Categories for Eagles

2019 NFC Wild Card Predictions!

December 31, 2019 Randy Neil

Hot dog, everyone, we’re back!  Adam and I have made a New Year’s resolution to return and give the readers what they have long been begging for: sub-par sports predictions and fodder!  In spite of our long sabbatical filled with marriages, kids, job changes, and peyote benders, we still feel compelled to deliver hard-hitting analysis and predict the future of sport.

I can assure you that in that time span, we have gotten no more wiser, no more humble, and no more accurate with our commentary.  And with that, BRING ON THE FODDER!!

Seattle Seahawks (-1.5) @ Philadelphia Eagles

Holy moly, the Eagles baaaaaarely squeaked into the playoffs thanks to a Dallas implosion down the stretch.  The stat about Wentz throwing for over 4000 yards with no single receiver having more than 500 yards for the season pretty much sums how everything has gone.  That team is a depleted shell of itself and any success can solely be attributed to Wentz and dumb luck.

On the other hand, Seattle is coming off a big loss against the 49ers for the division.  Russell Wilson is having a great season and they are still stocked with receivers ready to light up the Eagles’ secondary. Re-signing Marshawn Lynch is a pretty sneaky play on their part to fill the injuries at running back.  Even if he performs poorly, it’s still a huge morale boost with tremendous upside.  I don’t think it’s anything the Eagles can’t bottle up, though.  The Seahawks were top 5 in rushing yards this year, but injuries and a good Eagles run defense is going suffocate that.

This game comes down to the Eagles depleted O-line and secondary.  The Seahawks are going to be looking to throw and while the Birds’ secondary has had flashes of excellence, they are too easily exploited and get burned on the simplest of routes.  I expect Wilson to have a 300+ yard passing game and the question becomes: Will Wentz have time in the pocket and be able to do the same thing?  He’s throwing to literal practice squad players and I’m pretty sure they just signed my mailman to help add depth at the position.  I wouldn’t count on Boston Scott having another 3 touchdown game.

With all that, I still have to go with my trashy Philly heart:

Eagles 38, Seahawks 28.

Minnesota Vikings @ New Orleans Saints (-7.5)

The Saints have really had some gut-wrenching losses in recent playoff history.  I still remember almost choking on my spinach artichoke dip after the Saints secondary let Stefon Diggs catch that miracle touchdown in the 2017 Divisional Playoffs game.  I’m sure the Saints haven’t forgotten either.

The main difference is Minnesota’s quarterback: Kirk Cousins.  There was plenty of QB/WR turmoil that played out this year between Cousins and his receiving core.  Even with the few flashy plays and breakout games from Diggs, the Vikings still ranked 24th in passing.  They are still dysfunctional.

You know who isn’t dysfunctional?  Drew Brees.  The Saints are 4th in the NFL for passing offense.  The Vikings have a considerable amount of interceptions this year but they still allow 65% completion rate.  I expect the Saints wide-receiving core to have a great game.

Saints 31, Vikings 13

Adam is going to have the AFC Wild Card predictions later this week so keep an eye out for that.  Thanks for reading — until next time.

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March Gladness

March 20, 2015 Adam Thomas

1.) Holy smokes, what a great start to the NCAA tournament. I’ve got to say, this weekend is hands down the best weekend in sports in my book. Basketball games galore, each filled with drama and so far, almost every one has come down to the last possession. Is there anything better than watching a team like Northeastern put up a great fight against a big school like Notre Dame only to have their players all suddenly experience synchronized brain meltdowns and turn the ball over on the last possession?

Or how about Georgia State beating Baylor on a last second three (by the freaking coaches son, no less) causing the coach to spas out and fall off his chair? Seriously. There is no better time in sports than right now. March madness rules.

2.) I remember either last year or the year before, I picked Missouri as a number 3 seed to go to the final four only to see them lose in their first game. This year, I picked number 3 seed Iowa State to go to the final four only to watch them lose in their first game. So number 3 seeds be warned, if I pick you to make it to the final four next year, you are donezo.

**I just double checked and Missouri was actually a number 2 seed and it was in 2012 so…yeah. My memory’s not the best.**

3.) Of all the Sportscaster anchors, John Buccigross is EASILY the most annoying when it comes to recaps. He does this little Minnie Mouse voice that just irks the hell out of me at 5 o’clock in the morning. “Russell Westbrook drives to the hoop (goes up 27 octaves to the Minnie Mouse voice) and he makes a ridiculous dunk!” Goodness. Please. Go. Away.

