Holy crap, what a great day it is to be a Raiders fan. Not only did the Raiders sign Charles Woodson on Tuesday, but it turns out that he chose the Raiders OVER the Denver Broncos, which caused the internet bloggers to collectively pee their pants. How in the world could Woodson sign with the Raiders, who everybody is pegging as the worst team in the league right now on May 22, over the almighty Denver Broncos, who everybody is already handing the Superbowl to even though–again–it’s only May 22nd?

Let’s take a look at some of the hate, shall we?

From Evan Silva, everyone’s favorite hater of everything, of Rotoworld: “He’s chosen the Raiders over the Broncos despite the fact that Denver is on the cusp of the Super Bowl, and Oakland is one of the worst teams in the league. However Woodson spins it, money was almost certainly the determining factor.”

And when it turned out a few hours later that the Raiders in fact only offered Woodson $600,000 more than the Broncos (I use the world ‘Only’ because Woodson has made millions), here is what Silva had to say: “Unless the Broncos’ base offer was dramatically lower, it’s definitely surprising Woodson chose the cellar-dwelling Raiders over Denver based on a theoretical extra $600,000. Money talks.”

Yes. Money talks. So do the 100 fans who showed up at the Raiders headquarters to welcome Woodson back to Oakland, so does the fact that he has a long and storied history with the Raiders, and so does the fact that the man runs a winery located in Napa Valley–which is where the Raiders hold training camp.

Saying that Woodson chose the Raiders over the Broncos for just a wee bit more money is ridiculous.

Another nice internet blogger who hates on everything is the guy over at Walterfootball (I’m guessing his name is Walt). Here’s what he had to say about the signing: “I don’t really understand this signing for either side in terms of a pure football perspective. The Raiders have one of the least-talented rosters in recent memory. Sure, Woodson is an upgrade over what they already have (Usama Young), but when it comes down to it, his presence will do one of two things: 1) Make Oakland win enough games to take the franchise out of contention for Teddy Bridgewater and some of the other top quarterbacks, yet still keep them out of the playoffs. 2) Have no impact because he’ll be 37 soon, meaning it’ll just be a waste of money.

For Woodson, the best scenario for him would have been to go to a Super Bowl contender like the Broncos or 49ers to give him a chance for another Super Bowl ring. By signing with Oakland, it shows that Woodson’s No. 1 priority is money. Free agents who chase big contracts almost never pan out. It’s very fair to question whether Woodson’s heart is still in the game.”

Hate hate hate hate hate. So Walt’s theory is that it is bad for the Raiders to sign Woodson because doing so will make them win more games (which is, you know, kind of the POINT OF PLAYING PROFESSIONAL SPORTS) and take them out of contention for a QB who may–or may not be–the number one pick a year from now. Sound. Logic. That’d be like saying the Chiefs should’ve tanked last year to put them in a position to draft Matt Barkley–who at the time was considered a number one pick and we all know how that turned out.

The Denver Post, naturally, was not on board with the decision either: “If money, not winning the Super Bowl, was clearly Charles Woodson’s top priority, why would the Broncos want him anyway?  ’There’s no freaking way he’d want to go to Oakland,’ Broncos corner Champ Bailey told 102.3 FM ESPN on Tuesday. It is hard to believe, Champ, but once again the almighty dollar prevailed.”

Peter King got in on the action as well: “I guess personal history mattered to Woodson. Maybe his wine business. But unless Denver made a horse dung offer, it’s a strange decision.”

Or how about, it’s a perfectly normal decision. A guy with one more season left in his career wanted to finish it out with the team that brought him into the league. Isn’t that how it should be?

Rumor has it that the almost untouchable Chapman blew yesterday’s save because he ate too many pastries… according to Phillies’ español broadcaster Rickie Ricardo. Apparently, Mr. Ricardo had ordered a box of 100 cream cheese and guava pastries and presented them as a gift to Chapman. He ate 18 and then blew the save. If that’s our key to victory, then Chollie needs to be hitting up Tastykake on a daily basis (for more than just his usual chocolate Kreamies fix.)

Cole Hamels pitched another decent game, in most respects, but fell to 1-7 on the year. Hamels left in the 7th with a 1-run deficit, and the combination of DeFractus/Aumont helped pad the lead for the Marlins.

Story has it that Cole Hamels hasn’t pitched with a lead since April 7th. Yeesh. It really seems like every time we get some momentum, it’s spoiled with some absolutely depressing, humbling, pathetic loss to a lower caliber team. Cheers to that.

The crew, which includes Ernie Johnson, Shaquille O’Neal, Charles Barkley, and Kenny “The Jet” Smith, provide coverage and analysis throughout the game, which is about as incoherent as television could get.

Honestly, it’s probably the most entertaining sports coverage on television today, but make no mistake, sports are rarely covered. Most of the programming involves 4 middle-aged men incoherently babbling and insulting each other for sometimes 20 minutes straight. It’s a lot of chuckling, a lot of shameless promotion, and a whole lot of confusion.

