Categories for Phillies

Chooch Doesn’t Want to be Traded

July 31, 2013 Randy Neil

Today is the trade deadline. Discussions have been relatively quiet, but it always seems that way up until the last frantic minute.

Michael Young has openly come out and said he will waive his trade clause for the Rangers or Red Sox. I’m sure they are dying to have a guy who has half as many GIDP as he does RBI.

With Yadier Molina going down last night, there’s been a lot of rumors about our beloved Carlos Ruiz getting traded. I, for one, do not want that to happen.

The pitchers absolutely love him, he’s one of the best defensive catchers in the league, and what is he going to do when Molina comes off of the DL? Split duties?

Yea, I don’t think so.

Don’t trade Chooch.


Cardinals and Supercuts

July 26, 2013 Adam Thomas

Can we just take a second here and appreciate how good of an organization the St. Louis Cardinals have been recently? In the past 15 years, they have had only 3 losing seasons, been to the playoffs 9 times, and won 2 world series.

How do they do it?  I don’t know, but the Phillies better find out. In the immortal word’s of Cardinal Pretzley: Ruben…take notes.

You know what happens when you don’t have cable? You get stuck watching shows like: Under the Dome. You know what the best part about Under the Dome is? A freaking DOME came down and surrounded this town and all the citizens reacted the same way: they took a look at it, sighed, shrugged and went “Meh.”

Are you kidding me? If a Dome came down around Newark, I’d be running around like “OMG WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE! I NEED FOOD AND BATTERIES AND GUNS AND BLANKETS AND FIRE AND WATER AND AAHHHHHHHH GET ME OUTTA HERE!”

But not the citizens of Chester’s Mill. Nope. They’re just like, ‘Whatever.’

So, have you seen the Supercuts commercial with that band who are incredibly in love with Supercuts, saying things like, “You have a pride in the way you step out into public, especially when you have a good haircut.”

Well, did you know that the band featured in the commercial is an ACTUAL band? How weird is that? I thought they were just a bunch of actors. But no. They’re a real band. They’re called ‘Vintage Trouble’ and they played at the ESPYS.

Look, I know that as a band you gotta do what you gotta do, but to do a freaking Supercuts commercial?

Although, to be fair, I probably never would’ve heard of them and they probably wouldn’t have gotten the ESPYs without it, so I guess there was a method to the madness. Be sure to keep an eye out for the tiny Nicorette ‘Celebration Band’ at next year’s award show.

Speaking of bands, did you know there was a guitarist who got kicked out of Nirvana AND Soundgarden before they both got super huge?  Yeesh.


Who Saw that Coming?

July 11, 2013 Adam Thomas

The Phillies are what we thought they were. Mediocre. It has been this way the entire first half of the season. They will go on a run, get close to or at .500 and then fall to the back of the pack only to crawl their way back to a game within .500 and then go on a losing streak.

Of course, I think Randy had a big part to play in last night’s loss (can you say….JINX!) but I don’t put the loss entirely on his shoulders. Actually, scratch that, I do. Shame on you, Randall.

With all that being said, the season ain’t over. Heck, we haven’t even reached the halfway mark, and I for one am still on this Phillies bandwagon. Unfortunately, that wagon is being driven by Ruben Amaro Jr. who drives the wagon like Dr. Gonzo running from bats.

I can’t wait until the trade deadline when he trades away Cliff Lee for middling prospects that never amount to any more than a bag of magic beans (shout out, NT). So hang on tight, Phillies fan, this bumpy ride is about to get bumpier.


1 Comment

So Are We Buying Or Selling?

July 10, 2013 Randy Neil

It’s been an interesting week for the Phillies and the looming questions of whether we are buying or selling keeps getting postponed with each victory.  Ruben Amaro, Jr. has been very vocal about his trade-deadline decisions and the weight he puts on these current series to affect them.

Essentially, if we continue to have success, then he isn’t going to “sell” off some of our assets, and if we come up short in making up some ground in the division, then he’ll most likely tank the team for the rest of the season and begin trading players.  Thanks for the vote of confidence, Ruben.

Amaro, Jr. was very critical of Ryan Howard before his injury came to light, stating that he was playing below his potential and not living up to his contract.  A contract, mind you, that Amaro Jr. was very pivotal in creating.  There’s a lot of criticism I have for RAJ, but putting these intense expectations on a team right before the trade deadline may be one of the worst yet.

Sure, this past week has been pretty delightful.  There’s a lot more passion than usual and these divisional series have been great.  One question, though:

What happens if the Phillies lose tonight?  It’s a very realistic scenario that could bring this high soaring fantasy back to a reality.

