The Knicks had Carmelo Anthony return last night, and guess what? They lost. Even with ESPN showcasing a picture of Lin and Melo holding hands (yep…) with headlines claiming “It’s Not What You Think”, it’s TOTALLY what we think, and will continue to think. Melo is a selfish player, and that works for me. Anything to provide us with some cushion during this hump.

I call it a hump because I know the Sixers are going to improve. We’ve played 16 games in 28 days. We haven’t had an actual practice in over a month. The season is starting to take its toll.

That’s not really the best excuse either, because I know everyone is faced with this same problem, but I’m just saying I think the Sixers have some more life in them then what’s being shown. This is a good thing. It’s either we peak too early now and recover, or peak right at the playoffs and never recover. I’d rather have it this way. This… of course… is all speculation.

What I really want to know is…. who the heck is this guy?? I see him all the time from watching Sixers games and I’m dying to know who he is. For now, I’m going to call him Lucious Sweets, because that’s what he looks like to me.

Every time Marc Zumoff and Malik Rose do there post-half-time, pre-3rd-quarter intro for a home game, there’s my man Lucious Sweets hogging up the camera. It’s unreal. If you watch, he poses several times, smiles at the camera, winks, blows kisses, and just hams it up during a live broadcast. He has to work for the station, I’m guessing, but who is Lucious?? How do I obtain such swag, and how many ladies are back at his place waiting for him to get off of work?

Here’s to you, Lucious.

Since we’re on the subject of strange observations that I make about all things related Sixers, who is that funny little elf man that sprinkles pixie dust in the Kia commercial? It’s Marc Zumoff right?? I mean, look at the picture and tell me that isn’t Marc Zumoff dressed up in jammy-jams.

All my research (a.k.a. Googling) has uncovered nothing. I can’t even find out who the actual actor is, so I would be delighted if someone could let me know. It certainly leads to the possibility that it could be him. For now, it’s Zumoff in my mind.

Did you guys know that Troy Barnes from Community is also a rapper? Aside from Derrick Comedy, The Mystery Team, and the countless other comedic entities that this man takes part in, he also raps under the alias Childish Gambino. Yep, and it’s exactly what you think.

I downloaded Donald Glover’s album to give it a quick listen and assess. I must say, his lyrics are about as clever as his comedy. Lines like, “If I’m a faggot, spell it right, I have way more than 2 G’s” tickle you enough to keep you interested in his flow that is pretty much standard and lackluster. Not to say he isn’t good, it’s just there isn’t much being brought to the table that isn’t already there, being eaten by somebody else. The beats are conventional but somehow work well with his rhyme scheme and singing. Yep. He sings, too.

Most actors who cross over or vice versa are met with a harsh reality that they, in fact, suck at whatever it is they are branching out into. I’m not sure what Donald Glover had in mine first before he was successful, but it’s put him in a strange place. I can’t take his serious raps seriously, because I associate his voice with comedy and his “dirty growl” is all to reminiscent of his theatric screams in Community. Because he is famous, though, it makes the album a little more interesting. You gotta keep an open mind, I guess.

2.) I still haven’t watched that Full Metal Jousting show that my cousin recommended, but I promise to do so soon. Especially since I am immersed in “A Storm of Swords” the third book in George R.R. Martin’s “Song of Ice and Fire” series.

By the way, can I just beg any future fantasy writers out there to leave songs and lyrics and poems and that nonsense out of your books?  They are annoying and all I do is skip over them. Tolkien pulls that crap too with all the little hobbits singing their songs.

3.) I’ve been watching a lot of Sopranos episodes lately, and I have to say, my favorite part is when the mobsters hand each other envelopes brimming with cash, and then the recipient slyly tucks it into his inside jacket pocket.

I think having someone come up to me, give me a hug, slap me lightly on the cheek and hand me a big old envelope full of cash while saying something like, “Go buy yourself something nice” or “Here’s a little something for a rainy day” is now on my bucket list. It doesn’t have to be real, it could be Monopoly money for all I care, I just want it to happen.

4.) I just got a new old TV from my rents (and by “just” I mean I got it about a month ago) and it has a duel VCR/DVD player built in–we’re talking high-tec stuff. This allowed me to watch the original cartoon Transformers movie for the 1,000th time and you know what I forgot?  At the beginning, the narrator states, “the year is 2005.” Why didn’t they set it a little further into the future?  I mean, the movie was made in 1986.  Were the creators really banking on Transformers and Decepticons being built in 19 years?  I think ANY science fiction movie has to set the year that it takes place at least 100 years in the future.

