Get Outta Delaware Park Week 15: Mumford and Sons….HATE HATE HATE

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This is the time of the year when many Websites are schilling out their opinions on the best songs of 2010.  I’m a little lazy at the moment to do a list like that, however, so I thought I’d instead take this time to write about one of the most annoying bands of 2010.

Mumford and Sons:  Holy balls are these guys terrible.  They are posers, they are kitsch, they are worthless.

I was at a party last weekend where they played these guys about 1,000 times and I had to sit there and nod my head and be like, “Yeah, they aren’t bad.”  No.  They are.  I just didn’t want to stir up shit at a Christmas party.

If you want a band from overseas with real sentiment and awesome songs, try Frightened Rabbit.  Mumford and Sons feel like Frightened Rabbit-light.  Radio friendly songs for Grey’s Anatomy and One Tree Hill.  Any band that let’s their music be used in the trailer for that MTV show World of Jenks can go straight to hell.  F these guys.

What in Gods name is a “little lion man?”  Holy shit.  I just read their lyrics and it looks like some of the worst poetry you will every read.  It’s like C-plus community college writing workshop poetry.  Take this for instance: “The harvest left no food for you to eat/You cannibal, you meat-eater, you see/But I have seen the same/I know the shame in your defeat.”  Those lines don’t make any sense.  Don’t people normally harvest crops?  Why would a harvest have any impact on a meat eater at all?  It’s not like they’re out there harvesting chicken patties.  The shame in your defeat?  Why is he defeated?  because he can’t eat?  That’s not called defeat, that’s called being hungry.  Gah!

Or how about these? “So tie me to a post and block my ears/I can see widows and orphans through my tears/I know my call despite my faults and despite my growing fears.” Man, I can see widows and orphans through my tears?  Heavy stuff.  If you’re an entry in a sixteen year old emo-chicks diary.

While we’re on the subject of hate, can we take a moment to say F-you to the Disaronno commercials?

Spanish guy: Today, we’re going to show you how to make Disaronno on the rocks and ginger ale.  Take Disaronno, add ice and ginger ale.  There.  Disaronno on the rocks, and ginger ale!”

Wow.  My mind is blown.  The only thing that could be more earth shattering would be if McDonalds did a commercial with Ronald saying: “Today, we’re going to teach you how to make a hamburger…with ketchup!  Take one hamburger bun, put it in between two sesame seed patties.  Then, add ketchup.  There.  Hamburger with ketchup.”

On to the picks!

St. Louis -3 Vs. KC.  St. Louis plays better at home and Matt Cassel may still be hurting from that apendectomy

Houston +1 at Tennessee

Jacksonville +4.5 at Indy

Arizona +2.5 at Carolina

Cleveland +1 at Cincy

Miami -5 vs Buffalo

Philly +3 at NY Giants

Dallas -7 vs Washington (poor Chunky Soup)

Tampa Bay -4 vs. Detroit

New Orleans +2.5 at Baltimore

Atlanta -5.5 at Seattle

Pittsburgh -4.5 vs. NY Jets

Denver +8 at Oakland (Tebow gets them to at least cover)

New England -14 vs Green Bay (How many fantasy lives were ruined with that concussion?  In some leagues I have Rodgers and Jennings.  Single tear)

Chicago -7.5 at Minnesota