Zanny the Nanny and Manny
1.) Man, glad that trial is over! Just kidding, to be honest, I didn’t even know what trial everyone was talking about. I logged onto Facebook, saw a bunch of people pissed off about some verdict, screaming things like: “How could they! I’m STUNNED!” “First OJ and now THIS!” And I was instantly curious. I went over to Yahoo, saw some crazy lady smiling in a courtroom and deduced that this was what all the hub-bub was about.
I wanted to learn more, so I read a few articles about this circus, and you know what the craziest part about it all was? The lady accused of killing her child made up some story about how a nanny stole her. And you know what the fictional nanny’s name was? ZANNY! That’s right, the best fake name she could come up with was Zanny the Nanny. Which instantly reminded me of Crentist the Dentist from that episode of The Office.
Zanny the Nanny. Good God. I think Sherlock Holmes would’ve smacked her over the head with his bubble pipe right then and there.
2.) Moving on to…MANNY! My cat Manny (who is not the cat pictured to the right) tried to escape our apartment this morning. I was saying bye to my fiance as she left for work, and I had coffee in one hand so as he made his escape, I couldn’t just reach down and pick him up. When he got about half way out the door, my only reaction was to close it. So I did, only he was still halfway out the door and I slammed it on him. No, it didn’t close all the way, it just whacked him in the side, but still, I feel really bad about it. So I’m sorry, Manny. If we ever get internet again at our apartment or you somehow learn to read, I know that you will appreciate this apology.
3.) I got a bunch of X-Files DVDs from the library and not only is that show AWESOME but it also might be the worst show in the history of the world to eat food to. Case in point: I started watching an episode last night, sitting down to a nice overcooked chicken taco dinner, and guess what happened in the first 2 minutes? A couple is making out in their car, when the dude pukes up some green goop into the gals mouth and then spreads this ooze all over her body, turning her into a cocoon. Ick. Later, while performing the autopsy, Scully sticks her in the freezer and her body just turns to this red jello-ish liquid. Yummy.
By the way, you know who is a bad ass who never gets enough credit? FBI Assistant Director Walter SKINNER! Holy crap, that guy is awesome.
4.) Remember that song “Closer to Free” by the Bodeans that opened Party of Five? Or how about “Your Woman” by White Town? Man, the 90’s were ripe with one “hit” wonders. Why do I bring this up? Cause they both came up on my 90’s mix while I was running at the reservoir yesterday morning. They were both instantly skipped, not the type of music you wanna run to. A surprisingly good song to run to? “Superman” by Goldfinger, also from Tony Hawk Pro Skater fame. Of course, it did make me run at a rate that was impossible to maintain and left me sucking air after like 2 minutes, but that’s cause I’m out of shape. I don’t blame the song. I blame my love of beer and chips.
5.) While we’re on the subject of songs, can musicians PLEASE stop rhyming “Girl” with “World?” I know I’ve talked about this before but goodness gracious fellas, use a rhyming dictionary! “Pearl, Squirrel, Earl, Burl, Hurl, Swirl, Twirl” (Thanks Rhymezone) they ALL work just as good!
6.) I just read a review of Kevin James’ movie “The Zookeeper” where they said a wolf tells James to mark his territory so he pees on a concession stand or some sort of nonsense. Comic gold. When did it become easy to star in a Hollywood movie just as long as you’re fat and will do absolutely anything for a pay check?
7.) Oh, yeah, this is a sports blog. Phils and Braves duke it out this weekend and let me tell you, it should be a doozy. Of course, it doesn’t mean much at this point in the season (I seem to remember the Braves holding some kind of lead over the Phillies that seemed insurmountable last year) but it should be fun to watch. Now THAT is sporting analysis!
Enjoy the weekend!
That time of year is almost here! October baseball! Getting drunk almost every day, spending a crap ton of money, eating horrific food, and losing your voice from yelling at a television…. all the good things in store that literally destroy your body in a one month span. Yes I’m aware that wasn’t a sentence, but fuck it! It’s October baseball!!
Tonight the Phillies start a 3 game series which stands to be the most important of the season. The Braves come into Philadelphia looking to decrease the lead the Phillies have right now in the N.L. East. It’s going to be an epic battle!!