5.) It pains me to say this, but I think the Sixers have peaked.  They got off to a hot start because of the shortened season/little roster turnover but now teams are catching up to them.  I once thought that they could get out of the first round, but I am starting to have my doubts especially because…

6.) LINSANITY!  I had to mention it.  Quite frankly, I am very happy that I do not have ESPN right now (I just moved and Comcast is transferring today) cause I am guessing that is ALL that they are talking about. But in spite of all that, it really is a neat story. Even if the media blows everything up for about a week and then forgets about it in a month. Plus, he seems like a nice guy.

7.) Yeesh, I don’t know how I feel about the new Springsteen song. I mean it’s OK, but it sounds like he is trying TOO hard to sound like Bruce.  Take this lyric for instance: “We’re the eyes, the eyes with the will to see.”

I mean, isn’t that just eyes?  Don’t all eyes have the WILL to see?  Some may not have the ABILITY to see, but I’m pretty sure all eyes want to see.  That’s what they do. They’re EYES!

And yes, I know that he is trying to say that we have the will to see all the atrocities in the world and help out and not turn a blind eye and yada yada yada, but it still falls a little flat for me.  I’m hoping the album picks up after that (and since it has “Land of Hope and Dreams” on it’s track list, I’m sure it will.)

8.) Ok, we like to avoid politics here at Theheadrush, but that story about Mitt Romney strapping his dog to the top of his car DURING A 12 HOUR ROAD TRIP is just too incredibly, INCREDIBLY stupid to be ignored. How…HOW could you think that was a good idea? And that’s not even the best part. The dog goes to the bathroom (I guess it wasn’t scared S-less…BADUMP-TING!) and so Romney pulls over at a gas station, borrows a hose, hoses down the dog and then sticks him back up in the crate on top of the car. Wow.

Then, when interviewed about it, Romney said something like “I guess PETA doesn’t like me wanting my dog to have fresh air.” No. No they don’t. Not when it’s for 12 hours straight attached to the roof of a car traveling about 70 mph.

No wonder this robot is having trouble closing out the nomination.

9.) Plug time!  My co-worker Christy has a blog called Scrink, Bring me Up, and it covers everything from movies to music to books, to Guantanamo Bay!  You should go check it out, not only for the awesome content, but also for the chance to win a FREE KINDLE TOUCH!  But that’s not all, she is also giving away A VEGGIE TALES DVD!  Holy crap.  A chance to win a Kindle and Bob the Tomato?  Double it.

10.) I reached ten!  I did it!

Let me just say that if the WWE doesn’t get The Funkasaurus back on TV ASAP, I may have to boycott.  Also, Bret the Hitman Hart is going to be at a Blue Rocks game this summer.  You will see me in the box seats, screaming like a banshee trying to get him to give me his greasy glasses.

Till next time!

Sure, it’s incredible that a rookie is coming in and averaging 20+ points a game in his debut. It’s in New York. It’s big. I dig all of that. He’s saying all of the right things, doing all of the right things, and New York is winning. That’s nice.

But why does every story on ESPN New York have the word “Lin” in it? I know there’s a lull in sports stories, but that kind of overexposure is going to doom him. You can’t have him outshine Carmelo, but the media is almost intentionally doing this to create conflict. This is another one of those, “Let the media dictate the future” kinda things.

And to Floyd Mayweather: Please, shut the hell up. Mayweather Tweeted that the only reason Jeremy Lin is getting this kind of exposure is because he’s Asian. That could be it…. oooooorrrr it could be the fact that he’s the first rookie in league history to debut with 20+ points and 7+ assists in his first 4 games. How about you stop being racist?

Remember that time you told Manny Pacquiao to “make some sushi rolls and cook some rice?” You can’t even be racist correctly! Sushi rolls for the Philippines?

Either way, Jeremy Lin is an amazing spectacle and it’s definitely going to be interesting to see how Melo likes being shown up, but let it unfold! Don’t create it.

On the flip side of things, I don’t think Dwight Howard is getting enough attention for his temper tantrums and hissy fits. People hate on Lebron James all day, but Dwight Howard may be the antithesis of a team player.

