This draft seemed like it was one of the crappiest in recent memory. Who are these guys? They all look like they are 13 years old and none of them look particularly dominant in the high light videos that they showed.
Case in point: The ATL Falcons traded next years first and a bunch of other picks to trade up and grab Julio Jones. After they did, the first video ESPN showed was Julio Jones dropping a ton of easy passes. Then this morning, a Yahoo columnist declares the Falcons winners for taking him. Wait…what?
The Falcons did a stupid thing. Can you imagine if the Raiders made that trade? Good God all mighty, everyone would be ripping them to shreds! So to the Falcons, I bestow them with my dumbest move of the draft (DMOD) award.
1.) DUMBEST MOVE OF THE DRAFT: Falcons
2.) SECOND DUMBEST MOVE OF THE DRAFT: Panthers. We’ve seen this movie before. We know how it’s gonna end. Did you see Cam Newton’s dad? He looked like and spoke like a crooked Jesse Jackson. “I don’t…care if he’s…Mr. Irrelevant. GOD IS GOOD! GOD IS GOOD!” What Cam’s dad was obviously trying to say was “CHA-CHING! CHA-CHING!” Sad day for the Panthers, they just won’t realize it until 2013. Cam Newton acts like an entitled prick and he is gonna hold out for millions and then suck up the joint when he gets his chance to start.
3.) THIRD DUMBEST MOVE OF THE DRAFT: Broncos. Yesterday I wrote that Von Miller was going to be the bust of the draft, so I was delighted to hear the pre-draft rumors that the Broncos were gonna draft him. Then, when they did draft him and he started to cry, my dad looked at me and said, “He’s soft.” So thank you, Broncos! You made my day last year by drafting Tebow and you made it again this year by grabbing Miller!
(Note: If the Broncos trounce the Raiders on Monday Night Football with Tebow going off for 300 yds passing, 150 yads rushing and 4 tds and Miller gets 3 sacks, feel free to come on here and rip me a new one, cause really, I’m just trying to stir the pot. That’s what all us bloggers do, ya know?)
4.) FOURTH DUMBEST MOVE OF THE DRAFT: The Bears. So, let me get this straight, they wanted to trade with the Ravens but didn’t confirm it with the league, which made the Ravens lose their spot to the Chiefs. Who in the world is running the Bears? If that happened in a fantasy football draft, holy balls people would be at each others throats! I can only imagine what was being said in the Ravens war room. But at least they got that CB who is addicted to codein syrup. Nothing bad has ever come from a little syzzzurp, right?
Best Moves of the draft:
1.) Lions grabbing Fairley, the DT from Auburn. I’ve always wondered why more teams don’t just build on their strengths. The Lions have a great DT already, why not make him even better by pairing him with the guy who was projected to go number one just a month ago?
2.) Chiefs. Good Lord, that was a nice pick getting that WR from Pitt. The Chiefs are winning the AFC West again next year.
3.) Saints getting Mark Ingram. Fourth round fantasy pick anybody?
4.) Cardinals getting Patrick Peterson. He was the best player in the draft. Why don’t teams at number one go with the best player? The QB thing works out once out of every 30000 picks. It makes no sense to me. For every Peyton Manning there are 30 JaMarcus’s.
Ah well, that’s the way the cookie crumbles. Rounds two and three are tonight. Enjoy!