With these two wins against the Nationals, I’ve seen an onslaught of Phillies fans claiming we need to stay the course and that our comeback is right around the corner.  There’s arguments to support it, and there’s plenty of arguments against it.

A startling fact that CSN made me aware of is our starting rotation’s quality start output.  Through the first half of our season, even with the injuries to Lannan and Halladay, the Phillies have led the majors with 58 quality starts.  In spite of Hamels’ poor record, almost everyone is aware that it doesn’t reflect his skill level and potential.  Perhaps that is indicative of our entire season and entire team.  Maybe, we are finally righting this ship and our talent is starting to catch up to our record.

There’s still huge inconsistencies with our offense.  Ryan Howard being out 6-8 weeks, regardless of what anyone says, is still a huge hurdle in this rally to become relevant again.  In spite of Domonic Brown’s stellar All-Star caliber first half, our offense has been outscored by leaps and bounds drawing huge question marks around this trade deadline.

Don’t get me wrong, I’d still love to keep this entire team together and make a push towards the playoffs.  The NL Central essentially has dibs on the two wildcard spots, so I see our best hope being the division title.  If the past week has been any indication of our drive and talent, then things seem hopeful.

The question remains, though: If we lose tonight, or tomorrow, or both… what does that mean for us then?

1 Comment

Papelbon Has Crazy Eyes… And Ideas

July 7, 2013 Randy Neil

Not for nothing, but Papelbon has been having a pretty stellar season so far.  Jonathan currently has 18 saves and boasts a 1.87 ERA.  Not too shabby, especially with our bullpen in awry the way it is right now.

My only complaint is that Papelbon tends to say some terribly stupid things, and have terrible opinions, and probably is a terrible person inside.

Much like Spencer Hawes, Papelbon is a “red-blooded” American that thinks our government is out to take our guns and infringe on our freedom, etc, etc, and has no problem saying so.  He has every right to say these things, but I reserve the right to judge him for that.

The latest newsworthy opinion came when JP was questioned about Yasiel Puig’s All-Star chances.  Not only did he pronounce the kid’s name wrong (which confuses me because baseball coverage talks about him on a daily basis), but he referred to the notion of him being on the ballot as an “absolute joke” because of Puig’s short tenure in the majors.

Normally, something like this would be a reasonable statement (albeit bold and somewhat inconsiderate), except for the fact that Papelbon made the All-Star team in his rookie season, as well.  Granted, JP had played all 86 games leading up to the All-Star game that year, but is it really that ridiculous considering Puig’s stats?  He’s having the greatest start as a rookie since Joe Dimaggio.

Narrow-minded opinions like this just make it hard to enjoy your talent, Pap.


Great Broadcasting Names: Ducis Rodgers

June 26, 2013 Adam Thomas

Without cable, if I want to watch TV in the morning or in the afternoon after work, I am usually forced to watch the local news. Which sucks. And is depressing. EXCEPT for the fact that Philly’s ABC sports anchor is named Ducis (pronounced ‘Deuces’) Rodgers. That is a great name. And I felt it was appropriate to start off with that in light of Randy posting the Anchorman 2 trailer (which looks awesome).

Moving on.

I wanted to do a track by track iTunes review for Kanye’s new album, but I couldn’t do it. Listening to Kanye just fills me with an unexplained rage. The guy is the world’s biggest D-Bag, and I just can’t take him. So screw it.

Speaking of music, the early favorite for my summer album of 2013 is….wait for it….RUBBER SOUL by the Beatles!

Now, I know what you’re thinking. That album came out YEARS ago, which is true, but I have never been able to appreciate the Beatles and so for me, listening to them is a brand new experience.

I’ve got to say though, for being some lover boy types, the Beatles do sure write a lot of disturbing songs about women. That song ‘Run for your Life’ is psychotic. “You better run for you life if you can, little girl. Hide your head in the sand, little girl. Catch you with another man, that’s the end…little girl.” Alrighty then.

The first 6 tracks on Rubber Soul are great. In fact, the only two tracks that I don’t really like are ‘Michelle’ which is almost unbearable and ‘Girl’ which IS unbearable–I think the song would be OK if it weren’t for the sighing.

Good for the Heat winning the title (as was predicted here), and even better for the Blackhawks–who I think have the sweetest jerseys around.

And all this news about the Phillies possibly blowing up their team and trading their stars would make me happy if it weren’t for one small detail: Ruben Amaro Jr. is going to be making the trades! I bet all the other GM’s are just lining up to fleece that sucker. He is the worst.

And if you haven’t seen it yet, be sure to check out ‘This is the End.’ It’s good stuff (especially Danny McBride and Craig Robinson. Holy crap, they steal the show).

That’s all I got. Until next time….