His teammates on the Magic have openly complained that Howard repeatedly stating his intentions to leave has affected their play. Most of their scoring averages are down, assists are down, and Stan Van Gundy has lost all control of that locker room.

To make Dwight’s demands even more laughable, Howard vocalized his desire to be a “closer” for the Magic, right after a 4th quarter comeback the night before that involved zero, count em, zero points from Howard himself. They went on a 16-0 run and Howard didn’t see the ball once.

What did you expect big fellah? No one is going to feel empathy for you and you’ve isolated yourself in the locker room. How are people supposed to take you seriously?

I’ll be blown away if Dwight stays on the Magic before the trade deadline. It’s just sour milk right now. Barring a cinematic-esque change of character, the Magic are going to be left in the dust and fall to the same perils the Cavs are facing now.

One last note. I’ve seen a lot of “Who cares about Whitney Houston when soldiers are dying everywhere??” stories and posts. This could stem from a lot of things, but mainly I think it’s because of the perception that a woman with so much potential wasted it on a drug addiction and it’s getting attention.

Whitney Houston won a lot of Grammys, had a lot of success, and made a bunch of money. I wouldn’t necessarily say she “wasted” her talent. Seems to me she did everything a talented woman was supposed to do. I didn’t see people lining up when she was 47 asking her to make another hit. Just let the woman die in peace, yeesh.

Dre’ hasn’t been a total bust. He’s played hurt. He’s played consistent. He’s played great defense. That’s really the staple of his entire career. He’s an average offensive player, with some truly talented athletic ability, that serves as a great defensive player. He annoys the hell out of every other teams’ star, and for that, I’m glad we’ve kept him. Iggy will never be the superstar we hoped he’d be, but if he gets Carmelo Anthony T’d up every time we play the Knicks, I’ll be fine. His job against Kobe was incredible.

We’ve already covered the SuperBowl, and it seems like light years in the past, but I just wanted to vent about a few things.

1) I’m completely unsatisfied with the result. New York gets to have everything. I’m already into hockey and basketball now anyway, so football is taking a back seat. Ya lost me at fantasy, Mr. Goodell.

2) Ignorant sports analysts said that M.I.A. gave the finger at the SuperBowl to become famous. Newsflash fellas, she is pretty famous, you guys are just old. Either way, I’m terribly conflicted about this action. She’s on a song with Madonna, doing the most commercial thing an artist could do: rep the SuperBowl. So was this a form of protest? Is that just what super hot Sri Lanken Tamilian goddesses do? Again, I’m vexed.

3) Adam said Madonna’s performance was pretty bad. I thought she seemed limber enough for a fifty year old woman, and my imagination certainly thought so, as well.

4) I remember listening to LMFAO in 2009 and being pleasantly surprised that their album was pretty good. I’ll even go as far as to say their newer album is good, too. But careful gentlemen, you are tip-toeing your way into the all too common “douchebaggery overexposure blacklist.” America can only take so much douche at once.

I finally listened to Killer Mike’s PL3DGE album. I’m surprised to see him so political. It’s worth a listen. Either way, he has a track titled “Ric Flair” on the album (who seems to be the idol of all rappers these days) and quotes from the veteran wrestler are voiced over breaks in the instrumental. Hilarity. Pure hilarity. Ric Flair was a rapper before there was rappers. Quotes like, “You don’t like the the prestige that I have in life. You don’t like the notoriety. You detest the fact that I got more cars than most of you have friends! I got a big house, on the big side of town … I got life pretty much the way I want it!” Haha, well said Mr. Flair. One thing struck me, though.

One of his quotes says, “Ric Flair! There’s only one. And I don’t care if it’s Tokyo, Japan; Greensboro; Richmond; Charlotte, North Carolina; Asheville; Atlanta, Georgia; Charlotte; L.A. … I’m the man that’s makin’ it possible!” Woah, woah, Ric. You go from Tokyo to Greensboro?? My man, Ric Flair, goes from one of the largest cities in the world to several southern redneck towns in North Carolina (no offense Petie.) If that doesn’t speak magnitudes of Ric Flair’s (and the WWF’s) actual world experience at the time… I don’t know what does. Still baller. Whatever you do, though, do NOT Google images of Ric Flair. It ruins all the imagination.

