Inception Review: Beware Berenger

August 6, 2010
Adam Thomas

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Man, writing a Blog, about the movie Inception, and
listening to the new Arcade Fire album. 
Now that I have every middle-twenties, middle-class white boy
stereo-type covered, let’s get to the review shall we?  

I really enjoyed the heck outta Inception.  It was smart, cool, and very, very
entertaining.  It had almost
everything that you need in a summer movie:

1.) Great lead actor (check).  Oh Leo. 
SWOOOOOON.

2.) A very attractive in a mousey-sort of way lead actress
(check-plus). Glad to see Ellen Page no longer has to support herself by doing
Cisco commercials.

3.) Cool supporting cast in badass suits with sweet ass guns
(check). Bonus points to Joseph Gordon-Levitt who has been great ever since
that awesome movie “The Lookout.”

Also bonus points to Tom Hardy, the guy who played Eames,
because I’m pretty sure that he is going to get a lot of work after execs in
Hollywood see how charismatic he is. 
Hey, if the dude from Avatar can star in movies, why can’t this guy?

4.) Ken Watanabe (check). The man.  The myth.

5.) Tom Berenger’s new face…ummm…well, points off for this
one.  Why in the blue hell did Christopher
Nolan choose to cast Berenger in this film?  There had to be like 45 other actors who could’ve handled
it, and he went with Jake Taylor from Major League? 

And don’t get me wrong, he was OK acting-wise in the
movie.  But that FACE!  My God that face!  People said that they were confused by
the plot, but that’s not what confused me.  What confused me is that I spent half the movie trying to
decide whether that really was Tom Berenger or not.  THAT was the real mystery.

It’s like Nicolas Cage came up to him one night and said, “I
wanna take your face………off!”  But
then he replaced it with a mask made of tanned silly putty that had been chewed on by a Great Dane instead of an actual
face.

And to those of you who think I’m being overly harsh, go see
his gigantic mug on the big screen while your trying to enjoy some popcorn. I wouldn’t
be talking so much Ish on the guy if he just became ugly, but the dude had plastic surgery, and if you’re gonna
have plastic surgery, then you’re fair game. 

Enough of his face. 
Let’s get back to the movie. 
People who come out of that movie saying things like, “It was so
confusing!  I had no idea what was
going on!”  Really?  All they do is keep dreaming. There,
that’s the plot.  They go into a
dream, shit gets fucked up, they go deeper into the dream by falling asleep in
the dream that they’re already in (same dream, different level), shit gets fucked
up, so they go further into the dream and so on and so forth. 

Hmmm, I guess it is kinda confusing when you write it down,
but trust me, it’s easy to follow.

Inception is like onions.  It has tiny red hairs when you leave it in the sun too long and
layers.  I went in expecting to be
confused, and was baffled by how easy it was to understand. Just go and enjoy
the fight scenes, keep telling yourself that they’re still in a dream, and worry
about the mumbo jumbo later.

Here’s a thought: 
what if they went into Cillian Murphy’s dream and he was dreaming that
he was masturbating to Leonardo Dicaprio? 
I’m sure that would’ve been awkward
for all involved.

“We’re here to plant an idea in this guys head and…good God
man!  What are you doing?” 

“Ummm, nothing…just Googling….come back later….”

Anyway, go see the movie.  It’s great, easy to understand, and has all the reasons
listed above.  Just beware of
Berenger.  Don’t say you weren’t
warned. 

I’ll go spin my totem now.  And let’s hope that it falls over. 

BWAAAAM!

This post was written by Adam Thomas

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