Hooray! So I went to the Sixers game last night, thanks to birthday tickets from my lady, and boy oh boy was it a fun experience. Not only did I get to witness the rare act of the Sixers actually winning, but I also got to see my favorite Kentucky player from last year and this year’s number one overall pick: John Wall. Live. In person!
Of course, John Wall got ABUSED by Jrue Holiday (His stats look OK cause he padded them in the 4th when the Sixers were up by double digits, but Jrue peed on him), who played one of his best games ever and completely took over in the third quarter.
Now, one thing that bugged me about last night was the discovery of an even more obnoxiously annoying fan than the loud wife/girlfriend who doesn’t know what she’s talking about. And that is the loud, obnoxious, ten year old sons who don’t know what in the blue hell they are talking about.
We had these two brothers behind us all game spouting out incredibly incorrect trivia all night like they were the gurus of sporting knowledge. Not only did they keep spouting off insanely wrong “facts” but their dad was a dunce who couldn’t correct them because he didn’t know any more than they did about anything.
Here are some highlights. There were more but I can’t remember them all. Now, when reading these, just imagine them shouted into your ear in know-it-all pre-pubescent squeaky high pitched voices:
1.) Carmelo Anthony didn’t go to college. I’m one hundred percent sure that he didn’t go to college. (He went to Syracuse…and won a NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP you little ignoramuses!)
2.) John Wall is the only NBA rookie ever to get a triple double (Gah! Not true. Just incredibly…horrendously false. Even Stephen Curry got one last year.)
3.) Jrue Holiday went to Kentucky (UCLA. But after saying this, one of them said that Kentucky is good this year, so props for the Kentucky shout out.)
4.)The Wizards definitely have a winning record (They’re 8-25)
5.) Kapono sucks (Welp, they got one thing right)
Besides the Sixers winning, I think Kapono coming into the game had to be the highlight of the night. The crowd erupted into one angry, booing mass, with one guy down in our row standing up and screaming, “Why not just play all 12 guys tonight, Collins? Why not play me? I haven’t been in yet, either!” Burned. And I’m pretty sure Kapono heard it because there was nobody at the game and the guy was REALLY loud.
Kapono went on to get torched by every man he guarded, giving up about 10 points in a three minute stretch, clanked a three and knocked a rebound out of Nocioni’s hands and out of bounds for a Sixers turnover. Just another day at the office.
I also enjoyed this drunk guy a few rows back from us screaming “JOHN WALL! JOHN WALL! JOHN WALL!” Every time Wall touched the ball. It grew funnier as the game went on and he got more hammered.
Now, if you haven’t been to a Sixers game lately, GO. They are a lot of fun and with so many empty seats, it’s almost like NBA players are putting on a show specifically for you in your very large and very uncrowded living room. They also aren’t 4 1/2 hours long like baseball games so you’re out of there at a reasonable hour.
All in all, good win, great night.
This post was written by Adam Thomas
its funny, because I looked up Kapono and had no idea at one point he used to be the most accurate 3 point shooter in the history of the NBA. He is now 3rd place. Nocioni is the new white boy anyway.