April 27, 2012
Adam Thomas
1.) My favorite commercial on TV right now has to be the Bud Light commercial with Pitbull where he takes a Bud Light from the waitress says, “Daddy!” Or something like that and then strolls through a room filled with people 8 feet taller than him. He looks so damn tiny in that commercial, and while he is trying to look tough, it seems like he would need a step stool to look over the bar.
2.) That show “Girls” on HBO is incredibly, mind-blowingly awful. I watched it because it is produced my Judd Apatow and it got really great reviews, but man alive, it sucks. I can’t even remember a single character’s name, and the main girl is annoying as all get out. The show reminds me of a Radiohead album. Before it comes out, it already gets 4 stars from the critics no matter how average it is.
Just because a show is set in New York and is on HBO doesn’t mean that it’s automatically good. Don’t waste your 30 minutes on that show.
3.) Instead, waste it on the excellent third season of Eastbound and Down. Holy crap, I just watched the fourth episode and it featured perhaps the funniest moment in television. I don’t want to spoil it for everyone (like I did in a text to Randy yesterday), but it is a breakout episode for Stevie, and (mini-spoiler!) the hilarious moment in question features Candlebox. Enough said.
4.) The NFL Draft started last night, and because megalomaniac Hue Jackson decided to go “all in” with Carson Palmer (which never works), the Raiders were left without a first round pick. Which sucks, cause the draft is AWESOME! And boy oh boy were there trades galore yesterday.
My favorite pick? Morris Claiborne to the Dallas Cowboys! You know why? Cause Claiborne only got 4 questions correct on the Wonderlic test, and here is his rationale via Profootballtalk via Sirius via USA Today: “That test don’t tell me who I am and what [type] of guy I am and what kind of ability I have,” Claiborne told SiriusXM NFL Radio, via USA Today. “That test can’t drop me. They say it’s an IQ test,” Claiborne added. “I came to the Combine for football. I looked at the test, and wasn’t any questions about football. I didn’t see no point in the test. I’m not in school anymore. I didn’t complete it. I only finished 15 or 18 questions.”
And they say athletes don’t care about their education! I would be really interested to see what classes Claiborne took whilst at LSU. “Basic Shapes” and “The Number After 2” sounds about right.
5.) The worst pick? Let’s just go with Bruce Irvin to the Seahawks.
Oh no, wait, let’s go with the Browns selecting a Quarterback who has never played in the NFL and is already older than Aaron Rodgers. That’s why the Browns will always be the Browns.
I also love the ESPN draft analysis. This morning on Sportscenter, here is what Jon Gruden said about Quarterback Ryan Tannehill: “You know what I love about this kid? It’s that he can throw the football.” Well, I would HOPE that he can throw the ball. That is just a tiny requirement made of all quarterbacks. Gruden just made $100,000 dollars for saying that.
6.) Ron Artest should be banned for life from the NBA. What a moron. I know that when I’m celebrating, my first instinct is to elbow the crap out of the player closest to me.
7.) Remember that song, “If you’re friends with P then you’re friends with me. If you’re down with P then you’re down with me.” I don’t have anything to add other than, do you remember it?
8.) I’ve gotta say Phillies fans, being only 3 games back from Atlanta for the wildcard when the Phils are playing arguably their worst baseball in the past 4 years is not a bad thing. Be worried NL East, be very worried…
That’s all for me, until next time!
Free agency is always one of the most exciting and mind boggling times of the NFL year. Exciting because players move around nimbly bimbly from team to team, and mind boggling because teams are always declared ‘Winners’ and ‘Losers.’ The fact of the matter is that most of the time, the ‘Winners’ of free agency are still ‘Losers’ when it comes time to play actual football. Don’t believe me? Well then let’s take a look at some of last year’s supposed ‘Winners’ according to John Clayton from ESPN.