Tag Archive: Alabama

Delaware Park Parlay Card Part Deux

January 9, 2013 Adam Thomas

nick-sabanAlright, alright, alright.  After nailing last week’s DE Park Parlay card, I thought that I would try it again. But we’ll get to that later, first, I have some thoughts.

1.) Ray Lewis is a tool. And by that I mean he is perhaps the biggest tool I have ever witnessed. I genuinely despise him and all of his dancing. And how in the world can anyone take him serious when he is wearing those black ballet pants dancing to Nelly’s ‘It’s Hot in Here?’  Really?  Hot in here? That’s the song that’s gonna get you pumped up to play football? That song is for grinding awkwardly at 8th grade dances, not for the grid iron.

2.) Speaking of hall of fame middle linebackers, Rolando McClain was recently arrested for giving a false name to law enforcement after receiving a ticket for having windows that were too tinted. The name he wrote when he signed the ticket? “F*** Ya’ll”  The cops looked at the ticket and asked him to put his real name on the ticket and he answered, “That is my name.” And then he got arrested.  Surprising.  Afterwards he claimed the police were out to get him. Or maybe, MAYBE, he is just an idiot.

3.) The worst writer on the internet right now is Michael Silver.  I can’t stand that guy. He just wrote an article trolling Nick Saban basically saying, ‘Sure, you won your 3rd national championship in 4 years, but you can’t make it as an NFL coach!’ Saban’s reply was probably something along the lines of…..”Ok.”

Burned!  You’re the best at your profession but you would totally suck at this other profession, Nick!  Damn, Silver got him.

Also funny, Michael Silver is good buddies with former Raiders head coach Hue Jackson.  How good of buddies do you ask?  I just went through Silver’s last 10 articles and he mentions Jackson in 4 of them. That’s just good journalism right there. If there is a person that people want to hear from, it’s definitely the defensive backs coach for the Cincinnati Bengals!

Silver is the worst.

Alright, ranting over, now onto the picks!

I like:

Seattle +2.5 over the Falcons, then I will pick the Broncos and the Patriots straight up.

Good luck to those of you betting real money!



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It’s Christmas Time!

December 4, 2011 Adam Thomas

It’s the most wonderful time of the year.  You know why?  A.) Because it’s Christmas.  B.) Because it’s my birthday.  BOOM!  Double whammy.

You know, every time that I tell someone I was born on Christmas, they give me this consolling face and they’re like, “Aw, I’m so sorry. You must get shorted on presents.”  And then I always have to explain that no, in fact, it was just the opposite because I am so very lucky to have a family that SPOILED ME ROTTEN with presents. It always makes me feel like a jerk, but hey, who the heck are you telling me that it sucks to be born on Christmas?  You know who else was born on Christmas?  Ricky Henderson.  Yeah.  And he turned out ok.  Anyway, on to the numbers!

1.) Best Christmas album?  The Muppets and John Denver.  Especially hillarious when Ms. Piggy thinks they are saying “Bring us some PIGGY pudding instead of “FIGGY pudding.”  Good stuff.

Runner up would have to be Amy Grant’s “A Christmas Album.”  Not only is the album incredibly dated with 80s synths bounding through the tracks like reindeer, but there is this one song “Love Has Come” that might have the most hilarious moment in recorded history.  So she gets through the chorus fine, and is about to go into the chorus for a second time when out of NOWHERE this background singer–who must’ve forgot that he’s recording with Amy Grant and not REO Speedwagon–just absolutely BELLOWS out the words “DON’T YOU KNOW THAT!!!!” I have to rewind the tape every time I hear it.  Also, when he does it for the last time, his voice cracks like nobody’s business and he just says “Don’t you know!!!!!!!!” And he sounds like a wounded Rottweiller howling at the moon.  Good stuff.

2.) Best Christmas movie?  The original Grinch, not that Jim Carey nonsense.  And who cares if the Grinch wears no pants and breaks into Who homes and takes all their stuff. The best part of that movie is when he plays pool with the Christmas ornaments.

Runner up is Home Alone. The movie that taught us that it’s ok to fight off grown men when they come to rob your house.  In real life, Culkin just gets shot or crow barred to the face, right?

3.) Stef and I watched The Family Stone the other night, and you know what?  Don’t ever watch that movie.  The Family Stone are a bunch of assholes.

4.) My bold NFL Prediction for the week is this: The Dolphins beat the Raiders, then Denver beats Minnesota, then we have to endure an entire week of the Tebow love fest (will someone just go for his knees already?), only to have the Raiders beat Green Bay and end their undfeated streak the next week and Denver lose to whoever they are playing.  Take it to the bank.

5.) I watched the Houston college football game yesterday and anyone who thought that they should’e been playing for the national championship just because they were undefeated is deusional as all get out.  That team would get MURDERED by LSU.  I’d like to see Oklahoma State get a chance at LSU, but lets face it, the only team with a real shot at taking down the Honey Badger and company is Alabama.

