All Posts Tagged bill simmons

$80 Paper Weight Now Available!

A Year of Grantland: Issues 1-4 is now available at the bargain price of only $80!  Can you believe it?  I thought it’d be well into the thousands, but no, for only a mere $80, you can get stale pop culture references that you won’t understand and overrated articles from the likes of Chuck Klosterman. Remember how much fun it was to talk about the NBA lockout? Neither do I! But now you’ll get to relieve that thrilling bit of history for only $80! Now, granted, you could probably just google “NBA Lockout Grantland” and read about it FOR…

Keep Reading

Reverse Jinx FAIL

1.) If you didn’t already figure it out, I was hoping that yesterday’s post would prove to be enough of a reverse jinx to prevent the Heat from winning the title (sort of like what happened to the Wolfman in fantasy football). But alas, that was not the case. Lebron proved to much for the Thunder, and the geek finally got his championship. Drats. Once again, we must be reminded of the harsh lesson learned from the soused mind of Don Draper: “The universe is indifferent.” Indeed. 2.) I skimmed Bill Simmons column yesterday and in it he left this…

Keep Reading

Cleaning Up Like Danny Tanner

Hey, I’m a cartoon now! Sweet! 1.) Here is all you need to know about how obnoxious ESPN’s coverage of Jeremy Lin has gotten: Last night the Knicks played the Heat and you know what?  I was rooting for the Heat to win! Goodness, it hurts to write that, but it’s true!  I would’ve rather had Lebron James destroy those fools and put a (albeit brief) stop to all the Jeremy Lin madness. Look, I get it, it’s rare that something like this happens. But on Saturday morning, I turned on ESPN and they had an interview with Lin…

Keep Reading

Wildcard Bitches!

Alrighty then!  The NFL was fun while it lasted but now it’s time to get down to business. No more slogging through terrible Jets games or being stuck watching the Browns and the Bills.  Now it’s only the big boys so let’s get the picks, shall we? Denver +8.5 over the Steelers.  As a matter of fact, I am going to go out a limb and say that Denver just flat out BEATS the Steelers. Look, I watched the Steelers play the Browns last week and they looked turrible!  I know the Donkeys did too, but still, I just…

Keep Reading

Don’t Tug on Superman’s Cape

1.) Grantland, it’s bad enough that all you turned out to be is a massive disappointment, churning out articles that read like a “try to write like Bill Simmons” contest, but now you’re going after the Phillies, and more specifically, Ryan Howard. In his article “Father Time and the Philadelphia Phillies,” Rany Jazayerli takes on the Phillies and how they are old and won’t be good in the not so distant future. A few points about this article: He writes: “We’re almost halfway through this column and I haven’t mentioned a hitter yet. There’s a reason for that —…

Keep Reading