when I will get that back up and running, but I just want to tell Twitter…. look at Facebook man. You try to monetize everything you do, you will die. Facebook stock? Laughable.

Anywho, THE PICKS!!

Seattle +9 @ San Francisco – Mmmmmm, Seattle is always getting the short end of the stick. No one picked them for any of the upsets they had, and that’s why, I am not this time. All that talk about the Hawks making their spread, or even winning, is gonna back fire. 49ers -9.

Tennessee +3 @ Buffalo – Most boring game of the week goes to?? Hasselback is looking better. Fitzpatrick is looking worse. Titans +3.

Arizona +6.5 @ Minnesota – These are two teams that both exceeded their season expectations already. THEY ARE WHO WE THOUGHT THEY WERE!! Cardinals +6.5

Cleveland +1 @ Indianapolis – Thinking the Colts are gonna bounce back. At home, so that means that Cleveland would be favored if this was the other way around? Oooo, on second thought, Trent Richardson, if healthy, will run all over Indy. I’d say away from this one…. but…. Cleveland +1.

Baltimore +7 @ Houston – Probably the game of the week. I understand that Houston is good, but I don’t get how this spread can be that big. Ravens +7.

Green Bay -5.5 @ St. Louis – Hm, Green Bay -5.5.

Dallas -1 @ Carolina – I have a feeling this is going to be Cam’s redemption game before falling into sophmore oblivion again. He can’t have RGIII get all the love. Panthers +1.

Washington +6.5 @ New York Giants – The Giants look really good. The Redskins have a little steam building as well. I think the Giants will win, but not by a TD. Redskins +6.5.

New Orleans -1 @ Tampa Bay – Tampa Bay. Again.

New York Jets +10.5 @ New England – God dang this line is absurd. I think New England is going to win, but this game has a lot of hype going into Sunday. Gotta take the big spread. Jets +10.5.

Jacksonville +4 @ Oakland – No clue. Raiders -4?

Pittsburgh -1 @ Cincinnati – The Bengals have had the Steelers number lately. Gonna go with the Bengals +1. DALTON!!

Detroit +6.5 @ Chicago – I watched the Lions squeak by the Eagles last Sunday in person. Boy it was infuriating. Do I expect the Bears to fall apart in the same fashion? No, but that spread is large enough I’ll take the Lions. Division game. Lions +6.5



Week 7 NFL Picks & Fantasy Miracle Predictions

October 21, 2011 Randy Neil

Don’t ask about the picture. I typed in fantasy miracle and Google brought me back about 100 pictures of boobies. I’m not going to say no. It was now my duty to find the best boobies I could.

Well, the World Series is living up to all of our expectations. It’s boring and nobody cares except St. Louis and Texas. A lot of good pitching (yawn) and little offense has me switching the channels faster than anyone’s business.

3 things are saving me this fall. Football is one. The other two are Workaholics and Parks and Rec. The fact that Workaholics has already passed the “One and Done Test” on Comedy Central is good news. If there was an award for single-season shows, I’m pretty sure CC has it.

Theheadrush’s fantasy league is turning into a battle royal. With 8 teams, 2 QBs, and return yards counting, everyone’s team is a dominant force. It’s basically coming down to whoever has an off-day that week getting served the big L. There are 5 of 8 teams sitting at .500 and one guy sitting at 6-0.

Who am I facing this week? The 6-0 guy of course. Michael Vick (my 1st round 1st pick) has a bye week, so in a league with 2 quarterbacks I have Cam Newton (@ Washington) and Tim Tebow (@ Miami.) Tebow was a mid-season pick up (don’t think I just draft unproven hyped up rookie QBs okay, no judging) because Kyle Orton, a normally above-average fantasy QB, sucks and got benched.

I’m not too worried about it, though. Cam Newton going against Washington’s secondary? Tim Tebow (the chosen one) making his most anticipated start since last year? All up against an undefeated opponent with Aaron Rodgers? Questions? Really? I’m good.

