On Saturday night, I was sound asleep when I woke suddenly to the sound of my dogs barking viciously at something outside. I got out of bed and went to the window in my spare bedroom to do the nosey neighbor peak and noticed two teenagers in hoodies standing directly in front of my house. My mind started to race: what could these hooligans be up to? Are they messing with our cars? Are they going to do something to our house? Gaaaaaaaah!
Thinking these thoughts and worrying about the teenagers made me feel old, as not too long ago–or perhaps, longer than I want to admit–that would’ve been me out there in my hooded sweatshirt causing mischief on a Saturday night while scared old neighbors looked on terrified from their windows.
I watched as they moved into the street when suddenly a car came by and caused them to spring back onto the sidewalk. They each took out their cell phones and with the blue lights shining, they looked like druids walking around with lanterns ablaze.
Once the car went by, they went back out into the street and started moving around again. Their heads were down and their movements were deliberate. I knew they were up to something….but what?
I watched them suspiciously as my dogs growled on the bed beside me. I wondered what I would do if I saw one of them do something to my car. My heart started to race when suddenly, they moved away from my house and back into the night.
I kept an eye on the street for a few more moments. There was no sign of them but before long, another car came by and shined its headlights on the street. That’s when I saw it and I realized what they were doing. They weren’t doing anything malicious. They were simply drawing a large penis in the middle of the street out of snow. Which is hilarious.
I started laughing. And laughing at this made me realize that perhaps I’m not as old or mature as I think.
The next morning, I looked outside to see if the snow penis was still there for all the neighborhood to see.
Sadly, it had melted and washed away.