Hope Solo married Jerramy Stevens on Tuesday–as some astute commentor on Yahoo! pointed out, ‘Who gets married on a Tuesday?’–but the real story is what went down BEFORE they got married. Because I am lazy, allow me to copy and paste the police report from the Seattle Post-Intelligencer courtesy of Yahoo!:
“According to the Seattle Post-Intelligencer, Marcus Solo (Hope’s brother) was the one who called Kirkland police, and when police came to the scene, he had blood on his forehead and knees, and a bruised eye. Hope solo then emerged from the house, intoxicated and with a laceration on her elbow. She did not cooperate with police and told her brother not to say anything. When police swept the house, they found eight intoxicated people, a woman in the kitchen with a hip injury, and Stevens on the floor of an upstairs bedroom, claiming that he was sleeping, not hiding.
Stevens had blood on his cheek and his shirt. He admitted that he had been arguing with Solo, and since police have to make an arrest when there is a domestic violence call, Stevens was arrested and charged with fourth-degree assault.”
My favorite part about the story is when the police found 8 intoxicated people in the house and a woman in the kitchen with a hip injury. WHAT IN THE WORLD WENT DOWN? Nobody knows…even those present, I’m sure…but apparently it wasn’t enough to deter the two love birds from tying the knot. Sala.
Now, there are a lot of terrible stories out there about Stevens, and he most definitely is a despicable character, but my favorite memory of him is way back on Monday night football when he played for the Seahawks and he pissed off a Raider so bad (I think it was Tyler Brayton?) that Brayton grabbed Stevens and kneed him in the balls. (Exhibit A is to your left).
The weirdest part of that altercation? Stevens didn’t even act like it hurt. He just laughed. I don’t know ANYBODY that would be laughing after getting kneed in the junk by a 250-pound D-lineman.
Also, that was the night they let Christian Slater and his percocet into the Monday night football booth and he marveled at a punt by the Raiders. Not the play, mind you, just how high the ball went saying (with genuine glee like he had NEVER seen a ball get punted before) “WHOAAA! LOOK AT THAT!”
Good stuff. Somebody needs to find that and put it on Youtube ASAP.
I finished the half marathon last Saturday in Richmond and if you’ve never run one, I highly recommend it. Especially in Richmond. Now, it’s the only one I’ve ever run in so I’m sure they do this in other cities, but the whole town completely shuts down for the race. People come out of their houses and cheer you on, some of them hand out gummie bears, some of them hand out shots of Natty Light and Whiskey.
I was having none of it, however, as I had my eye on the prize! That prize: Beating my brother’s time from last year of course! Nothing wrong with a little spirited brotherly competition.
So when I crossed the finish line in 1:54:39, I thought that I had won!
Until I got back to my Uncle and Aunt’s house and looked up his time from last year:
Next year, it’s on!
And we’re buying a championship belt for whoever wins.