Tag Archive: grantland

$80 Paper Weight Now Available!

December 20, 2012 Adam Thomas

b39189b614964994815fd342815596e9_820x820A Year of Grantland: Issues 1-4 is now available at the bargain price of only $80!  Can you believe it?  I thought it’d be well into the thousands, but no, for only a mere $80, you can get stale pop culture references that you won’t understand and overrated articles from the likes of Chuck Klosterman.

Remember how much fun it was to talk about the NBA lockout? Neither do I! But now you’ll get to relieve that thrilling bit of history for only $80!

Now, granted, you could probably just google “NBA Lockout Grantland” and read about it FOR FREE from their FREE WEBSITE but why bother to do that when you can pay actual money for it?

It also comes with an exclusive DVD so you can watch Bill Simmons interview Arnold Schwarzenegger! Hooray!

Seriously though. This is the stupidest thing I’ve ever seen. Please do not buy this piece of garbage.

Now, for those of you looking to buy an actual book for a loved one for the holidays, may I suggest that you purchase “A Year of theHeadrush: the Complete Unabridged Works.” Check back in tomorrow when we will be selling this incredible piece of literary history for a mere $79. Why pay $80 when you can pay $79? It is WELL  worth the price. Trust me.


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Stick to What you Know

October 17, 2011 Adam Thomas

“You can see through this stuff sometimes, and you know Al Davis just died, obviously had a great career and did a lot of good things but it seems when people die sometimes, the narrative…you know ‘They’re doing this for Al Davis’ and all that, and in this case, I really doubt the Raiders had that much of a connection with Al Davis” –Bill Simmons, B.S. Report 10/14 with Al Michaels.

“He used to come out to practices and say hi,” Boyd said. “I came in as a free agent, so I didn’t think he knew everything about me, but the first time I met him he went all the way back to my high school years. He knew about everything from my high school years till I came here for the first time. It was amazing for somebody to know everything about everybody” –Raiders safety Jerome Boyd on Al Davis from Steve Corkran’s 10/10 Inside Bay Area Buzz column

“When I first got here, Al called me and the first thing he said was, ‘The last time I saw you, you were running around this facility knocking things over,’ ” — lineback Bruce Davis II (who consequently was cut to make room for Aaron Curry) on Al Davis from the same article.

There is also a video where Darrius Heyward-Bey said that Davis would call him every Christmas and that Davis meant a lot to him.

The point I am trying to make here is that making a statement such as “I doubt the Raiders had that much of a connection with Al Davis”–perhaps the most hands on owner in the NFL up until his death–is just asinine. Bill Simmons is good at what he knows: which is Boston Sports.

He clearly does not read any Bay area papers (although he does live in the perpetually warm and sunny L.A.) or he would’ve been able to read countless statements like the ones above from CURRENT players about how much Al Davis meant to them.

The quotes above are from no-name players (raise your hand if you knew who they were).  I know them because I read a Raiders’ article every day.  If Davis did that kind of stuff for them, imagine what he did for Darren McFadden or Richard Seymour, other than pay them millions of dollars.

Simmons is very entertaining and I like listening to his podcasts, but every once in a while, he makes statements like these that just drive me completely nuts. Stick to what you know, Bill.  Tom Hanks, Boston sports and reality TV please.


Don’t Tug on Superman’s Cape

September 4, 2011 Adam Thomas

1.) Grantland, it’s bad enough that all you turned out to be is a massive disappointment, churning out articles that read like a “try to write like Bill Simmons” contest, but now you’re going after the Phillies, and more specifically, Ryan Howard. In his article “Father Time and the Philadelphia Phillies,” Rany Jazayerli takes on the Phillies and how they are old and won’t be good in the not so distant future. A few points about this article:

He writes: “We’re almost halfway through this column and I haven’t mentioned a hitter yet. There’s a reason for that — the Phillies’ offense isn’t particularly good. After finishing first or second in the NL in runs scored every year from 2005 to 2010, the Phillies have dropped to sixth this season.”

First of all, sixth is not all that bad, especially not when you have top pitching.  But it should be noted that while the Phillies are sixth for the season, they are the second highest scoring offense since Chase Utley returned. Before Utley returned, they were 12th in the NL.  They are now 6th.  That is a pretty significant jump, and since they acquired Hunter Pence, they have been the best offensive team in the NL. (Thanks to the goodphight.com for the stats).

Does the author mention this?  Nope.  He just says that the offense is bad.

On Ryan Howard, Rany says that he is “Clearly past his prime.” Which is funny because he posted this the day after Howard hit 2 HRs and reached another 30 HR, 100 RBI season.

Here is what really pissed me off about this article, he mentions how the Atlanta Braves have two stud rookies this year, and they had Jason Heyward last year who, “had one of the best seasons by a 20-year-old hitter in decades.”

But that’s it for Heyward, he had a good season LAST year. Why doesn’t Rany bring up the fact that this year, Heyward is TERRIBLE. Here are his stats: .220, 13 HR, 39 RBIs, 43 R, 6 SB.  Holy shit!  Watch out Philly!

Now, am I saying that Heyward is going to suck like this forever?  No.  Maybe he is just having a down year.  But to bring up a guy who had a good year last year and then not mention that he is horrible this year is bad writing. You can’t use that to strengthen your argument, especially while shitting all over Ryan Howard in the process.

You want a Ryan Howard stat?  Here’s one: most RBI’s through 1000 games in MLB history 1.) Ted Williams 2.) RYAN HOWARD 3.) Babe Ruth.   Most HR through 1000 games: 1.) RYAN HOWARD 2.) Ralph Kiner 3.) Babe Ruth.

I’m sure mad that the Phillies have that guy on their team for the next five years…

Also, if the Phillies mortgaged their future to win it all this year, and they actually win the World Series, who gives a shit?  You think the Giants would trade in their World Series last year just to be competitive for the next 5 years?  Cause I don’t.

2.) I read an article in Sports Illustrated about the Brewers and here are some highlights.  Nyjer Morgan walks around the clubhouse covered in baby oil, they play naked golf in the clubhouse and they growl at each other like the monsters in Monsters Inc. after they get hits.  If I were the Phillies I would be peeing myself in fear.

3.) Of all the WWE Attitude Era catch phrases, one that doesn’t get enough love is “Welcome to…RAW…IS…JERICHO!” Another thing about the Attitude Era that I feel gets forgotten is just how terrible HHH was.  He literally married the boss’s daughter and then inserted himself into the main events.  I always remember thinking, “Get out of here HHH!”  You’re getting in the way of The Rock vs. Stone Cold Steve Austin!

That’s it.  I’m in the final week of wedding planning and am incredibly tired. This is my last column for 2 weeks as I go off and tour Costa Rica. So Randy and a NEW writer (I’m not gonna spoil the surprise) will handle things.

Thanks for reading and I’ll see you all with the NFL picks later in the week!

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