Categories for NFL

2019 AFC Wildcard Predictions!

January 2, 2020 Adam Thomas

Bills at Texans

In researching this game—and by ‘researching’ I mean Googling ‘Bills vs Texans’ and clicking on the first link that popped up—I was surprised to see that all but one of the experts on CBS sports is picking the Bills. I think that the Texans take care of business at home to earn their annual wild card win, divisional round loss.

This year, heading into Randy’s fantasy football draft, I didn’t want to draft a quarterback early, like Deshaun Watson. I wanted to wait on a quarterback and get Josh Allen late in the draft. I chose Cam Newton instead (Whoops!) and Allen went a few players later. When it came back around, I decided to draft Lamar Jackson as my back up, not knowing that he would turn into the greatest quarterback the world has ever seen. Of course, I ended up losing in the championship to a team that started Kirk Cousins. So next year, remember during your fantasy drafts to wait on a quarterback. There are just so many good ones that Kirk Cousins can literally win you a championship. Except for everyone that plays in Randy’s league with me. Feel free to draft a quarterback with your early round picks.

Got a little distracted there—funny how that happens when writing a stream of consciousness blog about the Bills playing the Texans. I like the Texans for the simple fact that they have the better quarterback. I wish I had more analysis for you, but that’s all I got.

Texans 27 Bills 24

Titans at Patriots

Whoa buddy. Now this is a game. Full of all sorts of intrigue and the very real possibility of this being the end of the Brady/Belichick era. Of course, the end of the Patriots dynasty coming at the hands of a jobber like Ryan Tannehill would be too convenient of an end. Everybody outside of New England wants it to happen. We would love to watch Derick Henry run for 200 yards and spike the ball on Belichick’s nuts. But of course, this is the real world. That’s not going to happen. Belichick is going to figure out a way to shut down Ryan Tannehill—something Tannehill has proven adept at doing himself up until this season—they will bottle up Henry and Brady’s old man strength will power them juuuuust enough to win the game.

Another factor is Mike Vrabel going up against his mentor in Belichick. It has a little bit of an Anakin Skywalker vs. Obi Wan Kenobi vibe, no? Of course, Kenobi already has the high ground. Don’t jump, Vrabel. You’ll just end up legless and on fire on the molten world of Mustafar.

Patriots 23 Titans 19

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2019 NFC Wild Card Predictions!

December 31, 2019 Randy Neil

Hot dog, everyone, we’re back!  Adam and I have made a New Year’s resolution to return and give the readers what they have long been begging for: sub-par sports predictions and fodder!  In spite of our long sabbatical filled with marriages, kids, job changes, and peyote benders, we still feel compelled to deliver hard-hitting analysis and predict the future of sport.

I can assure you that in that time span, we have gotten no more wiser, no more humble, and no more accurate with our commentary.  And with that, BRING ON THE FODDER!!

Seattle Seahawks (-1.5) @ Philadelphia Eagles

Holy moly, the Eagles baaaaaarely squeaked into the playoffs thanks to a Dallas implosion down the stretch.  The stat about Wentz throwing for over 4000 yards with no single receiver having more than 500 yards for the season pretty much sums how everything has gone.  That team is a depleted shell of itself and any success can solely be attributed to Wentz and dumb luck.

On the other hand, Seattle is coming off a big loss against the 49ers for the division.  Russell Wilson is having a great season and they are still stocked with receivers ready to light up the Eagles’ secondary. Re-signing Marshawn Lynch is a pretty sneaky play on their part to fill the injuries at running back.  Even if he performs poorly, it’s still a huge morale boost with tremendous upside.  I don’t think it’s anything the Eagles can’t bottle up, though.  The Seahawks were top 5 in rushing yards this year, but injuries and a good Eagles run defense is going suffocate that.

This game comes down to the Eagles depleted O-line and secondary.  The Seahawks are going to be looking to throw and while the Birds’ secondary has had flashes of excellence, they are too easily exploited and get burned on the simplest of routes.  I expect Wilson to have a 300+ yard passing game and the question becomes: Will Wentz have time in the pocket and be able to do the same thing?  He’s throwing to literal practice squad players and I’m pretty sure they just signed my mailman to help add depth at the position.  I wouldn’t count on Boston Scott having another 3 touchdown game.

With all that, I still have to go with my trashy Philly heart:

Eagles 38, Seahawks 28.

Minnesota Vikings @ New Orleans Saints (-7.5)

The Saints have really had some gut-wrenching losses in recent playoff history.  I still remember almost choking on my spinach artichoke dip after the Saints secondary let Stefon Diggs catch that miracle touchdown in the 2017 Divisional Playoffs game.  I’m sure the Saints haven’t forgotten either.

The main difference is Minnesota’s quarterback: Kirk Cousins.  There was plenty of QB/WR turmoil that played out this year between Cousins and his receiving core.  Even with the few flashy plays and breakout games from Diggs, the Vikings still ranked 24th in passing.  They are still dysfunctional.

You know who isn’t dysfunctional?  Drew Brees.  The Saints are 4th in the NFL for passing offense.  The Vikings have a considerable amount of interceptions this year but they still allow 65% completion rate.  I expect the Saints wide-receiving core to have a great game.

Saints 31, Vikings 13

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Adam is going to have the AFC Wild Card predictions later this week so keep an eye out for that.  Thanks for reading — until next time.

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More Free Agency Thoughts!

March 12, 2015 Adam Thomas

1.) The biggest fail of free agency so far has to belong to the Seattle Seahawks social media team who–after safety Earl Thomas tweeted “Hakuna Matata” in reference to the team signing Jimmy Graham–sent out this tweet in reply, “it means ‘no worries for the rest of your life.’