Seriously, the producers must be biting their fingernails during every broadcast.

The Knicks and Pacers Game 5 highlights went something along the lines of (and I’m paraphrasing… terribly…):

Ernie Johnson : And the Knicks lead by 2 at halftime…. Kenny your thoughts?

Kenny The Jet : The Knicks look alright. It really just comes down to the effort of your players and-

Charles Barkley : Aye, lemme tell you something… if Melo come out on fire like he’s s’posed to be doing, they gon’ be alright…. (immediate transition of subjects) Craig Sager suit look like the damn emergency broadcast system done went offffff.

Shaq : I like that suit. He dressed sharp. (Then Shaq makes a poor joke to emulate Charles Barkley, no one laughs, there’s an awkward silence, and Ernie chimes back in to move the segment along)

Then that process is repeated for about 30 minutes before, during, and after the game. It’s high comedy. Please, allow me to demonstrate:

The Knicks have very little chance of winning this series, but ideas like this are why they are absolutely doomed:

Knicks fans Coach Woodson should start JR Smith next game to see if he can break out of his shooting slump. #NBAPlayoffs

— Earvin Magic Johnson (@MagicJohnson) May 15, 2013

Magic… you a dummy.

This is a great move for restoring some certainty in the Sixers future. Hinkie has been a well-sought after executive and is tagged as being one of the pioneers of “analytics” in basketball. This, is being compared to the movie ‘Moneyball’ for basketball, where cap-space and efficiency percentages are taken into consideration with much more regard than say, individual points-per-game.

An interesting example of that is this year’s 2012-13 Houston Rockets team, which intentionally stacked their roster to make 3-point attempts, so that even if only a 3rd of them were made, the opposing team would have to make at least 50% of their field goal attempts to break even. That was something Hinkie was responsible for engineering, and in the case of the Houston Rockets, it worked.

The point is, Hinkie is much better at restructuring a team from the inside-out. Someone of his notoriety allows for better coaching prospects, as well. The turn-around time for success under a system like that is much quicker and bodes well for cultivating draft picks and salary space.

With all the speculation about whom the 76ers will hire as head coach, they have not actively interviewed anyone yet. Tony DiLeo intends on resigning publicly this week, and I imagine the interview process will carry on from there.

I was glad to see that my Miami Heat prediction turned out to be correct, however, the free throws…not so much. Man, that was a beat down of the highest order.

Predictions for tonight?  Gotta go with the Grizzlies and the Pacers. Both home. Both more complete teams.

Also, check out this tweet from MettaWorldPeace commenting on last night’s Warriors game: “I think Steve Curry is Top 10 in the NBA. If he works on his defense, he will be MVP next year.”

Gotta love the response from Steph (aka Steve) Curry’s response as well: “Back to Oakland. Ready to get back to work already. Steve Curry…out!”

Good stuff.

I only came on here to make a few predictions:

1.) The Thunder will lose to the Grizzlies in 6.

2.) The Heat will beat the Bulls and they will definitely win tonight (special bonus prediction: Wade/Lebron will combine to take 30 free throws. Wade attempted none in game one and Lebron only attempted 9. You think that will continue? You better believe Stern is going to be in the ears of those refs all night long. No way they can let the chosen one lose in round 2).

3.) The Spurs will beat the Warriors in 7.

4.) Indiana will beat New York in 6.

These NBA playoffs have been a lot of fun. It’s nice to just watch an NBA game and not care about the outcome. Heck, I don’t even hate Lebron as much as I used to thanks to the Harlem Shake video.

5.) I want to put this down in writing: last night I had a dream that newly acquired Raiders safety Usama Young intercepted Andrew Luck and returned that INT 46 yards. Not only does this show how lame my dreams are, BUT if it proves to be true, that’s crazy. We’ll check back in September.

6.) I started re-watching LOST recently and not only does re-watching it make me dislike the character of Kate even more, but it also shows just how little follow through the writers actually had. For instance, (and spoilers ahead for those of you who still haven’t seen the show), the night before Michael and Walt get on the raft, Michael says to Walt something like, ‘Hey man, we don’t have to get on the raft’ and Walt looking very creepy says, ‘Yes we do’ while ominous music plays in the background like Walt has super powers or something. But then NOTHING ever comes of that.  Sure, Walt gets kidnapped but he is basically NEVER heard from again during the show (save for sporadic mentionings and appearances in the next 5 seasons).

The writer’s have always said that they didn’t write anything for Walt because the actor playing him grew up too fast. But that’s BS. I think they just couldn’t figure out how to explain why he was ‘Special’ and didn’t know where to go with the character. I mean, you have the audience suspend their disbelief about an island with polar bears and smoke monsters, but then hit the brakes when a 11 year old suddenly looks 13? Come on now. You’re better than that.

Also, when Kate has to admit to being a criminal in front of everyone she says that she is on the run for something she “Supposedly” did, when we later find out that she definitely blew up her mom’s abusive boyfriend (or husband, I can’t remember which). So why is she saying the word ‘Supposedly?’ she definitely killed that dude. Ain’t no supposed about it. Damn, I hate Kate. Did I mention that?