4.) 49ers linebacker Chris Borland retired earlier this week causing all sorts of pandemonium with NFL apologists. Mike Florio from Profootballtalk sent out a hilarious series of tweets about how “Americans routinely assume far greater physical risks for far less money and fame than the risk/reward of playing in the NFL” some examples of things he gave were “riding motorcycles without helmets, jumping out of airplanes, climbing rock walls, working as police officers, firefighters.” He also listed soccer as a sport where people are subjected to as much head trauma as football which is funny because growing up, football players would refer to soccer as a sport for sissies but now they are forced to use it as an argument to help support their game. Weird.

But of course the ultimate drop the mic moment came when someone tweeted to him: “As someone who actually did take that risk for his country, I’d appreciate you not using my dead friends for leverage here” to which he responded: “And I had an uncle who was decapitated in a coal mine. The truth is the truth.”

Crazy.

The bottom line is that the Borland retirement has to worry the NFL because he was an up and coming player who would make like 25 tackles a game. He seemed like the perfect replacement for Patrick Willis but he is now going to retire after only one season because of concerns over his long term health. People who love the NFL will respond similar to Florio, saying that there are thousands of guys who would give their left nut to play in the NFL and who can replace Borland. The only problem with that argument is that those guys probably suck and when the NFL loses good players over injury concerns and replaces them with bad players who love the game but can’t play, well, then the NFL becomes the XFL.

5.) Speaking of the NFL, shout out to commenter “Papa Bear” for calling me out on my 5-11 Eagles season prediction. Is it way to early to make these sorts of statements? Of course! But if I can’t use my jump to conclusions mat on this blog, then where else can I use it?

6.) Album of the week is “Man if Feels like Space Again” by Pond. The album sounds like a young Flaming Lips mixed with Tame Impala. Check it out cause it is pretty awesome (especially “Outside is the Right Side” and “Zond.”)

Enjoy the games everyone!

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More Free Agency Thoughts!

March 12, 2015 Adam Thomas

1.) The biggest fail of free agency so far has to belong to the Seattle Seahawks social media team who–after safety Earl Thomas tweeted “Hakuna Matata” in reference to the team signing Jimmy Graham–sent out this tweet in reply, “it means ‘no worries for the rest of your life.’

Rest of your LIFE? Are you kidding me? What kind of jacked up version of the Lion King did they watch? It’s days, fools. DAYS. Which they corrected in about a minute once everyone pointed it out to them on twitter.

2.) Eagles fans in a nutshell: after trading LeSean McCoy, all I heard about was how the running back position was overrated and not that important. Now that the Eagles are about to sign DeMarco Murray to a multi-million dollar deal it’s “omyyyggggawd what a great running back! We need to sign him!”

Also, Chip Kelly seems like the biggest toolbox in football. How can that Barney Rubble looking fool garner respect in NFL locker rooms? HOW? That press conference was an absolute gem. Lies, upon lies, upon lies. Good stuff.

That Sam Bradford for Nick Foles trade was the funniest thing I’ve ever seen. That trade wouldn’t even be allowed in fantasy football.

My prediction for the season? Eagles start out 3-0, all is well and then Bradford tears both of his knees to shreds, they end up like 5-11 and Chip flees back to college, getting a job coaching Oklahoma.

Mark it 8, Dude.

3.) By the way, another note about how stupid free agency is.

The Jaguars signed 6 unrestricted free agents yesterday.

The Packers have signed 5 unrestricted free agents since 2007.

Which organization would you like your team to emulate? Again, don’t get caught up in the ESPN hype of who wins free agency (which, by the way, I’m sure every news outlet will trumpet the Jaguars for winning it this year).

4.) Album of the week is Rose Mountain by the Screaming Females. This is actually the album of the year so far in my book. The lead singer’s voice annoyed me at first, but now, I’ve come to love it. Wishing Well is the bomb.

 

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So Long Shady

March 6, 2015 Adam Thomas

The Shady McCoy trade was a great example of a trade that seems to help both teams. Buffalo most definitely improves in the short term and the Eagles would seem to benefit more down the road. The trade also cannot be viewed as simply a player for player swap as an astute reader of the Headrush pointed out that the trade is Kiko and 10 million dollars in cap space for Shady–so it is really Kiko and whoever the Eagles sign in free agency for McCoy.