Now that I’ve made an incredibly convincing argument to prove my wisdom, on to the picks!

Chicago Bears -1 @ Tampa Bay Buccaneers
Tampa Bay. This game is in London, so honestly who knows, but the Bucs are coming off a huge win when New Orleans came to town and I don’t expect Chicago to have much better luck. Sure the Bears defeated the Vikings last week, but the Vikings are horrible. Side note, am I the only person who feels sorry for Donovan McNabb? Of all the people with (probably) Hall-of-Fame careers, he gets shit on more than any of them. The man sucks now, though. Truth.

Washington Redskins +2.5 @ Carolina Panthers
Panthers. Who knows about this John Beck fellah? What I do know is Cam Newton is hungry for a win, and past due. I think this game is going to be close, but the Redskin’s playoff aspirations are a mirage. New NFC East favorite? The Giants.

San Diego Chargers -2.5 @ New York Jets
San Diego. Let the 2nd most popular coaching battle begin! Rex starting talking smack on Norv Turner saying how he would have won a few Superbowls if he was chosen as head coach back in 2007. Then, Turner promptly bitch smacked Rex with a “Well what about those other one’s you guaranteed?” comment which was awesome. Bout’ time Norv Turner started talking trash. Look, Rex, I know you’re trying this smack-talk as a method of motivation, and it’s worked in the past, but Phillip Rivers is dumb redneck, and nothing trumps dumb redneck.

Seattle Seahawks +3 @ Cleveland Browns
Uh, Seahawks? Who knows about these two? The Browns are basically wasting Peyton Hillis this season by giving him almost no rushing attempts. Hillis now has a hamstring injury (to go along with his flu that benched him in Week 3) so he’ll probably be out this week, too. I guess the Browns don’t want to pay him just yet to find out if it’s a fluke or not, and he’s proving to be just that. Hey Peyton, word to the wise, you don’t get paid off of 1 great season in the NFL. You get paid off of 2.

Houston Texans +3.5 @ Tennessee Titans
Texans. Andre Johnson is set to come back, and the Texans have been a worthy competitor even with a good amount of players on the DL. The Titans are the Texans only real competition in the AFC South, so this actually proves to be a pretty big game. How does Matt Hasselback do in big games? Oh, that’s right. Bad.

Denver Broncos +1 @ Miami Dolphins
Denver. Tim Tebow is making this season’s debut in a stadium that is dedicating the game to his former team. Sure, people can criticize Tebow for his poor mechanics and he has a starting record of 1-2, but I still have faith in the chosen one. Miami sucks. A lot of rumors are beginning to spread about some terrible teams continuing to “Suck for Luck” and Miami is one of them. The fact that teams in 2011 are contemplating losing in order to POSSIBLY get the #1 draft pick, Andrew Luck, is insane. He’s a great quarterback, yes, but he can still opt out for another college season! He’s a junior! How can one man have so much hype that teams are willing to throw their season away for a mere chance at drafting him? Mike Dikta would roll over in his bed (which is also his grave….. ouch.)

Atlanta Falcons +3.5 @ Detroit Lions
Atlanta. I was very torn about this, but I see Atlanta getting back on track, and Detroit headed to 5-2. Jim Schwartz got the team hyped up with his crazy Jim Harbaugh confrontation, but Atlanta is starting to fire on all cylinders. Does anyone remember 2007 when Detroit started 6-2 and finished 6-10? I do. I’m not saying their that bad, I just see a close game and thus, I must take the points.

Kansas City Chiefs +5.5 @ Oakland Raiders
Raiders. I thought this line was a joke when I first saw it. You could give Kansas City 10 points and I’d still probably take it. Carson Palmer is going to throw for 4 TDs and rush for 4 more. Mark my words. Also, does anyone remember Matt Cassel? Nothing should be a testament to your supporting cast more than Matt Cassel’s tenure in New England vs. Kansas City. Maybe the quarterback doesn’t deserve all the credit, sometimes? Hmmmmm….