6.) Kentucky played UNC yesterday and it was AWESOME! Especially the end, where a UK player blocked a shot with 5 seconds left, and instead of fouling, UNC just gave up. Can all UK games end like this please?

7.) Screw you Jimmy Graham and Drew Brees!  I was up by 49 pts in a $50 buy-in fantasy league before they played on Monday night, and then I wake up at midnight to see how they did and WHAT THE HELL!  Brees threw 5 TDs and 2 of those were to Graham!  I didn’t even need to check the score, I knew I was beaten.  So farewell $50 league, luckily I still have another and then Randy’s league where I need to win to make the playoffs.  Fingers crossed!

Three team tease for this week:

KC +7 at Chicago

Carolina +2 at Tampa Bay

Denver -1 at Minnesota

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Great Rebounds in Cinematic History

November 7, 2011 Adam Thomas

1.) I watched “That Thing You Do” last weekend and even though it basically devoles into a skin-a-max movie in the last 5 minutes–Guy and Faye walk back into the hotel after making out on the street, and Guy says to Lemar, the magical hotel bell boy who loves his job (or does he own the hotel? He does call it “My hotel” but what hotel owner would also work as a bell boy?) “Watch my bags Lemar…”  Lemar smiles creepily into the camera and says, “That’s what I do!”–End of movie. So that’s what Lemar does? Watch people’s bags while they go get it on? What kind of hotel operation is that man running?  Ick.

By the way, Hanks is a huge Raiders fan (arn’t we all?) and so the pizza place where the Oneders play at the beginning is called “Villapianos” after Raiders great Phil Villapiano, and there was a deleted scene where Hanks’ character–who was supposed to be gay–gets picked up by his boyfriend and the boyfriend is played by none other than Raider legend and crew cut aficionado Howie Long!  Good stuff.  Anyway, I got side-tracked…

Now, it got me thinking. Is Guy grabbing Faye–who had been dating Jimmy, the lead singer, for two years prior to her street/hotel daliance with Guy–the greatest rebound in cinematic history?  Oh man, it’s a tough call.  I went to my memory for some others:

Guy and Faye–That Thing you Do (already mentioned above)

Victor Lazlo and Isla Lund–Casablanca (probably THE greatest rebound in cinematic history cause it helped defeat the Nazi’s and end WWII, while at the same time turning Rick into one of the greatest drunks of all time).

Victor the Meat Cutter and Jan–Beautiful Girls (Two Victors in a row!)

Preston Meyers and Amanda Beckett–Can’t Hardly Wait (Basically the whole movie is based on him trying to grab this board so he gets points for persitence…and acting slightly like a psycho killer).

Jerry Maguire and Dorthy Boyd–Jerry Maguire (Our first instance of a female grabbing a male rebound)

Hot Rod and Denise–Hot Rod (Babe, wait!  Babe Wait!  BAAAAAABBBBBBEEEE!)

Mike and Lorraine–Swingers (Simultaneous rebounds)

I was gonna add Jeff from the Max grabbing Kelly after she dated Zack, but I think she cheated on Zack with Jeff so…I don’t think that counts. Also, remember that guy Professor Jeremiah Lasky from the College years?  I have nothing to add to that other than, remember him?

If you can think of more movie rebounds, please post them in the comments section.

2.) The Rams need to go back to those sweet yellow and blue uniforms that they wore last weekend when they worked the Saints. The new gold and blue ones are gross.

3.) I’m not sure how I never heard about the whole “Like Bernie” dance craze until now (about a year later), but I plan to make up for lost time.  I’ve been Bernie-ing all weekend and plan to do so whenever I go somewhere to dance or hear conga drums.

4.) The saxophone at the end of M83’s song Midnight City might be the best thing going in music right now.  That part is INSANE!  And the new album is absolutely incredible, except for the song about frogs that makes me want to karate chop the little kid talking (or the voice actor playing a little kid talking) in the throat. “And den you become a frog…would you like to play wit me?”  Shut the F up!  How did that song make the final cut?

5.) Last night the number one college football team played the number two college football team (Alabama vs. LSU) and holy balls it was a great game.  9-6.  Unfortunately, these two won’t meet in the national title game, which is a shame because they are going to absolutely curb stomb a team like Stanford or Boise State.

And just for the record, I didn’t watch the whole game, but I flipped to it during commercials as me and the wife enjoyed “Beauty and the Beast” on ABC Family. Oof, that was a tough sentence to write.

As for the three team tease, I am 0-2 on the season and I hope you’ve learned not to follow my advice by now.  Anyway, we need to keep this mildly sports related so here it is!

ATL -6.5 at Indy

Seattle +11 at Dallas

Chicago +7.5 at Philly

Enjoy the games!