What a way to start the morning. Last night, I had an inkling that the “special guest host” of this year’s Wrestlemania would be none other than The Rock, but after falling asleep around 8:30, I had kinda forgotten all about it. When the dog woke me up at 2 a.m., I thought about checking on-line to see if it turned out to be true, but I didn’t. And boy oh boy am I glad because I would NOT have been able to get back to sleep.
Not since Cliff Lee signed with the Phillies have I been so geeked about a return. Holy Balls. This got the morning off to a TERRIFIC start. Not only was the Rock back, but he was blazing through a fantastic promo eviscerating everything wrong with the WWE today. Namely: John Cena. My favorite moments occured at:
17:38: The Rock mocks John Cena’s “You can’t see me catch phrase.” The Rock basically destroys the WWE’s biggest star in twenty glorious seconds mocking Cena’s catchphrase in a high-pitch kiddie voice saying, “You can’t sheee meee! You can’t sheee mee! What are we playing peak a boo? Believe me! We ALLL can see you! A blindfolded, sleeping, stuck in a basement Stevie Wonder can see your monkey ass!” OWNED! Oh glorious, glorious Rock ownage. He then says that we can all see Cena because he wears stupid “bright ass” orange, yellow and purple t-shirts. “You run around here looking like a big fat bowl of FRUITY PEBBLES!” Gah hahaha. Good stuff. He also mentions about Cena looking like something blown out of Barney’s anus.
12:55: The Rock confronts Michael Cole. The highlight of this is when the Rock says Cole looks like “A drunken Hobbit.”
Quick side note: Why is the Rock plugging his facebook page? Weird.
Nevertheless, the Rock is back and holy shit is wrestling better for it. Everyone today is complaining that he “buried” Cena. He did. I fully expects Cena to be called “Pebbles” from now on.
but the Rock used to bury Stone Cold and HHH and The Undertaker and Jericho back in the day too. The difference? Those guys didn’t have flimsy ass gimicks like Cena. If Cena is truly buried because of a 20 minute promo, maybe he shouldn’t have been on the top of the ground to begin with.
If you smelllllaalalalalalalalalalaoO! What the Rock, is cooking!
This post was written by Adam Thomas