Philadelphia’s own Ric Flair, Pat Burrell, retired this off-season. I’ve admitted several times that I didn’t start truly becoming a passionate fan of Philly baseball until April of 2007, the first time I saw them live. During that period, Burrell was hated. I mean HATED. My first memorable experience was sitting in left field, watching a routine pop fly get dropped, and then joining the onslaught of boos towards The Bat. He probably didn’t lose an ounce of sleep for those. That’s just who he was. What he did embrace, which I could support, was the destruction of the Mets. They haven’t been the same since 2007, and coincidentally Burrell had his best year against them. Burrell hit 42 total homers against the Mets, and that, I can applaud.

Whether you believe the rumors or not, loved him or hated him, Pat Burrell was a big part of the 2008 World Series season, and I kinda miss him. I can’t believe that asshole has 2 rings, though.

We’re almost through the daunting stretch of games, and I have to admit, I’m more than elated by the outcome for the Sixers. A win over the Magic, the Bulls, the Hawks, and the Lakers, with 1 loss to the Heat? I’ll take it. If it was the other way around, though, I’d take that, too. Beating L.A. was satisfying, but they clearly aren’t the same team. Kobe has 95% of the workload and their bench is garbage. The Heat reside as king of the hill right now, and that’s who I want.

But, we’re splitting hairs here. It’s still a great accomplishment, and honestly, it’s great that we’re not peaking this early in the season. Aside from the Lakers game having last minute theatrics, most of those games were the Sixers just doing what they normally do. Playing great defense, wearing them down, and grinding out a win. It’s a great formula for a winning season, and it isn’t putting too much stress on any one player. Save the fancy stuff for the playoffs.

Tonight, the Sixers take on the Spurs. Tip-off is at 7:00. My prediction : Sixers 93, Spurs 87.

2.) How come Eli Manning and Tom Coughlin get kissed into the Hall of Fame after their second Super Bowl win and yet Jim Plunkett and Tom Flores–QB and Coach for the Raiders–who both have two Super Bowl rings get no love?

Then Curtis Martin gets in?  Are you KIDDING ME?  Curtis Martin was like the 10th best running back in Madden 99 and yet he makes the Hall of Fame?  What the heck?

3.) Since ESPN has glossed over this point at every opportunity, let me just shed light on one little thing: Tom Brady and Bill Belichick have not won a super bowl post-spy gate. Let me repeat this: the Patriots have never won a super bowl without videotaping their opponents. This is why it was so important for them to win yesterday.  If they win yesterday, they have a legit championship.  But they lost, and so every time somebody mentions the Pats three super bowls, all of us haters can say, “Yes…but they cheated.”

4.) On Friday night after the Sixers game, a very inebriated older woman stood in traffic dancing around like an idiot while depressed Philly fans beeped their horns and yelled at her.  During her halftime show, Madonna looked like a mix between that drunk woman and a new-born baby just learning how to walk.

5.) I didn’t even notice that M.I.A. flipped the bird. But who cares?  Jeez folks, let’s all calm it down a bit.

6.) I read an article on Yahoo that was supposed to make me feel bad for Brady and see how much this loss meant to him. Note to the writer: if you want me to feel sympathy for the devil, please don’t put in a sentence like, “where his wife, Brazilian Supermodel….”

7.) No good ads this year, but there never are!  This is the biggest myth in America. The Super Bowl ads always try way too hard to be funny. The only Super Bowl ad that I ever found funny was the ad about ten years ago with the “Cat Herders” where the cowboys herded cats across a barren desert and sat around the campfire using lint rollers to get the hair off their leather outfits.  Yeah, and even that sounds stupid when I write it out.

8.) From now until eternity, there will not be a Super Bowl in the Thomas house hold that does not involve Chili.  Stef made a pot yesterday and it was INCREDIBLE! I am counting down the minutes until I can have some for lunch. Chili will be seeping out of my pours by Wednesday. Special thanks to Deadspin’s Drew Magary who included a chili recipe in his excellent Super Bowl Jamboroo, which gave us the inspiration to make some chili!