Pittsburgh Steelers -4 @ Arizona Cardinals
Pittsburgh. The AFC North is full of good teams (Steelers, Bengals, Ravens) and they all have pretty incredible defenses. I don’t see Kolb really lighting up the Steelers too much. The Cardinals have an average offense on every front except for L. Fitz but he’s going to get double-teamed like woah.

St. Louis Rams +13 @ Dallas Cowboys
Rams. Maybe. That’s a pretty big spread and I cringe trying to take the Cowboys with that big of a margin. On the other hand, the Rams are absolute garbage and have the biggest Points Scored/Points Allowed ratio of any team. Maybe, take the Cowboys. I dunno.

Green Bay Packers -9 @ Minnesota Vikings
Packers. All day. The Vikings benched McNabb this week in favor of Christian Ponder, a rookie QB. Yea, that’s not a tough challenge. You’ve never played an NFL game in your life, you’re starting over a future Hall of Famer, and it’s against the reigning Superbowl Champions who happened to be undefeated. Have fun!

Indianapolis Colts +14 @ New Orleans Saints
Indianapolis. I strangely want to take the Colts in this one, with the points of course. Painter is actually a decent quarterback and his teammates are starting to rally around him. There’s talk that Drew Brees’s favorite weapon, Jimmy Graham, is out with a bad calf, too. I think the Saints will win, I just like Indy with the points.

Baltimore Ravens -7.5 @ Jacksonville Jaguars
Baltimore. The Jaguars suck, and honestly I’m confused as to how they made it on national television this week. Baltimore is a defensive juggernaut. The only thing that has me worried for this spread is the Raven’s somewhat lackadaisical approach to offense when they are already up. Winning by 7 points and winning by 7.5 could be all the difference. Honestly, just give me John Gruden talking shit for 3 hours and I’ll be happy.

*Lines are taken from SportsBetting.com


The NL East, The Big East, and Dan LeBatard Eats

September 20, 2011 Randy Neil

Welcome back, boys and girls. It’s been a pretty amazing week. The Phillies clinched the NL East with a win over the Cardinals on Saturday. Chase Utley’s barehanded grab to make the last out was symbolic of our entire season. We could do things the more traditional way, but instead, we’ll just make it look easy. Get your cameras ready, we’re making a highlight reel.

College football is changing. Smaller schools and smaller conferences are starting to get bullied around by the bigger fish in the pond. The ACC is starting to make moves that strangely look like they are attempting to destroy the Big East Conference. Teams are leaving, teams are joining other conferences, everyone is playing musical chairs.

If it wasn’t for the disgusting greed behind these actions, I’d actually be in favor of consolidating conferences in some cases. Bigger conferences make for better competition among teams, better games, etc. Sure, it would hurt those smaller schools, but isn’t the illegal recruiting already doing that?

I’m curious as to what college sports will look like in twenty years. I imagine a mere 3 major conferences, all involving 20 or more teams, with players that are getting financially compensated and huge scandals. It’s getting ugly, folks, and I don’t see any signs of it slowing down.

Now, I have to take a brief moment of silence for someone dear in the sports community. The Florida Marlins’ fans. Does anyone down there have time in between gator hunting to check out America’s pastime? Last week, Sun Life Stadium hosted a whopping 347 total spectators for a Marlins’ game. THREE. HUNDRED. FORTY. SEVEN. Man, that’s sad.

Florida is talking about building a new stadium for the Florida Marlins, and honestly, I can’t imagine why. Obviously the days of combining a football and baseball stadium are somewhat faux pas (cough, OAKLAND, cough, SAN DIEGO) but still, if you aren’t drawing crowds in Florida with a good team (see Bay, Tampa) you probably won’t do it with a terrible team. Let us bow our heads….

Ok, now if you haven’t seen, or even heard of, the new Dan Le Batard (pronounced Leh-bi-tard) show on ESPN2, I strongly recommend you watch it. Le Batard has been a regular on PTI and writes for the Miami Herald.

