Tag Archive: magic johnson looks like shrek

Magic Johnson is Shrek; Pryor Skips Senior Season

June 8, 2011 Randy Neil

Can you hear that chewing noise? That’s me, eating my words from last week. The Dallas/Heat series is tied up, and every game has been remarkably close. I’m still sticking to my guns in regards to the Heat winning the NBA Finals, but maybe this will carry to game 7 and actually be a good series. Sometimes I forget that David Stern cares about revenue, and more games = more ad revenue.

I can’t even break this series down very well because both teams are shooting poorly. It’s low scoring, smothering defense that’s taking the forefront of play, and the only people making the highlight reels are Dirk, Lebron, and Wade. I guess that’s how it should be. Bosh has been having some nasty slam dunks, but I imagine since he’s been flopping like a bitch so much, ESPN has chosen not to air his highlights. Not today Count Floppula. You guys like that? I made it up myself. :D

It’s funny to see celebrities Tweet out to each other. I guess I’m using ‘celebrity’ loosely, because I’m referring to Stuart Scott and Spencer Hawes. Both of them were Tweeting to Jason Terry last night during the game. Everyone was criticizing Terry’s poor play in the first 3 games of the finals, and since he decided to show up last night, his celeb friends decided to congratulate him. “That’s nasty!! @jasonterry31” Indeed it is, Mr. Stuart.

My favorite Tweets :

WatchJ J-Breezy The Poet
Hands down… Jason Terry is the best 3rd grader to ever play in the NBA
jose3030 jose3030
Jason Terry, on his post game presser, will attempt to enunciate every word in the Webster’s Dictionary

Mmmm… good stuff. Can I also add that Magic Johnson is my least favorite NBA analyst of all time? Aside from demanding to be introduced as “Future Hall of Famer, Legendary Player, 5-time NBA Champion, 3-time MVP, 12-time NBA All-Star, Shrek Looking, Magic Johnson” literally every time he is addressed, he interrupts better analysts with terribly repetitive speeches that soak up too much air time, and make us all less intelligent. We get it Magic. You were a great player, but you suck as an analyst and mentor.

You can’t interrupt your fellow co-hosts and say something like, “Lebron has to play his game. He can’t worry about what Wade’s doing, or what Bosh is doing, he’s got to focus on being the dominate Lebron James.” For fuck’s sake Magic. How is he not supposed to worry about what Wade is doing when they are still having a power struggle for the closer in games? You have two superstar-caliber players in almost the exact same role trying to win a game. Then, when Lebron opts to be more of a facilitator and handle assists, his points stat is obviously hurt, and you give him shit. There needs to be a quiz for former athletes to take before they are given a microphone.

Along with Jim Tressel, Terrelle Pryor is continuing to make headlines for OSU with his announcement of plans to skip his senior season. Scandal abound, Pryor was already set to miss the first 5 games of the season as punishment for “receiving benefits” that violate NCAA rules. Now the kid has to wait for the 2012 NFL Draft without playing ball on the national level. Well, that’s not entirely true. People have already suggested he could play in the Canadian Football League for a season. Yea, that sounds like a great idea….

This is a pretty big deal though. This whole scandal with Tressel and Pryor, it’s making headlines. At first, I thought it was ridiculous that their was so much shame involved in something that everyone was guilty of. Clearly, OSU is being made an example, and some people are going to have to suffer because of it. On the other hand, maybe this is what the national press and the NCAA need to start to change their ideals about college players. Hopefully, this can be a catalyst for the NCAA to change their regulations on the matter and start treating this system a little more realistically. There is too much fame and credit given to a young athlete that’s not being paid.

Also… to the fellow teammates of Pryor who are ratting him out for the incentives he received…. Ya’ll some snitches. That is all.

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