9.) Now that the football is out of the way, it’s time to focus on the best sporting event of the year: THE NFL DRAFT!  And just because Kiper and McShay never live up to their mistakes, it’s time for me to own up to mine.  Here’s what I wrote last year about Von Miller:

“I think that Von Miller guy is going to be the biggest bust in the draft.  He looks tiny as hell and he just seems like the kind of guy who gets all sorts of buzz and then never does anything.  Tyson Jackson anyone?”

hahahahaha, what an IDIOT!  Von Miller just won Defensive Rookie of the Year.  So…yeah…I was juuuust a bit off on that one.

10.) Super Bowl picks for next year?  Hows about the Texans and the 49ers!  Yeah buddy!

Alright, that’s all for me.  But I’m hoping to be back this week with another post.

2.) Robert Kraft, owner of the Patriots, recently said, “We’re red, white and blue and our name is Patriots. How can you hate something like that?”  Quite easily, Kraft, cause you make pretentious comments like that. And your QB’s supermodel girlfriend sends out an e-mail asking for friends to pray for “Tommy” as he tries to win the Super Bowl.  Cause that’s what he needs, MORE good fortune in his life. He’s already had the “Tuck Rule”…I think that’s enough good fortune for ten lifetimes.

3.) Stef and I took our first trip to Ikea last Saturday and I have got to say, that place is pretty fun.  It’s like a museum you can touch! It has comfy sofas and couches and beds, and it has…wait for it…CHICKEN FINGERS!  Holy cow, what a place.  You can just be dipping chicken fingers in honey mustard and drinking a Mountain Dew whilst standing in a kitchen with marble counter tops, stainless steel appliances and new age wine racks.  It’s DIVINE!

4.) My friends have recently been asking me to play a lot of poker, and you know what?  I LOVE IT!  I forgot how much fun poker can be, and hadn’t really played in a while.  Luckily, we had one game that wasn’t for money and it taught me that I really needed to hone my skills back to where they were a few years ago during the height of the poker craze–when I lived with Randy and he would leave books by Barry Greenstein lying around and I’d watch Rounders three times a week.

So before heading back to the table to play for some money, I decided to play on-line to test my skills against a bunch of people I didn’t know. Luckily, there are websites out there like Party Poker that allow you to play against complete strangers and to get back your card playing skills.  I forgot how much fun it can be to bust somebody who is a complete stranger to you, and how deliciously aggravating it can be to lose a hand on the river to somebody you’ve never seen. After playing on-line for a bit, I felt like my skills were sufficiently up to snuff. And lo and behold, I won the next game against my friends.

5.) We’re heading up to the Sixers tonight and I get to do my two favorite things during an NBA game.  1.) Cheer for the Sixers and 2.) BOOOOOOOO Lebron James!  Hooray!

6.) I turned on–and quickly turned off in favor of “Turner and Hooch”–Sportscenter this morning and for some reason, Skip Bayless was interviewing Tim Tebow.  WHY? It made me throw up a little bit in my mouth, but there is no doubt that Bayless was in heaven.  In fact, I’m pretty sure that Bayless’ heaven involves Tebow karate chopping Lebron James in the throat.

7.) While we’re on the subject of “Turner and Hooch” does it really have to end like that?  I’m just saying, it gets REALLY dark pretty quick.  I turned it off this morning before I turned into a puddle.

8.) Good for Sheamus winning the Royal Rumble!  I’ll never forget when NT first saw Sheamus and literally started screaming “EWWWWWWWW” The man is incredibly gross to look at, and his nickname “The Great White” is questionable at best, flat out racist at worst. His goatee also looks like what would happen if you sprinkled a bunch of Cheetos on a dry erase board.

9.) Oh, and if you’re still here, my Super Bowl pick is Giants 27, Patriots 24.

Enjoy the game!

Doug Collins was furious, as he should have been. The Sixers defense held the Magic to a mere 69 points, allowing only 9 in the 3rd quarter (a record low for any quarter this season.) Dwight Howard’s stats were all below average, but somewhere late in the fourth, the lead started to slip away and our bench looked undermanned. Lavoy Allen made some huge mistakes down the stretch that led to ugly turnovers and ugly looks at the rim. It’s not fair that he’s being thrown into this mess preemptively, but never the less that’s the ordeal we are in until Spencer Hawes and Vucevic returns. Francisco Elson, who was recently signed to help provide some depth at the center position, still hasn’t seen many minutes. I’m curious about that.