Now, I know what you’re thinking. The guys a douche, right? I used to think so, too, but his fast paced, bold attitude while interviewing athletes is perfect. His co-host happens to be his father, who truly has no business on television, but that’s what makes it funny. His thick Cuban accent makes interviewees very uncomfortable during questioning, and makes me very delighted.

I didn’t get a chance to see the Floyd Mayweather “knockout”, but from what I’ve heard, it was pretty unsatisfying. Look, truth is, he was going to win that fight anyway. I hate the guy, but there’s only one man on the face of the planet who’s better than him. We all know who it is, including Mayweather, which is why we’ll probably never see that fight take place. It’s pathetic, but I guess I wouldn’t have much an issue having people hating me if I was making $50 million dollars. I would just buy some of those people and pay them to like me.

Finally, I KNOW ya’ll saw my man Cam Newton tear it up. I fell into the hype of thinking he wasn’t going to perform as well against the Packers, so I sat him, again. It came back to haunt me once more, as I lost this week.

Week 1 : 422 Yards, 2 TD, 1 Int, 1 Rush TD
Week 2 : 432 Yards, 1 TD, 3 Int

Now those 3 picks look nasty, but in the fantasy world, they cancel out that 1 TD and I’m looking at a QB who threw for 432 yards. In most leagues, that equates to about 35 points. I’d take that anyway, and I should have.

Seeing how many yards Cam threw got me thinking…. Who the heck is this guy throwing to?? Steve Smith caught for a majority of those with 156, but who accounted for those other 276?

Well, Jonathan Stewart caught 8 passes for 100 yards. Jeremy Shockey got 46. Greg Olsen only caught 1 pass for 34. Brandon LaFell grabbed 4 receptions for 49 yards. He’s distributing the ball well.

Another thing that stood out was Carolina’s leading rusher. It’s Cam Newton. So far, he leads a team that boasts a duo of great running backs with 71 yards. Jonathan Stewart and Deangelo Williams have a combined 74 yards in two games. This concerns me.

Ah well, 854 yards in his first two games. Cry me a river, right?


San Francisco (-2.5) over Cincinnati
Playing in Cincinnati, still like the 49ers in this one.

Buffalo (+9) over New England
Division rivals, plus Buffalo has a healthy run game. I expect this to be close enough to take the points.

Houston (+4) over New Orleans
The Texans are on fire. Even with Schaub being mediocre, I think they’ll win in New Orleans.

Eagles (-1) over New York Giants
The Giants barely scraped by the Rams. Philly’s home opener.

Cleveland (-3) over Miami
Meh… why not? Whatever. You got a good idea on this?

Denver (+7) over Tennessee
The Titans upset Baltimore last week, but I think this game’s gonna be close. Tebow is finding his way into the offense and Orton is solid enough to keep it close.

Detroit (-3.5) over Minnesota
I think D-town is gonna stay hot. I think McNabb is gonna stay losing.

Carolina (-3.5) over Jacksonville
Panthers first win of the season. Actually, J-Ville will probably win this one….

San Diego (-15) over Kansas City
Jamaal Charles is out. Matt Cassel looks terrible.

Oakland (+3) over New York Jets
The Jets travel to the Bay Area. I like what I’m seeing from dem Raydahs.

Baltimore (-3.5) over St. Louis
St. Louis is still trying to figure out their offense. Let Baltimore’s D figure it out for them.

Atlanta (+1.5) over Tampa Bay
I don’t understand how this is so close. Falcons upset the Iggles, Tampa Bay hasn’t won a game yet. This is fishy, but I guess I’ll take Atlanta.

Arizona (-3) over Seattle
NFC Division Rivalry! Oh boy!

Green Bay (-3.5) over Chicago
Hopefully Green Bay doesn’t give up 17 points in the first half.

