Look, I’m not excited for these playoffs. I never am. My team made it until Week 16 until they inevitable crapped out of the picture so that made the end of the year a little bit more fun…but come on. Brady. Roethlisberger. Manning. Blah, blah and blah. F those guys. Especially the large hamburger headed newly betrothed gentleman in the middle (even though he does contribute to this very site every once in a while).
I am sick of these clowns. I want some fresh blood. Your Vick’s (no blood pun intended), Rodgers”’sss and Cutler’s. Sure they’ve all been to the playoffs before, but they’ve never won the big dance. And shoot, why can’t us? Huh? Why. Can’t. Us.
To the picks!
Seattle +10 vs. New Orleans. Look. Seattle sucks. We know this. I know it and you know it. But they play really well at home and it is the playoffs. They won’t be going down easy. They won’t be going down without swinging. They won’t be going down without a cover. Will the Saints win? Yes. But I think it will be a lot closer than everybody thinks. Let’s say Saints 17, Seahawks 13
NY Jets +2.5 at Indy. I don’t know why, but I like the Jets. I’m not impressed with the Colts. I think the Jets get revenge for last year and Ryan has his boys fired up to do work in Indy. Jets 27, Colts 21
KC +3 vs. Baltimore. What? WHAT? Sure KC crapped the bed last week against the Raiders, but that’s because the Raiders are the best team in football when it comes to winning meaningless games. KC was just looking past them to the playoffs. Nobody in that Ravens secondary can stop Dwayne Bowe.
True story: I had a dream once that I bought an Ed Reed jersey and hung it up on my wall. I took it as a sign, went to the nearest sports store to buy an Ed Reed jersey, saw it was upwards of $100 and decided…eh, I’ll wait for my next sign. What if Mary and Joseph had done this? I’m just saying… KC 21 Baltimore 13
Philly -2.5 Vs. Green Bay. I don’t know why everyone is picking Green Bay in this game. Just because Mike Vick looked TERRIBLELYATROCIOUSOHMYGODWHATAREYOUDOINGTHROWINGTOTHEOTHERTEAM last game. It was only a minor blip on an otherwise clean fantasy and real life dominating season. The Eagles D will need to contain Rodgers, and since Green Bay can’t run the ball, I say they do. Go with the birds. Eagles 34, Packers 23
Before we go, can we have a moment of silence for Randy’s Carolina Panthers? Man, to go from Andrew Luck, a franchise QB for the next 10 years, one of the best QB prospects of recent memory, to drafting A.J. Green or the DT from Auburn…sad. That made ME upset for him. Not really. Actually I laughed. It just goes to show you: never root for a team whose mascot is named Sir Purr.
This post was written by Adam Thomas