But it’s not about our stellar month of January anymore, it’s about the daunting February ahead.

This is probably the toughest stretch for the Sixers. For the many who criticized our schedule as being the easiest in the league, this patch suffices as the true measuring stick for how well the 76ers actually are. During Sunday’s Heat/Bulls game, Magic Johnson (a.k.a. the worst analyst in basketball) ranked is top 5 teams in the East. Were the Sixers there? Of course not. It went Bulls, Heat, Indiana, Celtics, Hawks.

Maybe I’m just a bitter fan, but how can you rank a team #1 as they are being dominated by your #2 team during the broadcast that displays these rankings?? And then Indiana #3?? For real Magic? I could see including them in the top 5 because they certainly are an improvement, but we BEAT them earlier in the season, by 10+ points, and you still don’t even mention us. Instead, Magic included the old, sad, Celtics at #4 with their record currently at 9-9. The Celtics are probably going to improve that record, but they aren’t coming into the Eastern Playoffs above the #6th seed. That’s a joke.

So, this is about the point where we find out how good the Sixers really are. We’re injured, games are being packed into a short schedule, and we have 5 top 5 teams to play in the next 2 weeks.

Tonight starts with the Bulls. Friday we host the Heat. The very next day, we travel to Atlanta to face the Hawks. That’s the #1, #2, and #3 seeds in the East. Monday, we host Kobe Bryant and the Lakers, followed by the Spurs and the suddenly revived Clippers. It’s a tough task and I’m anxious about how the wounded Sixers will handle this. Our defense probably accounts for 70% of our wins and we’re going to be more dependent on it than ever.

Currently the Sixers stand at 16-6, first place in their division. If they walk away 1-5 with that sole win being over the Heat, I’d be happy.

And because we like to have fun here, I’ve got some Youtube gems. Pat Sajak of Wheel of Fortune recently did an interview on Dan LeBatard’s Highly Questionable. He basically admits to being drunk on the show and then tells a story about Vanna White giving him the stink finger. It’s pretty delightful.

The other gem I have is a video from Kobe Bryant’s recent Nike campaign entitled “Kobe System.” Kanye West makes the clip.

GO SIXERS!!

Well, why isn’t it like that for other sports then? How come other sports host their celebratory “thank-you” game during the regular season? They expect players to get right back up with their regular schedules and keep rolling. Hell, in soccer, players who compete in the Premier League typically compete in a European and international tournament at the same time. There’s probably more, too, but I just don’t know soccer like that. And I know what you’re thinking : “Football ain’t like soccer, hoss.” Yea, I know, but you got any better ideas for how to make it more interesting?

So, with 99% of the players going 70% at the Pro-Bowl, it makes sense that the player that normally goes 70% comes out as the MVP by giving it 100%.

Brandon Marshall caught 4 touchdown passes for 176 yards in Hawaii. That’s two-thirds of his entire 2011 season in one game! Marshall is the king of underachieving in my eyes and his success at the Pro-Bowl may just solidify that for me. While other players were Tweeting their feelings of laziness through computer’s the NFL set up on the sidelines (that’s not a joke), Brandon Marshall was laying it all out on the line. Maybe he just treated this game like every other game and the lackadaisical approach from all the other players is what made him shine so bright. He’s a born underachiever, so I guess in a pool of underachievers, the man is a God. That one catch he made after the defender tipped it was pretty sick, though.

Instead of watching half-assed football, I watched whole-ass basketball. Heat vs. Bulls. Pretty awesome game. Two things are clear to me :

1) The Heat, when they feel like it, are the best team in basketball. The video (which you can see below) is Lebron James dunking over John Lucas III, who happens to be almost 6ft tall. He looks short compared to other basketball players, but he reeeeeaaaally looks short when Lebron James is flying over him. Tough luck, Lucas. You gon’ see that one for a while. I guess Jrue Holiday rebounded from his “Dwight Howard embarassment” from last year pretty quickly though. It’s not just the dunks for the Heat, either. All that criticism of their bench depth before the 2010-2011 season doesn’t hold much merit now. In fact, I think that for Pat Riley grabbing 3 “superstars”, the bench that they have now will do just fine. Except Shane Battier, that dude sucks now.