However, what I don’t like about the trade is that it looks like Chip Kelly is clearly in control of both coaching and personnel moves for the Eagles. This would scare me if I were an Eagles fan because I don’t think Chip has done enough in his brief tenure to have earned that power. He has only made the playoffs once and, save for the first game the system was implemented against the Redskins, the league has seemed to caught up with his up-tempo offense.

He also seems to be incredibly stubborn when it comes to getting rid of talented players. Desean Jackson would’ve helped the team last year. Shady would’ve helped the team this year. And for some reason, he doesn’t seem to like Nick Foles. It seems like instead of simply wanting to win, Kelly wants to win and get all the credit for being the mastermind behind the team’s success.

And I will say this, for a coach who seems to believe in player nutrition–smoothies! Fruits! Vegetables! No more junk food!–as part of his revolutionary ‘system’ shouldn’t he be buying into the program himself? It can’t be easy to have to hear about nutrition in the Eagles team meetings from a guy who looks like an avocado.

Anyway, getting back to the topic, if the Eagles sign a guy like Mark Ingram or CJ Spiller for $3-5 million, then can sign 1-2 other players with the remaining money, I think that the trade looks better for the Eagles. If, however, they waste the money on some more Oregon scrubs, well, than I think they are the clear losers in the deal.

Free Agency

Want to see how much more loaded the 2015 free agent class is than the 2014 free agent class? Look no further than the top 10 free agents available from each year:

2014:

Jairus Byrd, Eugene Monroe, Michael Johnson, Alex Mack, Lamarr Houstin, Jared Veldeer, Brandon Albert, Alterraun Verner, Michael Bennett, Aqib Talib.

2015:

Ndamukong Suh, Justin Houstin, Dez Bryant, Demaryius Thomas, Jason Pierre-Paul, Julius Thomas, Mike Iupati, Randall Cobb, Devin McCourty, DeMarco Murray.

Good God! It’s night and day! In 2014, two freaking Raiders made the top 10, that’s how weak that free agency class was. This year, holy smokes, it is LOADED.

Now, granted, some of those names in the top 10 received the franchise tag already, but 10-25 looks even better than the top ten from last year. Needless to say, this is the year to have all the monies.

Bracketology

People get on Kiper and McShay all the time for the stupidity of their Mock Drafts but is there anything stupider on ESPN (talent excluded) than Bracketology? I mean, “Joey Brackets” has to have the eaiest job in the world. Just look at the rankings, factor in strength of schedule aaaaaand your done. In fact, his job gets easier once all the conference tournaments are done and half the field is set, so I’m not even sure what he does all day. Look at rankings, look at strength of schedule, go back to sleep.

Album of the week

Last week, I talked about how the women were rocking it this year, so this week’s album will dip into last year and be very male centric as it’s Tomorrow’s Hits by The Men. Not only is the album lean and mean at 8 tracks (which a lot of albums are trending towards these days) but I watched a video of them on the AV Club and the bass player looked like Fat Mac from It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia. So definite bonus points for that.

Until next time….

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Chip Kelly Proves NFL Players are Out of Shape

September 12, 2013 Adam Thomas

Did you guys hear how well Chip Kelly’s up-tempo offense did on Monday night?  I sure did. About a zillion times. But you know what? All that it proves to me is that NFL players are out of shape.

Seriously. If you can’t handle running for 5 seconds every 40 seconds, then that is a damn shame. In fact, football games only feature 11 minutes of actual action during the course of a game. If everything played out equally, that means defenses are on the field for about 5.5 minutes a game. Break it down again and individual defenses are on the field for 2.75 minutes A GAME. HOW IN THE WORLD CAN YOU BE TIRED FROM THAT?

Come on NFL players, lets do some distance running, shall we?

Also, how come nobody is talking about how this high powered offense only scored 7 points in the second half? Could it be that the Redskins figured out this complex scheme pretty quickly? I say yes. For all the love Chip Kelly’s team is getting, it seems to be lost that his team only won the game by six points.

Eagles fans have a tendency to blow things out of proportion (shocking, I know). So this week, on the Delaware Park Parlay card, I like the following:

Chargers +13.5, Dolphins +9.5 and the Rams +13.5.

Welcome back glorious football!

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