But enough LOST bashing, cause I really do like the show, and I think that the moment the survivors get on the raft is one of the best moments of TV ever. Perhaps even THE best. I mean, when Vincent swims out after the raft…well…water works galore.

That scene and the end of Field of Dreams are almost always guaranteed to make me weepy.

On the downside, one of our “aces” is plummeting to the level of worst E.R.A. in the majors, given the amount of innings he has pitched. Yea, it’s fair to say that Halladay may have had his worst outing yet, and he followed that up with the notion that he may be injured and possibly out for the remainder of the season.

This comes right after yours truly said this:

I think it’s pretty safe to say that Halladay won’t be winning any more Cy Young awards, BUT, I think I feel pretty confident in saying that he’s going to be alright this year. He’s getting old, and he definitely doesn’t have the same stuff, but he’s wising up to that fact and pitching accordingly.

Well said, Randy. You’re a friggin’ idiot.

The Head Rush jinx holds true once again.

Can I just throw out the nickname, “Little Piece?” Domonic Brown is starting to hit like his spring-training numbers, and I think it’s about time that fans embraced him.

We’re getting an inconsistent offense right now, but it shows enormous potential. Certainly more than last year. It’s hard to say how the Phillies can go from sweeping our division rival the Mets, to being swept by the Cleveland Indians, only to win the next two against the Marlins. Charlie has been switching around the lineup since the additions of Delmon Young and Carlos Ruiz, and I think that as time goes on, the hitters are only going to get more comfortable.

It’s not as though we ran into stellar pitching over the weekend. If anything, the Mets probably boasted the best rotation of the 3 teams, and yet we were still able to muster wins out of all of them.

Speaking of pitching, do you know who has the best win percentage out of all of our pitchers right now? It’s freakin’ Pettibone! He picked up his second win last night to make his record 2-0. Even stranger, the next guy on that list is Kyle Kendrick with a 3-1 record. Those are our only 2 pitchers above the .500 mark.

I’m not going to jump on the crazy wagon, because it’s insane to think that we can ride those two guys out to a wild card spot, but after 5+ years of watching Kendrick get destroooyyyyyed, it’s nice to finally see some consistency out of him. There’s actually some surprising stats in this great article by Todd Zolecki that will blow your mind, but the most notable was that he is 10-5 with a 2.75 ERA in his last 19 starts. Wow.

I think it’s pretty safe to say that Halladay won’t be winning any more Cy Young awards, BUT, I think I feel pretty confident in saying that he’s going to be alright this year. He’s getting old, and he definitely doesn’t have the same stuff, but he’s wising up to that fact and pitching accordingly. I say this after Halladay’s implosion against the Indians, but didn’t you already see that coming? He just had 3 incredibly solid starts. I think that’s the sort of roller coaster we can expect from him this season. It will be, strangely, consistent.

The point is, GET BACK ON THE WAGON PHILLIES FANS. This season has just begun.

And here’s my reaction:

WAIT! WHO? Oh man, who! No seriously, who did we just…(goes on-line and googles Menelik Watson) THIS GUY IS AWESOME!

Now, will he ever be good in the NFL? Who knows. But it my mind, he’s already the Raiders starting RT and made back to back pro-bowls.

Also, keep in mind when looking at draft grades: they are meaningless. Case in point, the Miami Dolphins are roundly being praised for their draft while the Patriots are getting some heat for theirs.  I might be going out on a limb here, but I am willing to bet that Bill Belichick knows what he’s doing juuuuuuust a bit more than Jeff Ireland. Just a bit.

But alas, it is all over now. Now, it’s onto the NFL season…I wish we could just fast forward to 2014 so the Raiders can draft Jadeveon Clowney already. Now that’s a player I know.

Speaking of the Dolphins, how about those new uniforms?  You remember that game Echo the Dolphin for Sega? I’m willing to bet Echo would DESTROY that sissy little dolphin they have on their helmets. Yeesh.

And the Jaguars well…I just want to pretend that their two-tone helmets don’t exist.

It looks like the Nuggets are going to lose to the Warriors, which makes me happy for some strange reason. It’s weird that sports grudges carry over based on city, but because I don’t like the Broncos, I also enjoy it when the Nuggets fail. Also, the Nuggets have Iggy now, so it’s fun to see him put another team through so much playoff misery. You know that fool had 7 turnovers last night?  Ouch.

Speaking of 7′s, Delaware has a new D-League team, which is awesome. Blue Rocks games are incredibly fun, so let’s hope that the Delaware 87ers (nicknamed the Sevens…huh?) games are just as fun.

Also, and at the risk of upsetting a one of our loyal readers, Andre Miller got DESTROYED by Stephen Curry last night. The old man cannot play defense against the young gun. There was one play where it looked like Curry legitimately broke Miller’s ankles. It’s never easy to watch the elderly get abused like that (please, somebody out there who enjoys Andre Miller almost as much as Jason Statham, please comment! This is ripe for the comments section!)