2) Derrick Rose is never going to win a championship. Bold statement, huh? He’s such an incredible athlete, and that’s a shame, but I just don’t see the Bulls having what it takes to get a championship. Last year’s playoffs made it evident. Derrick Rose, a perfect 28 for 28 at the free throw line this season, misses back-to-back free throws with ~20 seconds left to put the Bulls in front and take the lead. That’s some Iguodala shit right there. Now, I’m not saying he’s not clutch, because that’s about all he is. I think that’s more divine intervention right there. Everybody is telling me wait to Luol Deng to come back. I will, but I still see the Heat in the Finals this year.

The Sixers are 0 for 2 when I write about them, and they play tonight, so I’m not going to say anything. Shit… did I just write about them? Ah well, expect a loss tonight.

1.) I know that I am probably going to get destroyed for saying this, but I’m getting a little sick of Liam Neeson’s attempt at being an action star.  You know why?  Cause the guy looks out of shape!  In fact, I bet Liam Neeson couldn’t even finish a 5K. After that movie, Taken, I’ve heard people say things like, “Liam Neeson is BADASS!”  To that I say, “No…no he isn’t.”

In this new movie, The Grey, Neeson has to take out a pack of angry wolves.  I’m sure that Neeson will win in the movie, but do you know who would win in real life?  THE WOLVES!  Here’s how it would play out.  Old, slow Liam Neeson would take one swing at the quick and hungry wolves, he would miss, he’d be out of breath and the wolves would tear his throat out.

End of movie.  Liam Neeson, go back to starring in chick flicks like Love Actually.  You’re not an action star and it’s starting to get on my nerves.

2.) For those of you that are in Delaware, I implore you: Go check out the University of Delaware’s Women’s Basketball team.  Holy crap they are incredible!  Elena Delle Donne is ridiculous to watch in person, it’s like seeing the women’s basketball version of Magic Johnson.  She makes sweet no-look passes, blocks shots, hits three, has a great inside game, it’s remarkable. Last night she had 41 points, 15 rebounds and 5 assists.  Not too shabby.

And let’s not take away from the rest of the team, either.  They are STACKED!  In fact, as of this post, they are ranked #15 IN THE COUNTRY.  Delle Donne is the leading scorer IN THE COUNTRY!  How many times is this going to happen at UD?  If you haven’t seen a game yet, go and watch.  You will not be disappointed.

3.) To piggy back off the last point, I once had male a friend in high school who said that he could play in the WNBA.  He shall remain nameless (though, you neighborhood friends are sure to remember this claim) but let me just let him no this: There is no chance in hell that he could hang in the WNBA. After watching the women’s basketball game last night, not only was I thoroughly impressed but I was also re-assured that if I or any of my male friends tried to step on that floor we would’ve gotten DESTROYED by any player out there.  Forget the WNBA, women’s college athletics is no joke.

4.) How in the blue hell did Jonah Hill get nominated for an Academy Award for his performance in Money Ball?  Also, how did the Melissa McCarthy get nominated for Bridesmaids?  Have movies really gotten THAT bad? Don’t get me wrong, McCarthy was kinda funny in the movie, but she wasn’t THAT funny. And Hill, well, he didn’t really have to do much.

5.) The Raiders hired the Broncos DC for their head coach, and you know what?  I LOVE IT!  Of course, I also loved the hiring of Art Shell (it was college, don’t ask), Lane Kiffin (college again, and as has been documented here many times, my senior thesis was dedicated to Lane Kiffin and JaMarcus Russell who would return the Raiders to the glory days…which is probably the most hilarious and short-sighted thing I’ve ever done), loved Tom Cable being hired and loved the hiring of Hue Jackson.  So I mean, yeah, I’m probably not the best judge of Raiders head coaching candidates.

6.) You know, Lee Evans really should’ve held onto that touchdown, but if you go back and watch the tape (The word TAPE! That must mean it’s almost NFL Draft time!) it almost looks as if he didn’t get two but THREE feet down in the endzone before he loses the ball.  Just go back and watch it.  Here’s what COULD have happened (for the record, I am playing devil’s advocate cause I don’t think it was a catch): As soon as he catches the ball–and I mean for a SPLIT second–it looks like he has the ball AND his left foot is down, then his right foot gets down no questions asked, and then he MAYBE (but probably not) still has the ball as his right foot hits the ground again.  I’m not saying he caught it, but it definitely should’ve been reviewed.  Oh and also: I hate the Patriots.

