Get Outta Delaware Park Week 17: This is the End
Boomer: Jim Morrison once sang, “This is the end, my only friend. The end.” We’ll be back with the blitz.
I don’t know if Berman has said that yet on ESPN, but if not, I bet he says it at some point this weekend.
It’s the end of the line for most of us NFL fans. Panthers, Raiders, Vikings…you root for an NFL team and chances are that you’re either waiting for next week’s playoff games or waiting for the April draft. Only a handful of people will give a shit about the games today, and that’s why week 17 is one of the worst weeks of football and why fantasy championships have already been decided.
I was in 7 leagues this year and took down 3. Tooteth thine own horn! The Raiders even took their best shot at mediocrity this year and have a chance to finish 8-8 which, really, is like winning the Super Bowl for them.
Also, Happy New Year to all our loyal headrush readers! It’s been quite the year for us and since I started my first post talking about the Jersey Shore, what a better way than to start the New Year off then by watching Snookie get dropped in a ball at Midnight.
Yes. That actually happened. Afterwards, the four riders of the apocolpyse came in and handed out free spray tanning coupons.
I didn’t watch Snookie get dropped in a ball, however, because I was out at 10:15. Call it a huge chicken and pasta dinner combined with copious amounts of wine and Iron Hill Brewery beer, call it Tosh.0 showing some guys leg breaking in a million pieces clearing out a whole room of young tumblers, call it getting old. Sigh.
But the good thing is that I am now not hung over for New Years day. HOORAY! And I can enjoy one of the greatest sporting days of the year. College football all. Day. So along with NFL picks for tomorrow, let’s do some bowl predictions, shall we?
Alabama over Michigan State. I’m worried though because the mighty SEC looked like a frail wind yesterday with South Carolina’s drunken Stephen Garcia handing the game to Florida State and Georgia shitting the bed against Central Florida. Eeek. SEC needs to rebound in a big way today.
Florida over Penn State. Gah, a tough one. I just think Florida gets it done for Urban Meyer.
TCU Over Wisconsin. Can we take a minute to appreciate the awesomeness that is ESPN football analyst Robert Smith? Smith is the best ESPN analyst in anything. He is very smart and knows his stuff. He is also soft spoken and is not screaming at the television like all the NFL analysts, who are either bitter bald ex-players (Dilfer, Hasselbeck), insufferable meat heads (Bruschi, Golic, Schlereth), or just cocky Broncos-loving ass clowns (Teeeej).
Smith is the opposite of that. He is calm, collected and tells it like it is. Am I developing a man-crush? Why yes, I think I am. Just take a minute and look at this quote:
“I was a fan of astronomy as a little kid,” said Smith, “but I didn’t buy my first telescope until my rookie year in the NFL. I was out on a lake at night, fishing, and looking at the sky when it hit me. Shoot, I can afford a telescope now. So I went straight out and bought one.”
His nickname is Copernicus for crying out loud! Copernicus! Gah, that’s awesome. Man crush ignited.
Ok, back to the games.
Michigan over Miss State.
Oklahoma over Connecticut
As for the big boy games:
Oakland +3.5 over KC. Oakland really wants this game, doesn’t mean they’ll win but I think they cover.
Miami +4.5 over New England.
Tennessee +9.5 over Indy. I stick with my super bowl pick till the end!
Houston -3 over Jacksonville
Pitt -5.5 over Cleveland
Cincy +9.5 over Baltimore
Detroit -3.5 over Minnesota
NY Giants -4 at Washington
Green Bay -9.5 over Chicago (This is assuming Chicago rests its starters)
Dallas +6.5 over Philly. OK Philly fans, it’s that time of the year again. Time for the epic Andy Reid fail. McCoy is running the ball well and Vick can’t throw for shit? Let’s pass 90% of the time and abandon the run in the second quarter.
Wow. That’s all I can say about that last game. The Iggles looked terrible. Vick looks like he can’t complete a pass that’s under 50 yards. He looked hung over during that Vikings game. He looked like I look after a night of drinking trying to make breakfast. Um…where are the…eggs? Oh…that’s…right…the refrigerator.
If I were an Eagles fan, I’d be pissing my pants right now. And that’s not even mentioning how Joe Webb (JOE WEBB!) beat them on Tuesday. Goodness gracious. This could be a fun couple of weeks for all the Eagles haters, I’m somewhat of a convert thanks to Vick giving me a fantasy championship. Of course, I’m not counting them out yet and neither should you, but that game raised about 50 red flags.
NY Jets -1.5 over Buffalo
Carolina +14 over Atlanta. Lets win this one for the Fox! Being a Panthers fan would be so much fun right now. First pick. New coach. Man, nothing better than a fresh start. It’s like when the Raiders hired Lane Kiffin and drafted JaMarcus Russell. That worked out well for everyone, right?
Let’s not mention the fact that someone’s senior creative writing thesis was dedicated to Lane Kiffin and JaMarcus Russell.
Tampa Bay +7.5 at New Orleans
Seattle +3 over St. Louis. After dogging them all year, the Seahawks have a chance to make the playoffs. That is terrible.
Arizona +6 over San Fran. Remember when ESPN was all over Mike Singletary and the coaching move was being praised throughout the media? I do. And it was quite annoying because the man looks like Urkel on Steroids and never did anything to merit all his knob slobbing. Now he is fired and that makes me happy. Isn’t watching others fail fun? (New Years resolution: Be less cynical. Failed!)
Denver +3.5 over San Diego. In Tebow I trust.
See you all for the playoffs!
This post was written by Adam Thomas
Do you people have a facebook fan page? I looked for one on twitter but could not discover one, I would really like to become a fan!
Haha, I’ll be writing my thesis to Cam Newton and Bill Cowher.