Celebrity NFL Picks

August 20, 2010 Adam Thomas


JaMarcus Russell

Yo, wuts goin? Wut it do wut it does? Is yur boy JaMarcus
Russell hear make sum NFL piks ya heard? Wut I like? Know bout it. Gotta be dem
boys da Vikings. Dem wears purple? Is what I drank. Simp as dat. Who drives
cars? Out in da wild boy. 


Cole Hamels

Heeeey guys. 
Cole Hamels here.  Lolli-pops
and gum drops.  I guess if I had to
make a pick for who’ll win the Super Bowl, it’d have to be the San Diego
Chargers. I’m from San Diego and I grew up a Chargers fan, so I’ll go with
them.  Now I know I play in
Philadelphia and should go with the Eagles, but I think Philly fans are mature
enough to respect my hometown roots and they know that I….(Interview
interrupted as a mad Philly fan runs up and kicks Hamels in the vagina. Hamels
balls up in fetal position and cries for hours.)


Abner Doubleday

Well hello there, and a good morrow to you sir. I’m Abner
Doubleday reputed father of baseball and notorious throughout our Union’s great
thirty-four states for my renowned topographical work and map-making abilities.
I choose the New England Patriots to win this year’s Super Bowl sporting contest,
if only for their wonderfully colored garments and the faultless cleft chin of
their quarterback, Tom Brady. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to get back to…(Interview
interrupted as he is bayoneted through the heart by a Confederate soldier.) 

This post was written by Adam Thomas


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