Rest of your LIFE? Are you kidding me? What kind of jacked up version of the Lion King did they watch? It’s days, fools. DAYS. Which they corrected in about a minute once everyone pointed it out to them on twitter.

2.) Eagles fans in a nutshell: after trading LeSean McCoy, all I heard about was how the running back position was overrated and not that important. Now that the Eagles are about to sign DeMarco Murray to a multi-million dollar deal it’s “omyyyggggawd what a great running back! We need to sign him!”

Also, Chip Kelly seems like the biggest toolbox in football. How can that Barney Rubble looking fool garner respect in NFL locker rooms? HOW? That press conference was an absolute gem. Lies, upon lies, upon lies. Good stuff.

That Sam Bradford for Nick Foles trade was the funniest thing I’ve ever seen. That trade wouldn’t even be allowed in fantasy football.

My prediction for the season? Eagles start out 3-0, all is well and then Bradford tears both of his knees to shreds, they end up like 5-11 and Chip flees back to college, getting a job coaching Oklahoma.

Mark it 8, Dude.

3.) By the way, another note about how stupid free agency is.

The Jaguars signed 6 unrestricted free agents yesterday.

The Packers have signed 5 unrestricted free agents since 2007.

Which organization would you like your team to emulate? Again, don’t get caught up in the ESPN hype of who wins free agency (which, by the way, I’m sure every news outlet will trumpet the Jaguars for winning it this year).

4.) Album of the week is Rose Mountain by the Screaming Females. This is actually the album of the year so far in my book. The lead singer’s voice annoyed me at first, but now, I’ve come to love it. Wishing Well is the bomb.

 

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NFL Free Agency in a Nutshell

March 10, 2015 Adam Thomas

2014: the Buccaneers sign Michael Johnson to a 5-year, $43.75 million deal with $24 million guaranteed. Declared a great signing as he was the number 5 free agent available.

2015: Profootballtalk is reporting that in an attempt to get out of paying Johnson $7 million, the Buccaneers might cut him. After a year.

2013: The Dolphins sign linebacker Philip Wheeler to a five-year, $26 million contract.

2015: The Dolphins are trying to trade or will release Wheeler.

So remember, when your team signs a player to a contract worth millions today, it might be best to temper your expectations. He might not be on the team a year from now.

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So Long Shady

March 6, 2015 Adam Thomas

The Shady McCoy trade was a great example of a trade that seems to help both teams. Buffalo most definitely improves in the short term and the Eagles would seem to benefit more down the road. The trade also cannot be viewed as simply a player for player swap as an astute reader of the Headrush pointed out that the trade is Kiko and 10 million dollars in cap space for Shady–so it is really Kiko and whoever the Eagles sign in free agency for McCoy.

However, what I don’t like about the trade is that it looks like Chip Kelly is clearly in control of both coaching and personnel moves for the Eagles. This would scare me if I were an Eagles fan because I don’t think Chip has done enough in his brief tenure to have earned that power. He has only made the playoffs once and, save for the first game the system was implemented against the Redskins, the league has seemed to caught up with his up-tempo offense.

He also seems to be incredibly stubborn when it comes to getting rid of talented players. Desean Jackson would’ve helped the team last year. Shady would’ve helped the team this year. And for some reason, he doesn’t seem to like Nick Foles. It seems like instead of simply wanting to win, Kelly wants to win and get all the credit for being the mastermind behind the team’s success.

And I will say this, for a coach who seems to believe in player nutrition–smoothies! Fruits! Vegetables! No more junk food!–as part of his revolutionary ‘system’ shouldn’t he be buying into the program himself? It can’t be easy to have to hear about nutrition in the Eagles team meetings from a guy who looks like an avocado.

Anyway, getting back to the topic, if the Eagles sign a guy like Mark Ingram or CJ Spiller for $3-5 million, then can sign 1-2 other players with the remaining money, I think that the trade looks better for the Eagles. If, however, they waste the money on some more Oregon scrubs, well, than I think they are the clear losers in the deal.

Free Agency

Want to see how much more loaded the 2015 free agent class is than the 2014 free agent class? Look no further than the top 10 free agents available from each year:

2014:

Jairus Byrd, Eugene Monroe, Michael Johnson, Alex Mack, Lamarr Houstin, Jared Veldeer, Brandon Albert, Alterraun Verner, Michael Bennett, Aqib Talib.

2015:

Ndamukong Suh, Justin Houstin, Dez Bryant, Demaryius Thomas, Jason Pierre-Paul, Julius Thomas, Mike Iupati, Randall Cobb, Devin McCourty, DeMarco Murray.

Good God! It’s night and day! In 2014, two freaking Raiders made the top 10, that’s how weak that free agency class was. This year, holy smokes, it is LOADED.

Now, granted, some of those names in the top 10 received the franchise tag already, but 10-25 looks even better than the top ten from last year. Needless to say, this is the year to have all the monies.

Bracketology

People get on Kiper and McShay all the time for the stupidity of their Mock Drafts but is there anything stupider on ESPN (talent excluded) than Bracketology? I mean, “Joey Brackets” has to have the eaiest job in the world. Just look at the rankings, factor in strength of schedule aaaaaand your done. In fact, his job gets easier once all the conference tournaments are done and half the field is set, so I’m not even sure what he does all day. Look at rankings, look at strength of schedule, go back to sleep.

Album of the week

Last week, I talked about how the women were rocking it this year, so this week’s album will dip into last year and be very male centric as it’s Tomorrow’s Hits by The Men. Not only is the album lean and mean at 8 tracks (which a lot of albums are trending towards these days) but I watched a video of them on the AV Club and the bass player looked like Fat Mac from It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia. So definite bonus points for that.

Until next time….

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