7.) My pick for this year’s Royal Rumble winner?  Cody Rhodes!  At least, that is what I’m hoping for.  If Rhodes wins, it gives some new blood a chance and is better than a re-tread like Randy Orton winning (though, he probably will).

By the way, while we are talking about the WWE, can we talk about Brodus Clay?  The man may be the best thing the WWE has going for it.  For those of you who don’t know, Brodus Clay is this big fat ugly dude who they call “The Funkasaurus” who comes out in old red Run DMC Addidas suits, dances with two girls, rips them off and wrestles in a singlet. It sounds TERRIBLE, I know, but somehow, SOMEHOW it works. He also announces all his moves as he is doing them, so when he is about to suplex someone across the ring, he grabs them and yells “SUPLEX!” Which I think is really funny. He also yells “MY BAD!” Whenever he crushes someone with a move, which is also pretty funny.  Brodus Clay is a character that shouldn’t work, one that should be incredibly stupid, and yet somehow, he is awesome.  I predict that he will hold a title (not the world but maybe a U.S. or Intercontinental) before the year is out, after they do away with the “Funkasaurus” gimmick and make him into a scary, intimidating heel.

That’s all for me!  Until next time….

Yep. That makes sense. But then to watch him hook a 32 yarder, you go back and think about perhaps that decision of going for it on 4th and 6 got into his head somehow. I read his post-game interviews. He seemed pretty content with the outcome and said his Ravens teammates offered a lot of support.

There’s also some story running around about the Patriots putting the wrong down on the scoreboard before Cundiff’s kick, causing some of the Ravens sideline to rush him onto the field for his kick, disrupting his routine. Kickers are weird guys. I could see that. I could totally see the Patriots doing some dirtiness like that as well. Meh, I don’t know how I feel anymore.

All I know is, the Conference Championships weren’t really about one team overcoming adversity or performing well, it was all about the losing team’s collapse falling on the shoulders of one particular player. I’m not really looking forward to a Pats/Giants rematch, although I imagine Roger Goodell is. Revenue streams, playa.

Did you know that the Fox Sports robot that runs during commercials is named Cleatus? What a weird name. He even has his own Twitter account so you can Tweet to him during the game and… do what? What the hell could you possibly have to say to a fake hill-billy named robot that tells you what the game was sponsored by? Well, I looked it up, here were some gems:

beewits beewits
@cleatus you don’t dance the way you used to.

ThisBenFlanagan Ben Flanagan
Was @Cleatus in REAL STEEL? Bet he auditioned…

seaniscreative Sean Thompson
So apparently the fox football robot has a twitter. I hate that thing more now. Apparently it’s @cleatus

ian_judd I.K.J.
I wish @cleatus the fox robot would respond to my tweets. Get at me dog! Go niners

The last guy had SEVERAL Tweets directed @Cleatus, and I suppose he was getting all worked up at the idea of Cleatus not responding. The fuck’d you expect guy?

Baseball interest is probably the lowest it can be during this time of year, which is why I’d like to touch on a subject. Cleveland Indians’ pitcher Fausto Carmona was arrested (and I’m assuming deported?) for falsifying his identity when scouts checked up on him in the Dominican Republic before he was signed. He gave a false name and a false age. He’s also not the first player to do it. Marlins’ pitcher Leo Nunez was arrested for the same thing about 4 months ago when the team discovered he was using a false name and false age as well to play baseball.

Neither of these pitchers are huge in the game of baseball right now so it’s not a mind-blowing media event, and that probably doesn’t bode well for these two. The age thing is pretty messed up. Carmona said he was 3 years younger than he actually is. That’s a pretty big deal when your body is your job. The name thing, though… who cares? Let em’ play. In an era where probably hundreds of baseball players used drugs to make themselves more than what they are, I don’t see why this needs to be dragged out. Get them a new visa, give em a physical, and then let them play again.

Word is the Raiders are hiring Denver Broncos’s defensive coordinator Dennis Allen. I wonder how Adam feels about this. I wasn’t able to confirm, though, as I didn’t make it through the Tostitos commercials…

Barcelona and Real Madrid play again today. This is, what, like the 100th time this season? These guys haven’t played that much in 20 years.

Alright… I’m falling apart here…. I’m done.