Pittsburgh (-10.5) over Indianapolis
I don’t like the big spread on this, cuz I think ol’ Kerry Collins can keep you in a game, just not win it, but I’m going Pitt.

Dallas (-1.5) over Washington
How is Dallas getting all the night games? I think both of these teams are going to be (2-1) when all is said and done.

*Lines taken from SportsBetting.com


Get Outta Delaware Park Week 13:Rocky Mountain High

December 4, 2010 Randy Neil

Adam’s a little busy this week to make the picks, so aside from panicking desperately that another blog has woo’d my writer, I’m gonna go ahead and take my attempt at picking the NFL lines.

Mind you, I went 1/5 last week and I’ve been in Colorado the past 5 days inhaling rocky mountain air and organic granola burritos, so I can’t be held accountable for the ridiculous amount of money you could lose if you happen to listen to these. So lets gooooooooo.

Buffalo +5 over Minnesota – Even though the Vikings won with their new coach last week, Buffalo has been a legit contender losing 3/4 last games in OT.  Field goals for every one.

Miami -5 over Cleveland – Chad Henne is coming back.  Ricky Williams is getting high in the parking lot.  They are at home (and don’t have many wins there) but I gotta think with Jake Delhomme making his 2nd start since injury, picks will be in abundance.

Jacksonville +3.5 over Tennessee – Yeaaaaa Rusty Smith making his 2nd start for the Titans after throwing 3 pics and getting shut out by the Texans last week.  The Jags have been upsetting and holding their own.

Denver +10 over Kansas City – I have no idea about this game.  Who knows what Denver team is going to show up, and Kansas City has literally gotten it’s biggest favored margin in what like 6 years?

Washington +7.5 over New York Giants – I think the Giants are gonna win, but McNabb can always keep a team in a game.  A touchdown sounds about right.

Chicago -5 over Detroit – Ugh.  I feel sick about this.  Chicago at this point has to be considered legit though.

Green Bay -9.5 over San Francisco – Cannot play with em.  Cannot win with em.  Cannot coach with em.  Can’t do it.  I want winners.  I want people who want to win.  Aaron Rodgers will do that.

New Orleans -7 over Cincinnati – I wonder if at any point in the game, Carson Palmer trade’s uniforms with his brother, and he goes out and plays a quarter or two.  New Orleans secondary vs. ANY Palmer?  Yea, I’ll take NO.

Atlanta -3 over Tampa Bay – I think this is the point where Tampa Bay stops being considered a playoff contender team.  September seems like a long long time ago, and with the Falcons rolling, Matty Ice is gonna destroy.  Honestly, if I could though, I’d push.  I could see Atlanta winning by a field goal.

Oakland +13.5 over San Diego – These two teams always play hard.  I don’t see the Raiders winning, but I don’t see San Diego up by two TDs by the end of the game.  It really all depends on what Oakland we’re gonna see.

Seattle -4.5 over Carolina – Uhhhhh seriously?  I know the Seahawks aren’t that good, but John Fox is literally mailing it in the rest of the season.  Jonathan Stewart is back you say?  Who gives a shit.  Lofa Tatupu could handle the entire O line himself.

Dallas +5.5 over Indianapolis – I smell an upset.

St. Louis -3.5 over Arizona – Well, Derek Anderson could back up all the insane jabber that came out of his mouth in that post game interview, but most likely he’s just going to continue sucking and enjoy his fifteen minutes.  Sam Bradford IS the best QB coming out of last year’s draft, and the Rams are for sure a better team than San Francisco.

Pittsburgh +3 over Baltimore – I actually don’t understand this line at all.  The Ravens have lost almost every game against Pitt except earlier this year when Charlie Batch was QB and it was only by a late field goal.  Big Ben ain’t hurt.  He ain’t going nowhere.

New England -3.5 over New York Jets – I’d feel a lot more comfortable if the line was 3.  It’s going to be a close game, but I have to take experience (and cheating) over shit talking and a lucky record.  Rex Ryan is a douche.

Don’t you feel confident about those picks now?